A few random things-

1. While I was gone on vacation I assigned my family, who live, ohhh a whopping FOUR minutes away, the duties of Picking Up the Mail, and Feeding the Fish. Although they did collect the mail, no one ever fed the fish. Even though it was conveniently located UPSTAIRS ON THE COUNTER. I had placed it up there (even though it is in a forbidden area) so my lazy butt kin wouldn't have to WALK DOWN THE STAIRS to feed el fisho.

Fish died. Which really wasn't that big a deal, except when I would call to make sure the house was fine, and to see if my FAFSA award letter* had come yet, they always told me that FISH IS FINE, EVERYTHING IS FINE blah blah blah. Apparently, fine=dead in the N________ household.

Even better, when I arrived home I was greeted by an Imposter Fish, which looks nothing like Original Fish, in fact it looks like a Chernobyl fish because it is all lopsided and likes to swim upside down all day. Family apparently thought I wouldn't notice.

Dear Family,

I have ADD, not poor vision.

2. We had a little party spiel a few days ago, and I still haven't put away all the paper plates/plastic utensils that were used at said party. Instead, I have been using them as regular dishes because I can't be bothered to haul all the dirty dishes upstairs to the forbidden dishwasher. So I'll just keep Killing The Earth until they run out. Or Something. **

3. I start school again tomorrow, which means I will finally have an excuse (besides laziness) to not do the dishes.

*It hadn't. Because my FAFSA stuff was lost, of course.

**I can tell that this sort of bugs Spouseman, but he hasn't said anything out loud yet. So it doesn't count.


Nik "the BoyWonder" said...

I have ADD, not poor vision.

that made me laugh out loud...people at work looked at me funny...thanks for the moment Steph!

Mar said...

I can see your family trying to pull a fast one with the stand in fishy and I laugh out loud!

Lena said...

Hilarious! Except for the fish part. Or fish has been close to death for so long now, that it is almost harder to watch him stand vertically on his tail fin than it would be to find him dead one morning. Funny about lopsided fish. I am totally on your side with the paper dishes. I have paper bowls and plates to use when I am not feeling up to doing the dishes that week.

Spencer said...

Love the fish story. Sorry for your loss. You should try one of those 3-7 day feeders next time. I do not know how well they work. Jess and I used one once before, but I am not sure it worked. The feeder looked untouched. The fish survived though.

Jessica said...

As you may know, Spencer and I have been the parents of fish for about 8 months now. We would be happy to look after your fish the next time you go out of town. We're highly qualified.

Lindsey said...

i miss working with you steph...by the way, your freakonomics book is at my house...sorry i didn't take it back sooner!

bonz said...

those bastards.