Since you have been gone, serving the Lord, and I have been living in your home, I have-
not killed any plants.
except one, but it doesn't count.* And no, it wasn't your African Violet who you claim has a personality. The African Violet is fine.
not killed your fish.
not snuck into the "forbidden" part of your house, and broken into your jet tub. (it's been to hot, anyways,)
I hope this makes up for the fact that I regularly haul all the dishes upstairs and use the Forbidden Dishwasher, which necessitates me being in the Forbidden part of the house. (but so are lots of your plants that I must water! So you see, grandma, I'm in a Catch-22!)
I also deleted my facebook account a few months ago. Not because you said it was against our religion, and satanic, but even so, it's DELETED.
Hope you are well.
*Not my fault, that plant was on the porch, where it ought to have been getting sprinkler water. The sprinklers failed, NOT ME.