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5/28/08

grad school quotes/ me being a meanie-poo

I read/heard some fabulous things in grad school today.

"It is fine if the government wants to tell poor kids to 'pull themselves up by their bootstraps'(pause,) But they've got to give them boots first."

"One of the most greatly popularized notions in this society is that the poor don't know what they are missing."

"The greatest indicator of high test scores is family income. If you want higher test scores, get your kid born into a wealthier family."

I could make an argument that one of the best parts about being a liberal is that your cohorts make such clever and scaldingly funny comments when calling for educational reform. (get your kid born into a wealthier family, love it.) All while our lovely president is mispronouncing "nuclear" and calling himself "the decider." But then someone would send me a tape of Michael Moore making fart sounds with his armpit, and my argument would be defunct. So I won't.

Instead, I believe it is time for another edict to my fellow Mormon Child Bride bloggers.

Dear MCBs,

Please stop talking like a child while writing in your blog. Stop using one word sentences like "YUMMY!" to describe ALL your meals. It makes me suspect that your husband had to pretend that the spoon was an airplane to get you to eat. Please stop adding "ie" or "y" to the names of your significant others. If he didn't grow up being called "Dannie poo" your recent marriage is not the time to implement that practice.

Furthermore, please stop infantilizing your husband with excessive use of the words "adorable" or "cutie." A few times is acceptable, husbands, like puppies, are often adorable. But when overused, I must wonder if you wed a 9 month old baby with huge thighs- since that is my personal definition of an "adorable cutie."

Lastly, a quick reminder. You may only randomly insert "I/we are so blessed" into a post two times. All other times require some form of explanation of the blessedness.

Thanks guys!

7 comments:

Jessica said...

Spence and I are scouting out wealthy families right now. Our kids are gonna be so smart!

mommy dearest said...

Dearest, have you seen the lastest newsweek article "The Dumbest Generation? Don't be Dumb." I beg all to converse without using the words "like, awesome, or absolutely."

Lena said...

Hey, Mommy Dearest! I use the words "like, awesome and absolutely" everyday and I count myself among those with a higher vocabulary. You should go to a high school and say that.

Steph, I seriously think you are my hero. Keep me posted with these fun tidbits of your real education.

bonz said...

Hi Stephie-poo! UR so funny! I am sooo blessed to have your blog in my life!!! ;O) Love ya! INVU4URanadorableQT!!!

Nik "the BoyWonder" said...

I am so Blessed to know you steph!

Mar said...

Totally awesome adorable postie! Thank you for ripping yummy...ugh.

AzĂșcar said...

Funny, I remember from Econ 110 that the single biggest predictor of the lifetime success of a child is how educated the mother is.

So...roll that up and smoke it.