I totally rocked at educating.

It's about freaking time.



Whenever I am in a bookstore, or Costco, and I see a book by Ann Coulter, I make a point to turn all the books over. Sometimes, I even hide copies of the book under other books.

I don't do this because she is a Republican, I do this because she is PURE EVIL.


is it friday and 2:10 yet?

Is it? Is it? No. But it needs to be.

This is my first week of full-time teaching, (The last two weeks have been mostly observing and part-time stuff,) and I'm officially going nuts. Being utterly sleep deprived was bad enough, but now I'm all filled with anxiety. Anxiety along the lines of WHAT IF I SUCK AT THIS. OH MY GOSH.

My schedule is as follows:

6:05. Wake up. Curse. Try not to kill spouse. (not because he did anything wrong, but because he is there and BREATHING at me and it is morning.)

7:15-2:10. Attempt to educate students.

2:10-9:00. Deal with conflicting emotions about major life choice-

(to self)

I'm a decent almost-teacher. NO. AM NOT. SUCK A LOT. I'm new at this, It's okay to make mistakes, just keep trying. GIVE UP NOW. FAKE PREGNANCY AS AN EXCUSE TO DROP OUT OF PROGRAM. No, don't you are fine, your lesson on nature versus nurture in Lord of the Flies actually went really well.


Sometimes during the day, when I need a mental break, I play a game. I call it TO REPORT OR NOT TO REPORT: THINGS I WISH I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT MY STUDENTS.

And the nominees are:

1. In his "getting to know you" paper, my student listed "smoking pot and getting high" as one of his favorite pastimes.

2. One student threatened another student in the following manner: "Dude, for along time, you could, like, totally kill a Mormon in Missouri. It isn't true anymore, but if it was, I'd totally drag your ass to Missouri and kick your ass."

3. "My boyfriend and I both have independent study 3rd period. Is that enough time to go home and do it?* He can be late for fourth, but I can't, because I have Mrs. Holmes."


* yes. what you think "it" is.


oh yes we did


additionally, my sister is better than yours.

There are a few things we all just have to accept in life. One, is that my brother is the best and better than yours. I already discussed this fact here.

But I now need to tell you that not only is my brother better than yours, but my sister is better than your sister.

If you are inclined to doubt me, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Did your younger sister come over to your house one lonely Thursday night, watch Pride and Prejudice, inhale chocolate milk, and eat Cafe Rio with you?

2. After the movie was over, did she start obsessive compulsively folding your clean laundry?

3. After that, did she offer to help you clean out and organize your closet?

4. After your closet was organized, did she help you do a week's worth of dishes?

5. And after that, did she vacuum your house until the wimpy vacuum cleaner overheated and refused to vacuum any longer?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, your sister might be better than everyone else's. But she probably didn't, and mine did, so I win.


Here is a photo of Grace digging a huge hole (which she used to capture a random infant) at the beach. For those of you who needed a visual.



Ever since Dan's family gifted me with season 1 of The West Wing, *I have been spending all of my spare time (and copious amounts of less-than-spare time,) watching CJ Cregg, well, frankly, kick ass and be awesome.

Occasionally, while I watch, I make feeble attempts at muddling through all the junk Westminster is making me do in order to graduate.

This has led me to the following realization.

I have been in Grad School for the past 8 months.

I have been watching West Wing for the past 3 weeks.

It is highly likely that I have learned more from the latter.

*This is not my first foray into West Wing, but it's a classic and I'm very happy to own a season now.



I hate Dentists.

I hate Dentists.

I hate Dentists.

My teeth are bleeding, I think.


bad blogger.

I feel like I've been a bad blogger lately. Sorry. Sorryish. It's already January 9 and I never blogged about Christmas Day, What My Husband Got Me, or Pictures of My Decorations. But I'm sure you are all fine because every other Mormon Child Bride blogger has already filled that gaping hole in your life. That's also the reason I never posted about Things I'm Grateful For in November, or posted a picture of fall foliage and pumpkins in October to express my Love For Autumn.

Blogging should be like basic economics. Supply and Demand. The supply for all those blog subjects was more than adequately addressed, so I don't need to. No more Demand.

That means I won't be posting about What Swimsuit Should I Get in the Spring, or, I'm So Glad It's Flip-Flop Season in the Summer, either. *

Anyway, I've been neglectful because I started student-teaching last Monday, and thus I have only this to say:

Oh my freaking gosh. High School starts early. I didn't realize how early 7:25 is until I realized how early I have to wake up in order to get to school at 7 freakin' 25. My body is so angry and confused at me that it forced me to throw up twice this week. For NO REASON. Except my body is pissed.** And now sleep-deprived.

And I think I am going to bed now. That's right. I'm considering bed at 5:19 on a Friday night. Don't call me.

That is all.

*Don't get mad, I'm sure if you blogged about these things, you did it in a totally unique and original way.

**Pissed. Not pregnant. I know what you were thinking, and stop it.


new years

I do not do New Years resolutions. I mean that both ways. I do not make a list of resolutions, and therefore, I do not do anything on that non-existent list.

Why do I not make a list of goals intended to better myself? Because I know myself. I know that if I were to sit down each January and compile a list of things I ought to improve, I would,

1. Get depressed and feel like a failure. Unnecessarily, mind you.

2. Forget about the list the next day.

3. Find the list again later, feel guilty, throw the list away.

4. Never accomplish anything.

Because frankly, if I'm going to do something, and that's a pretty heady if, I'm going to do it because I want to, not because some ball dropped in Times Square.

However, I do like this idea, stolen gratuitously from Nemesis. Instead of a list of things to do, I shall compile a list of things I will not do. Much easier. Much less guilt. (Although I may steal the first of Nemesis' proposed resolutions, but call it a life goal instead.)

10 things I will NOT do in 2009. REPEAT REPEAT: NOT DO IN 2009. NOT. DO.

1. Stop drinking caffeine. Why ever would I stop? You are all aware that public school, in Utah, where I intend to teach, starts at 7:25 AM, correct?

2. Be chipper.

3. Stop snacking late at night. I should. But I won't.

4. Gain weight.

5. Apply for another advanced degree.

6. Edit my blog posts for spelling/grammatical errors in the same way I edit my thesis paper.

7. Get a family pet.

8. Get pregnant. There, I said it.

9. Run a marathon.

10. And while this one may be considered cheating, I will tell you one thing Spouseman will not be doing this year: Spouseman WILL NOT be growing anymore nasty blood clots in his legs which would require him to be hospitalized, ESPECIALLY on our wedding anniversary.

Feel free to share what you aren't doing in 2009.