Some Brief Observations about Churchill Junior High.

1. The overwhelmingly ubiquitious presence of merchandise from Abercrombie and Hollister. I saw little bird and moose logos on nearly every bag, polo, sock, and thong adorning these little thirteen year old bodies. Are churchill students banned from wearing clothing that is not 3 times more expensive than it needs to be?

2. The large number of moms wearing the same Abercrombie and Hollister tee shirts as their daughters. I guess forty dollars isn't such a bad price for a graphic tee if two people are going to wear them.

3. The absurd phenonmeon of girls walking through the January snow in five inch open toe heels and sheer white miniskirts.) Their little skinny prepubescents legs bowed inward as they hobbled. If a prostitute and a giraffe ever mated, they would look like a Churchill student.

4. I surprised myself by getting all indignant after watching the eighth grade dance class rehearse a number set to a wrap song. I nearly lost it when girls who were playing jump rope at recess less than 2 years ago choregraphed a dance that simulated having sex with their dance partners.

5. While trying to take roll, I got all depressed about what a hard-a$*I am starting to sound like. I don't want to be that teacher who all the kids hate. But when it takes me twenty minutes to take roll because I have to physically stop a student from climbing out the window, you better believe I am going to lay into you.

6. Thinking that if one more student tells me they are misbehaving because they have ADD and forgot to take their pills, I am going to have to get a perscription for some very strong medicine of my own.....

7. Three Words- Awful. Mormon. Names. Perfectly good names ruined by ridiculous spelling, or just freakish names that never need to be used again. i.e.


Mackensie (I hate all the wierd variations of the "Mac" names)

Nikole (ok)

Katelynn (bad)

Kortnee (completely unacceptable)




Charissa (pronounced like Clarissa)

Jozey (Josie)

and my two favorites-

Majik (pronounced like magic)

and Zenn ( honestly.)


Jessica said...

That's why I'm naming my kids Bill, Fred, and Jane.

Nik "the BoyWonder" said...

I had a friend named Zean going up. He what chinese so that was ok. But I agree some parents need to be shot because of there stupid names

Lena said...

I hate names like that too. Also, most of the names that can be both genders. Mainly Stacey. That is only a girls name, I'm sorry. The more you say about this sub stuff, the more I am repulsed by it. I think I will stick with my cushy bank job.

James McOmber said...

I actually saw the giraffe and the prostitute mating at the zoo.

The Boob Nazi said...

I like Kaden as a name. But I just want to call him "Kade." I know, I'm a terrible person.