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9/30/08

this is my philosophy, yeah, got my feet on the groooouuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnddddddddd.....

So I'm going to tell you a story. Once upon a time, my mom did something slightly airheaded. I don't remember what, it was a long time ago. She felt very badly about whatever it was though, because my little brother, who was only 8 at the time, tried to comfort her by saying "Don't worry Mom, I think you are the smartest mom in the whole ward." To my little brother, our ward was his whole world, and my mother was the queen.

It was funny, to my mom, and to the rest of us, and the phrase "smartest _______ in the ward," became sort of a running joke in the Nielson home. For instance, when anyone would do something stupid, they would be lovingly mocked with a hearty, "Gee, I would have expected better from the smartest Mia Maid/deacon/Scout Master in the whole WARD."

And that is how we became "the smartest family in the ward." It is a joke. The Tidwells are waaaaay smarter. So are the Jensens.

My mother has asked me to take that bit down out of my "About me" because apparently someone took it seriously, and asked her if she really thought she had raised the smartest family in the ward. It was awkward for her, apparently.


Around the same time, I got a nasty comment in my inbox telling me what a terrible person I am, how I am not doing my part with this blog to spread the gospel, how my grammar sucks, how another blog out there is using my blog to write satire (that bit I found hilarious, on oh-so-many levels, but I digress) and that I should stop mentioning grad school even though, hey, GRAD SCHOOL IS WHAT I DO and anyway, it was a very long and well thought out little way to ruin my day.

Oh wait, I'm not supposed to admit that it really hurt my feelings. I'm supposed to pretend that nasty comments don't bother me, that being told I suck doesn't sting, and that I am just so far above that sort of nonsense. I'm not. It hurt my feelings. A lot. I feel immature admitting it, but it's true. So thanks, commenter person, I'm sure you were doing your best to follow Elder Ballard's idea of using the internet to share the gospel when you wrote that.

The thing is, I think this person was taking the blog known as Mormon Child Bride a little too seriously. This isn't a serious blog. Sometimes I might talk about something more serious, but I always warn people, and hey, you don't have to read what you don't like.

But mostly, I'm just joking. I joke about MCBs because I am one. Sometimes I talk like an infant, and I hate myself for it. My husband, gulp, spoils me even though I don't think grown ups should be in charge of spoiling other grown ups. I don't spend the same time checking for a typo on the blog as I would a research paper. Maybe I should, but I don't. Bummer.

So in the future, let us remember a few ground rules.

-My family is probably only the 3rd smartest in the ward.

-Leaving mean comments is rude. Don't. Unless you could read your comment, including all your sarcastic jabs and CAPS LOCKED rantings, to me, in person, don't write it. Disagree all you want, but just because it is on the internet, doesn't mean you have a get out of being mean free card.

-If my poor spellin n gramma skillz is stressin you all out, go read a dictionary.

THE END

28 comments:

Nicole said...

Stephanie,

Someone in my ward (with whom I had never had a single conversation) started leaving comments on my blog about what an idiot I was for supporting Obama, and I ended up being so hurt by it that I wrote a whole response post which ended with "Go to Hell".
My point was the same as yours -- just because I have posted something on the internet doesn't mean all common decency goes out the window. Especially not on a little blog like mine. If I had ads and hundreds of hits a day, I might have to grow a thicker skin, but since it's mostly a small group I still expect people to have manners.
Like you said, if you don't like what someone is writing about then QUIT READING. There are a bazillion places on the internet, and odds are you will find a while group of people who agree with you if you look for 9 seconds.
Some people are just jerks.

Annette Lyon said...

This is just sad. I personally love your blog (and heck, I was a MCB myself!).

It would be helpful if some people learned when a writer's tongue is clearly implanted in their cheek. :)

Danielle said...

I'm not a MCB and I LOVE your blog!! So funny and refreshing! Keep it up Steph!

Valerie said...

Is 20 too young to be a MCB? If not, I'm in the club too, although ten years down the road. I love your blog and think you're hilarious. Keep it up!

Kimbooly said...

To be honest, I loved your "smartest in the ward" comment in your profile. I think it's funny and clever, and love hearing the background on it.

Whenever you read any hate mail, remember you have some loyal lurkers who think you are witty, and who enjoy your satire, even if maybe we don't necessarily agree with every single post. (And when do we get a link to the site that satires your satire?)

