Unsolved Mysteries...

Unsolved Mystery 1:

Two weeks ago, my husband made two tarts. From scratch. Both sent my females relatives into fits bordering on inappropriate. Forget cake. These were better-than-sex-tarts.

Last week, as I was leaving for class, I saw husband pull out a box of brownie mix. I returned home to kitchen smelling deliciously chocolatey, and I was once again pleased that I decided to marry someone with such excellent culinary skills.

When I arrived home, I dug into the pan of brownies, and took a bite.

And spit it out. The brownie tasted like a chocolate covered bouncy ball. To test my theory, I cut another, and threw it on the counter.

It bounced. Repeatedly.

How is it that my husband, of orgasm tart fame cannot make a batch of box brownies?

Mystery 2

Previous to beginning school, I sub taught for Granite School District. This was a dark era in my life and I generally prefer not to talk about. However, I do remember that I was capable of standing in front of my students, and teaching a lesson.

I am also quite capable of giving talks in my ward of 500 people.

Why, oh why then, can I not give a simple presentation in front of my classmates without totally loosing my sh*t?

Mystery 3

Where has my capacity for writing 8 page papers in 2 hours gone? Where? I need that skill!


AzĂșcar said...

Speaking as a make-it-from-scratcher, I have to defend your husband: one is only as good as the ingredients with which you can work.

Box brownies?


Lena said...

I make everything from a box or pouch. Cakes, potatoes, children. Sorry Dan can't mamage that. I just had to stand up in front of my whole company in an old fashioned swim suit telling corney fish jokes. So there.

Katie said...

Ha, grad school did the same thing to me. I used to be able to talk intelligently (well, I'd like to think I could). Then in my first semester I lost my sh*t multiple times in front of my class. To the point where I just stopped talking in the middle of it because it was such a train wreck.

It got better my second semester, sort of.

But I used to be able to whip out 20 page papers in 2 days too...and that ability is on hiatus. I refuse to believe I lost it.

Jessica said...

I think you did a good job on your presentation :) Better than I did, anyway. And I wish I could remember how to write an 8-page paper in 2 hours too. Uggh. I love your blog. Hope you don't mind me stalking.

Mar said...

I am so glad that the brownies story ended in disaster because I would have been perturbed if you had only blogged about how wonderful his orgasm tarts were and then ended it with how fantastic/smart/cute/funny your husband is. Good to know there are some normals out there and that not everybody is perfect.

Natalie said...

Seriously, you are so blessed to have a normal, imperfect life.

Jessica said...

I've got to try one of those tarts.

Nik "the BoyWonder" said...

I can make grilled cheese :)

Nemesis said...

Need to use this post as an example of why we do, in fact, need a tart pan.

Hah. Thanks.

Brammer Family said...

We want the tarts at the next get-together!!!

Tarts Tarts Tarts!!!

Nemesis said...

Yes, please send the recipe! My address is miss.nem at With this recipe I will make the doubters feel the shame. The tasty, tasty shame.