I am in Limbo. Which is supposed to be less bad than hell. But I disagree.

In ninth grade out tyrannical Honors English teacher, Mr. Gill, forced us to learn a vocabulary list every week. There was a test every Friday, and if you got 100% on all the tests, you didn't have to take the big composite test at the end of the term. I know of only a few people who accomplished this, and I sort of still hate them for it.

Acquiesce, cacophony, and ennui. Those are the words I remember 7 years later. I am going to get all metaphysical and explain why I remember these words.

Acquiesce. Because I am always saying yes, albeit reluctantly, to things I do not want to do. From agreeing to stay one more week at an awful job, to saying sorry for things I am not sorry for, I am always acquiescing.

Cacophony. What I cause when I write things on this blog that I shouldn't have written (I always protest, but it's true. And I am learning that even if it is true, it is sometimes not a good idea to write it down. ) I cause the cacophony and then I acquiesce to apologizing.

Ennui. What I am feeling right now. That awful boredom that comes from having all sorts of uninteresting things to do, but nothing worth writing about. For instance, I really ought to clean out my car. Riveting.

It also comes from being in waiting Limbo. Waiting Waiting Waiting.

Waiting to start grad school.

Waiting for our taxes to be done so I can apply for FAFSA and actually GO to Grad School. (I have a month and a half to convince the government to give/loan me thousands of dollars. And I need that all important tax return to do it.)

Waiting for my PRAXIS II study book to come so I won't fail the PRAXIS and can thus graduate from Grad School. (My program is slightly odd. No test to get in, but a big test to graduate.)

Waiting to get called by Sub Finder to see what gosh-awful west side school I will be enduring tomorrow.

Ugh. Limbo. Maybe I should go clean out my car.


mommy dearest said...

are we east side elitist? you inherited that from your other parent.

Lena said...

Poor, poor Steph. Hope you go to hell soon, and are put out of your limbo misery.

abby. said...

Sorry to comment on this three years later....but I was skimming your blog and I totally recognized these vocab words. And Mr. Gill. He was my English teacher too. 9th grade honors? WEIRD. I also remember "capricious" and "tortuous." Every time I say/write them, I think of Gill.

Love your blog, by the way.