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1/22/09

is it friday and 2:10 yet?

Is it? Is it? No. But it needs to be.

This is my first week of full-time teaching, (The last two weeks have been mostly observing and part-time stuff,) and I'm officially going nuts. Being utterly sleep deprived was bad enough, but now I'm all filled with anxiety. Anxiety along the lines of WHAT IF I SUCK AT THIS. OH MY GOSH.

My schedule is as follows:

6:05. Wake up. Curse. Try not to kill spouse. (not because he did anything wrong, but because he is there and BREATHING at me and it is morning.)

7:15-2:10. Attempt to educate students.

2:10-9:00. Deal with conflicting emotions about major life choice-

(to self)

I'm a decent almost-teacher. NO. AM NOT. SUCK A LOT. I'm new at this, It's okay to make mistakes, just keep trying. GIVE UP NOW. FAKE PREGNANCY AS AN EXCUSE TO DROP OUT OF PROGRAM. No, don't you are fine, your lesson on nature versus nurture in Lord of the Flies actually went really well.

(repeat)

Sometimes during the day, when I need a mental break, I play a game. I call it TO REPORT OR NOT TO REPORT: THINGS I WISH I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT MY STUDENTS.

And the nominees are:

1. In his "getting to know you" paper, my student listed "smoking pot and getting high" as one of his favorite pastimes.

2. One student threatened another student in the following manner: "Dude, for along time, you could, like, totally kill a Mormon in Missouri. It isn't true anymore, but if it was, I'd totally drag your ass to Missouri and kick your ass."

3. "My boyfriend and I both have independent study 3rd period. Is that enough time to go home and do it?* He can be late for fourth, but I can't, because I have Mrs. Holmes."

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


* yes. what you think "it" is.






24 comments:

bonz said...

Yes, I think that's enough time.

Brammer Family said...

Oh friend, it's time for your date with Diet Coke. :)

Nookleerman said...

That's not all she's going to be late for

-cymbal crash-

I'm sorry, but it's either humor or a scream similar to your own at the insanity of it all.

As for the kid making the death threats, am I wrong for being impressed with his knowledge of LDS history? I guess I'm just a glass half full kind of guy.

Plus, I don't live in Mormon Central, so that's the last thing I'd expect someone to threaten a student with. Well, then again Missouri does suck. So they might just threaten to take them there regardless of their religious beliefs.

Michelle said...

uhm ... kids are growing up way too fast. ... and are a little too open to sharing their favorite hobbies.

i look up to you for your career/life choice ... for i couldn't do it!

Carley A. T. said...

Well, at least your teacher didn't give your teacher didn't give you her unit to "finish" because she was unable to on her own. And then you fall flat on your face and throw your hands up in the air half-way through the day and say, "Screw this, you finish your own damn book."

Yeah, I sort of did that yesterday. I will officially pick up the reigns on Monday, with my own unit. I plan on being mean and really strict. Among other things.

Ugh.

Steven and Wendy OBryant said...

HAHAHA! what is the age of these little rascals?

Mar said...

Oh boy. Other than that, I am speechless.

amelia said...

Ahhh, high school. Or middle school? Eh please don't say elementary school...

Jessica said...

Sounds like you will fit right in with your students! ;)

Lisa Louise said...

oh my heck those can not be real!!! I'm so sorry steep! Maybe it'll be better when it's your own class?

Kimbooly said...

Wow. It's always an eye-opener to really talk to the students.

I still haven't gotten over learning that many of the students in the middle school closest to my Houston home lost their virginity by age 12-13, and most had tried some form of drug by then. It was a hard reality to swallow.

renostar said...

That is hilarious/terrifying. Can't wait!

Lena said...

I agree with Bonz. It is enough time. But on another note, I have some good ways to deal with anxiety if you think you could use them.

amanda said...

sounds like fun... I was hanging out with tiffany w. recently and she was planning out her whole Lord of the Flies unit for her Olympus High English classes. it doesn't feel like it's been very long since we were all in high school, and now you and tiff are teaching Lord of the Flies to students.

where are you student teaching? or can you not tell us?

Julie and Rob said...

Wow, Steph. I don't envy your job! good luck!

By the way, I totally understand the "spouse BREATHIG at you in the morning thing." Rob gets up at 5:30 every momrning cause he's the early morning high school seminary teacher. You'd think that'd HE would be the cranky one for having to wake up that early. But no, it's me who is cranky because he turned the hall light on...

Me and mornings just don't mix. But you already knew that one ( :

The Boob Nazi said...

I feel better about my life choice of doing speech therapy. I only have a kid for 50 minutes. MUCH better than the whole day. I bow down to you and your desire to teach.

The Boob Nazi said...

And btw, I'm on your sidebar twice. Not that I'm not flattered or anything, but people might assume you super stalk me or something haha. Which I would totally support....

Kristen said...

Wow. These kids sound charming. :)

Also, I just have to tell you that I went to Costco today and bought all 7 seasons of West Wing. Yep. ALL. SEVEN. OF. THEM. We might be eating ramen for a month but dammit we'll have our West Wing fix. Thanks for the tip.

VICKI IN AZ said...

For what it's worth, like I said before you would be a great Therapist, might be more fun than this? Good Wishes for all your hard days and I'm sure you are a great teacher.

Whitney and Daniel said...

Steph! I think we officially need a playdate... Why? Because I have those same thoughts every single day. Except I don't have to hear about pot smoking, kicking mormon butt, and teenage it doing... Instead, I have come to realize that I am not at all sensitive. Kids come crying and I say, "Dude... I'd stop crying if I were you or all of your friends will laugh and think you are a whimp." Did I really say that to a second grade boy? Yes, yes I did. Then I realized maybe teaching isn't my thing... maybe I was destined for a job where you can be rude... maybe I should be a bill collector who happens to be a master educator.

Katie said...

First, I am truly disturbed by those kids.

Second, I'm glad I'm not the only one who fantasizes about faking a pregnancy and dropping out of grad school. Only, it might be a bit more awkward for me considering I am not married and I go to BYU.

So...yeah. That's all I've got for now.

Mrs. Clark said...

Oh. My. Gosh.

And this is in a more-or-less LDS community?

So much for my friends lamenting that they have to raise their kids in heathen Northern Virginia.

But, you know, I'd be canned, because I'd tell the girl that she shouldn't be "doing it" and I'd tip off the pothead's parents. I'm prissy that way.

JustMe said...

Steph - you should count your blessing (name them one by one). My daughter-in-law who is a 10th grade English teacher in north Georgia, has students who list their favorite activity as "muddin". Actually, the word is MUDDING, but here in the south we like to drop the G. I think the student really said, “I like to get drunk and go muddin”

Also, I’m pretty sure you are having such a hard time with student teaching because you feel really guilty. I suggest you go back to every bookstore you have ever visited and make a very prominent display of Ann Coulter books. On then will you be ready to get on with your life

Maree said...

Hang in there! It's MUCH easier when you're getting paid to be the teacher and you actually "own" the class. It COULD be worse...you could start your "on your own" student teaching in a sociology class right when they conveniently get to sex ed--and BEFORE you're married so you can have anxiety attacks about what you're going to say if anyone has questions. But I'm not speaking from experience or anything.....

Keep your wedding ring prominently displayed....the highlight of your life is NOT being proposed to by one of your students. Again, not speaking from experience....

Remember, you're the slave labor for a relatively short time. Then you'll move on to bigger and better things. It DOES get better.