I clicked on your blog *because* of the title, I'm always curious to see what's behind catchy titles. I laughed when you explained how young you yourself got married, even though it puts you in the MCB statistics.

I was SO sure I was going to go on a mission and not run off and get a quick M.R.S. degree at Ricks or BYU, and then was going to come back, finish my schooling, and look toward marriage at the ripe old age of 25ish. But then I met my husband and it was right, and I was married two months shy of 20, a fact I always put in there because I'm afraid of being lumped with all the kids who are engaged in two months and married in 6 months of having met each other, gals being 18 or 19 (when, in truth, I was only 19 when I married).

Keep up your witty, humorous posts. Those who miss the humor are missing out.

And a blog is meant to be a place to post what you want, when you want. You are not required to preach the gospel in every post. I have felt that throughout your blog you have born testimony of gospel principles when the occasion is right. I appreciate comments abt. Dumbledore and treating gay people with kindness, dignity, and respecting people's contributions and wisdom regardless of their sexual orientation, and your references to the recent Ensign article about being christlike, and about being able to be worthy of all blessings of the gospel.

I also read your thoughtful comments about the Mothers that Know talk that really upset you and a lot of other people, and why it upset you, and what your mom's response was. Even though I personally got out of the talk what your mom thought the talk should have been about, I could see both of your sincerety in understanding our true individual worth as daughters of God, and not pushing things that aren't necessarily for every lady. I respected your opinions and pondered your side, and appreciated your testimony about eternal truths that you understand about our divine role as women of God (and all women, for that matter).

And though you were complaining about old church materials in a lesson you prepared, you clarified what it was you had a problem with, like a boy only missing his mom's cooking, or the lesson focusing on tactile homemaking skills instead of personal development and character growth as a woman, wife, mother, friend. Your clarification showed great testimony in my opinion.

So please don't feel bad about that. When you feel like bearing your testimony or discussing principles, you will, and when you feel like being sarcastic or writing letters to two-timing education institutions, you will.

And what's up with someone wanting you to back off of mentioning grad school stuff? It's your blog, and that's what you're in the middle of, and I'm proud of you for it. My sister justed started grad work in Iowa for her history major (you two would get along great I think), while her husband finishes getting his P, H, & D (ha ha, get it, like a Dr. Seuss book, "How I got my P, H, & D") in political science.

Ok, ok, I know I'm the longest commenter ever. I'll go now. But if you get down, go read my other forever long post on the day that I spent hours reading every single one of your posts because they were good enough and funny enough to keep my attention and intrigue me to keep going back into your archives.

Sue said...

Four Facts:

1) You are clever.
2) Your blog is clever.
3) There are a LOT of people who have no sense of humor.
4) They are still allowed to use the internet, which seems wrong on many levels, doesn't it? Ick.

I'm really sorry that happened. I hate it when real life and blog life collide in gross ways.

Lisa Louise said...

bravo steep. That person is unbelievable and a total coward. I personally thnk ur spellin rox.

Shar said...

I came here from Mormon Mommy Blogs. You are funny. Your post cracked me up.

And the person that wrote the mean nasty comment was probably anonymous. I hate anonymity. It is so cowardly.

And I'm just going to go ahead and name my family as the smartest family in our ward. Only because we're not in the same ward and I wouldn't want to steal your family's title.

And I don't mean to one-up you, but someone that hated my blog went to my BISHOP anonymously to tell him what a horrible person I was. But now he reads my blog and I think he's a fan. So "anonymous" can suck rocks and go to hell.

Nemesis said...

Okay, whoever wrote that email to you is just nasty. I'm pretty sure Elder Ballard didn't intend for us to head out on the Interwebs in the form of arse-dwelling blog trolls, PERSON.

I know the criticism sucks, but your blog is lovely and hilarious and YOU are lovely and hilarious. From the little you told about this nasty person's email, you probably don't have to worry about giving his/her opinions too much credence.

JustMe said...

Face it - some people have no sense of humor. Of course, EVERYONE thinks they have a sense of humor.

I am not threatened at all by the fact that your family is the smartest one in the ward. My family is the best looking family in the ward so it all works out in the end.

You aren't asking that everyone agree with you, you're just asking that we "play nice". I have disagreed with you more than once but I did so nicely and you responded in kind.

There are LOTS of stupid people in the world. Just be thankful you're not in my daughter-in-law's ward where the RS teacher said that it wasn't important to vote. Yep - my DIL called her on that one.

