dear grandma,

Since you have been gone, serving the Lord, and I have been living in your home, I have-

not killed any plants.
except one, but it doesn't count.* And no, it wasn't your African Violet who you claim has a personality. The African Violet is fine.

not killed your fish.

not snuck into the "forbidden" part of your house, and broken into your jet tub. (it's been to hot, anyways,)

I hope this makes up for the fact that I regularly haul all the dishes upstairs and use the Forbidden Dishwasher, which necessitates me being in the Forbidden part of the house. (but so are lots of your plants that I must water! So you see, grandma, I'm in a Catch-22!)

I also deleted my facebook account a few months ago. Not because you said it was against our religion, and satanic, but even so, it's DELETED.

Hope you are well.

Love, Stephanie.

*Not my fault, that plant was on the porch, where it ought to have been getting sprinkler water. The sprinklers failed, NOT ME.


Lena said...

Why would you delete your facebook account? Now how are long lost friends going to find you?

Spencer said...

Are there really forbidden areas? Does your grandma think you and Dan would trash the place otherwise?