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2/21/08

Teaching...

I am giving a little spieley on Tuesday at Olympus High School detailing the process behind becoming a High School Teacher. Here are the basic steps I've come up with so far.

1. Tell yourself that material wealth is totally over-rated. Convince yourself that you never wanted that yacht anyways, because you are not gonna get it with your teacher's salary.

2. If you really want that yacht, consider investing....in lottery tickets.

3. Attend 4 years of school with a grueling workload of memorizing "Education Pedagogies" that you will never, ever, use in real life. Spend extra time in school getting a minor, because odds are the subject you want to teach will be full when your graduate. You'll probably end up teaching your minor....

4. Consider getting a Master's Degree. Ostensibly because you will get paid more. Consider the fact that you will be spending that extra income paying off the Master's Degree. Hmmmm. Conundrums....

5. Become a waitress. The skills you develop for dealing with nasty customers are the same skills you will use when dealing with parents who can't believe you are giving their precious little baby, angel of light and perfection, a "C."

6. Marry rich. Just Kidding.

7. Find a rich relative. Become friends. Kill him. (Kind of kidding.)


That is all I have developed thus far. I'm sure I will be inspiring next Tuesday. And if you see a bunch of student's exiting Olympus High's Art Space looking traumatized, I had nothing to do with it....

1 comment:

Lena said...

Hmmm...teaching...I like my sanity too much. Good luck though!