Kristine and Ryan said...

That's a bummer steep. Don't let the bitter attention starved people get you down.

Keli said...

I just started reading your blog, and I love it. You are hitting the nail right on the head with the whole, "it's my blog, and I can say what I want, and use crappy grammar if I want" thing. Good for you. Keep it up. And if being yourself, and being able to laugh at life and circumstances isn't sharing our Gospel, than what exactly is? Preaching? That's gets you nowhere fast.

Kalli Ko said...

haters to the left

I find you hilarious, and brutally honest. My two favorite qualities.

Steven and Wendy OBryant said...

oh stephanie... without your blog my days at work would be death like. I love it! And I love you!

Justin & Kamie said...

Hey-

I found your blog a couple months ago and just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy your sarcasm.

I too have had mean comments left about me. I blogged about them here: http://undomesticicequeens.blogspot.com/2008/02/fun-hate-mail.html

One of the commenters was actually my brother in law, that made for some AWESOME sunday dinners around the table. Yup.

People who leave mean comments suck. BUT, know that there are lots of other people out there who read your blog and even if they don't agree with you, can chuckle and enjoy a good post.

Keep it up!

-Kamie

Lena said...

You tell'em MCB! Some people think that just because its on the Net, its up for picking apart. Jerks! I mock just as much as the next guy, but I have never gone so far as to put my mean thoughts to paper (or email). I agree with Nicole, if you don't like it, don't read it.

Brammer Family said...

:)

Brammer Family said...

:)

Sarah holman said...

I love your blog. Don't change, and I am way sorry about mean people. They suck!

Mrs. Clark said...

I agree that some people take leave of their manners (and their senses) when they respond to blogs. Shame on them! And shame on anyone who doesn't get your humor.

Keep up the good work. I love your blog! I think you write great stuff.

Paige said...

So I totally needed to hear that. I recently got totally bashed on my blog by "anonymous" people saying really mean things to me because they didn't get a little piece of satire. Unfortunately, it also really hurt my feelings. I ended up going private because of it (which isn't as fun, by the way...). Anyway, I'm glad I'm not the only one who's had this problem. And, I'm totally inspired that you didn't stop being yourself just cause some people don't get it. Way to go. I'm feeling better already. :)

Brandon said...

You shouldn't have to defend yourself, your wit, your beliefs, your identy to anyone. If they can't take a joke then ____ them!

BTW...I've been debating back and forth about asking this question, but I am just too curious. Did you ever get my email? You never responded which made me feel bad about my story, so now I feel trapped in the limbo of "does she think I'm a jerk for what I said/did" or "did she just not receive my e-mail?" Either way, I would like to know.

How is Grad School going?

Nikki said...

I found your blog on Mormon Mommy Blogs - of course the title intrigued me.
I love this post... all the way to the end... WHEN I LAUGHED OUT LOUD at the "go read a dictionary" comment.
hysterical
great post

~j. said...

Azucar directed me to your blog a while ago, and I do so adore your posts.

Sorry you've had to endure people being mean.

bonz said...

how i love you.

Amy C said...

Just found your blog, reading and reading it now and think that you're really funny. How rude that you got such a negative comment. Some people don't have a sense of humor. They have other qualities, though, like helping people understand what they should be writing about on their blogs. I'm feeling the "unity" already. See, there's good in everyone. ;)

Melissapher said...

AMEN!

A few people have been offended a couple of times by my blog; 1. the baby crib 2. the meringue cookie post 3. Prop 8. It sucks every time I hear someone criticize my blog.

I'm sorry you got hate mail for it. Why do there have to be so many trolls out there to ruin the fun for the rest of us?

Maree said...

I just LOVE you! No, not in a sick way. I don't even know you! I stumbled upon your blog and don't remember how I found it, but I loved your title. You're funny and witty, and I have really enjoyed your stories and letters to laptops. So just keep deleting the grumpy old fart's nasty comments and keep writing!

BTW, I did my final student teaching at a high school, and I was carded each time I tried to leave campus--because I looked like a student. I even had one of my students (a senior) PROPOSE to me: "Miss G, would you marry me, so I can get a social security number (or green card, I forget) and go to City College?" Tempting, but no. I also taught Middle School for 7 years, and I can tell you that one must be marginally insane to do such a thing. But it was fun.

Keep writing! I'm LOVING it! Oh, and be proud of grad school. Lots of people don't go that far. Those who complain are probably just jealous.