It is time to finish the Random 100. So it took me three weeks to do it. I have special needs.

26. We got a new couch. It is from IKEA. We sold our old couch to the government to use as a torture device at Guantanamo Bay. I would post pictures, but that would involve dealing with more technology than I can handle right now. Maybe next time.

25. I am going to steal a phrase from someone and use it. I hope they don't mind. Due to a "random series of events" my blog is suddenly much more "popular" (insert your own euphemism here, if you choose.) Maybe I should make lemonade out of lemons, and by that I mean "Sell my blog to GoogleAds and make money every time one my my new readers visits the site in an attempt to verify something she heard floating about the neighborhood." Just a thought.

24. Thanks to all of the people (family and new readers alike) who still support the blog despite all my social fumblings.

23. Today Dan had- and I'm stealing another phrase here- his Grad School "Suckupathon." 9 interviews all in the psych department at the University of Utah. Apparently, before the U allows you to become their personal slave for six years they must interview you half to death. Small price to pay for the option of making people call you "Dr. Spouseman"

22. I think all the attention is going to Dan's head. When dressing for his interviews, he kept asking me "Does this tie make me look better than everybody else?" "Is this the shirt that says 'I am the best candidate possible?' " I did not tell him that the pants he was wearing are the pants that scream out to his old-lady professors "Pinch my bum!" That is his own problem.

21. How To Loose a Guy in 10 Days is a pretty lameish movie. But I watched it anyways today, and despite the lameness, I am inclined to send it to some of the girls I see around town. Like the one who makes her boyfriend accompany her on shopping trips solely so he can hold her clothes and tell her how pretty she is. (I went to the Gateway after watching the movie)

20. Twenty is the age I was married at. I was still a little irked about getting married so young, and I kept telling myself "At leas I'm not 19. At least I'm not 19" over and over again in my head.

19. Nineteen was how old I was when I went on Study Abroad to England. Then I came home and met Dan. Nineteen was a good year.

18. The first time I met Dan was at an ice blocking activity. He landed on me after our ice blocking train crashed. The first time he landed on top of me was an accident. The second time was not. The third time I landed on him. Thus it began.

17. My college diploma came in the mail the other day. I was very relieved. Even though I knew I had fulfilled all of the requirements, I kept waiting for the U to call and say "JUST KIDDING! YOU MUST TAKE ANOTHER ASIAN GENDER STUDIES CLASS!!!!!" Now that I have the diploma, I feel like I got away with something sneaky.

16. I graduated with a B.A. in History, with a minor in English Literature. I have no marketable skills, but I can tell you all about the impact of World War One on modern art and literature. Call me and we'll do lunch sometime....

15. Because I was a History major, and because I favor literature from the early 20th century, the majority of people I count as close friends are already dead. Me and Virginia Woolf are BFF. I am also good friends with Wilfred Owen, Stanley Spencer, and Henry VIII.

14. Dan is all worn out from being so important. He wants me to watch Transformers with him. He would also like me to "skip some parts." Which means "make out." Apparently "subtle" is not an important concept taught in Grad School.

13. I think he has already fallen asleep, though, poor little important muffin.

12. I call everyone muffin. Students, former co-workers, siblings, animals..... all of them muffins.

11. I used to just refer to unfamiliar things like this "Hey you! Girl! Boy over there! Creature!" Muffin just seems nicer.

10. Obviously, social skills are another thing they don't teach you in college.

9. I am running out of things to say. When at a loss for words....

8. Talk about politics! Everyone rejoice, because I have finally stopped carrying a torch for Hillary Clinton. I've been an ardent Obama fan forever, but I've always stated that "I didn't mind Hillary." I mind Hillary, and I will explain the reasons later when I'm not trying to finish this list.

7. Dan is beyond asleep. He might be dead.

6. The University of Utah ate my baby....(husband)

5. Now who is going to buy me candy?

4. And order food for me at restaurants so that I don't have to talk to any unnecessary people?

3. He wiggled. He's alive.

2. Or Rigor Mortis is already setting in....

1. I did it.

0. Spell check is fixed!


James McOmber said...

L-0-L-0-L @ #18.

Lena said...

Yay for spell check! That was a good ending. Poor Dan and his wearing out at the U. I hope he did well! I can't wait to hear the one about Hilary.

Sarah said...

Thanks for citing your sources.

JustMe said...

I didn't know you were a history manager - for some reason I thought you were an english major. What are you planning to do with a masters in history? Is it too late for me to go to school and major in history (bear in mind that I aging rapidly by the day? If I major in history can I just go places and see what I want to see? I think I would have enjoyed teaching history but its too flipping late now. I work full-time and must be in bed by 9:00 or I'm worthless the next day. Actually, I'm pretty much worthless even if I was in bed by 9:00.