wow.

Things got heavy there for a second, didn't they? Awkward silence on the internet.


Anyway, I have really awesome news for you.

Dan took the test on facebook called "Which Harry Potter character are you?"

He is Luna Lovegood.

Then I took it.

I'm Draco Malfoy.


Awesome.


Then we took the "Which President are you?" quiz.

He's Clinton.

HOT.

Even hotter?


So am I.

To whom it may concern:



I'm sorry that my approach to Mormonism is taxing and frustrating to you. But please leave me alone now. Not to sound like a little kid on the playground, but seriously, you are hurting my feelings. Again.


-Stephanie.

*ps, BE SAFE

Nothing is more romantic than taking yourself on a late night walk around the neighborhood.

Nothing is more terrifying than walking by a supposedly empty car, only to have in lurch violently towards you just as you pass by.

Nothing is more awkward than looking in the unrolled windows of said car to see that what you thought was an eight-legged monster trying to break free of it's Honda Civic prison is in fact two teenagers going at it in the back seat.

Nothing is more pathetic than following up your initial mini-scream that could probably only be heard by dogs, with a "uh, hey, um, sorry, okay, bye."*



the end.









ps. Thanks to all who played nicely in the last post. I so enjoy the internet, don't you?

i start to get anxious every time i wake up to a flag stuck in my lawn

Because it usually means that the next Sacrament Meeting at my church will be filled with such "I love America" fervor that I start to get a little freaked out.


Now hold on. I love America. I feel blessed to live here. But I'm not sure what my love of America has to do with my beliefs as a Christian. Thus, I start to wonder about people who rely on America-is-great testimonies for several reasons:

One, our church is international. If a major part of your testimony centers on the blessing that is one country, what are you (inadvertently) saying about the members in other countries? That they aren't as blessed? Less Mormon?

I'd particularly like to pose that question to the person who included an impression of "other countries" in their testimony. Said impression included raising their voice and octave and sarcastically mocking other countries that don't always agree with America's involvement in Afghanistan and Iraq: "Oh No! Those bad Americans trying to GIVE PEOPLE LIBERTY! OH NO!" Followed by a fervent vow to always love America, not matter what any freedom-hating-socialist European said. (Okay, not the socialist part.) **


I guess I'm saying that if your testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day- Saints doesn't mention Jesus, but does mention American superiority a lot, well, shouldn't you maybe find a different church? One better suited to your needs/beliefs?

Okay, that was snotty.


But in all honestly, after these sort of meetings, I always come home asking Dan "WHY CAN'T WE JUST TALK ABOUT JESUS AT CHURCH???????????"

To which he shrugs understandingly, and says "I don't know, Steph."*



I feel like I might get in trouble for this post, and I'm sorry if it offends anyone, but really, Why can't we just talk about Jesus?





*Also, I had an epiphany typing this, something along the lines of "Well, even if people aren't talking about Jesus during Sacrament, the least you could do was THINK about him, instead of judging other people," but the epiphany, while meaningful, didn't prevent me from publishing this post.

Because I still want to hear what you think.


(Play nice.)


**That part was originally a bit unclear. And for further clarification, I'm not necessarily opposed to people being grateful for the blessings America provides, but I do think that the glorification of America, especially when it includes bashing other countries, isn't an appropriate Sacrament meeting topic.

i love my life.

There are a lot of things in this world I do not understand.


For instance, I do not understand the customer who came in yesterday, claimed an employee was rude to her on the phone, claimed that her order was incorrect, proceeded to buy a box of eclairs, and then, when we tried to give her the eclairs for free to compensate for the order kerfuffle, screamed "I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FOR FREE. I JUST WANT TO PAY FOR WHAT I AM GETTING, WHICH IS NOTHINNNNNNNNNNG!

Then, THEN, in a fit of rage she THREW THE ECLAIRS ACROSS THE COUNTER AND INTO THE WALL JUST ABOVE MY HEAD.




Don't worry. I'll wait. Go ahead and read that again. SHE THREW THE ECLAIRS.


The box broke upon impact, and the splattering effect was beautiful.



There are so many things I don't understand about this situation. First off, no one should be so enraged about an incorrect order, just tell us, and we will fix it. Inconvenient, sure. Worth the destruction of a box of eclairs and your dignity? I think not.


How awesome is her battle cry? I JUST WANT TO PAY FOR WHAT I AM GETTING, WHICH IS NOTHINNNNNNNNNNG!


Was this premeditated? Did she buy the eclairs with the intent of hurling them? Or was it a split second mental breakdown? Did I actually witness someone go mad? Which is cooler: Pre-meditated eclair chuckage? Or just going crazy in a busy restaurant?


Is it weird that a part of me wants to sort of be her friend, so that I can analyze her? I mean, seriously, who raised this person? Who raises eclair chuckers?

If she had hit me, could I have pressed charges? Would she have to attend anger management?



So. Many. Thoughts. So. Much. Confusion.


The best part of the evening was getting to go on break early because the whole scene caused me to start giggling uncontrollably, therefore rendering me "unprofessional."


Who needs teaching when your fake-job is this awesome?

an insight into the life of spouseman

"You can't stab me right now! I'm being CUTE AND AFFECTIONATE AND ADORABLE!"












Later, when I told him that I intended to blog his quote, he went silent for a minute, pondered, and shrugged. "It is fairly symbolic of our relationship, you know."

take that, management.

The fake-management would like me to obey employee policy and wear a name tag.

In a throw-the-girl-a-bone move, they said I could use the label-maker all by myself, even! (Wow! Thanks! I must be a big girl.)

So I gave in, and I made one.*


Hi, my name is BestServerEvah, and I'll be your server tonight!












*And when I say "I," I mean "I coerced a younger and more impressionable employee to do it for me. "