new years

I do not do New Years resolutions. I mean that both ways. I do not make a list of resolutions, and therefore, I do not do anything on that non-existent list.

Why do I not make a list of goals intended to better myself? Because I know myself. I know that if I were to sit down each January and compile a list of things I ought to improve, I would,

1. Get depressed and feel like a failure. Unnecessarily, mind you.

2. Forget about the list the next day.

3. Find the list again later, feel guilty, throw the list away.

4. Never accomplish anything.

Because frankly, if I'm going to do something, and that's a pretty heady if, I'm going to do it because I want to, not because some ball dropped in Times Square.

However, I do like this idea, stolen gratuitously from Nemesis. Instead of a list of things to do, I shall compile a list of things I will not do. Much easier. Much less guilt. (Although I may steal the first of Nemesis' proposed resolutions, but call it a life goal instead.)

10 things I will NOT do in 2009. REPEAT REPEAT: NOT DO IN 2009. NOT. DO.

1. Stop drinking caffeine. Why ever would I stop? You are all aware that public school, in Utah, where I intend to teach, starts at 7:25 AM, correct?

2. Be chipper.

3. Stop snacking late at night. I should. But I won't.

4. Gain weight.

5. Apply for another advanced degree.

6. Edit my blog posts for spelling/grammatical errors in the same way I edit my thesis paper.

7. Get a family pet.

8. Get pregnant. There, I said it.

9. Run a marathon.

10. And while this one may be considered cheating, I will tell you one thing Spouseman will not be doing this year: Spouseman WILL NOT be growing anymore nasty blood clots in his legs which would require him to be hospitalized, ESPECIALLY on our wedding anniversary.

Feel free to share what you aren't doing in 2009.


Sue said...

Your husband had a BLOOD CLOT?


Lena said...

Wow, pregnant this year? That is a lofty goal, and I am rooting for you. I am thinking next year.

Nicole said...

I will not be saying "yes" to every favor asked of me, which means I will not spend 2009 resenting so many people.

And, like you, I will not be giving up caffeine and late night snacking.

Ahhh...this feels way better than resolving to do anything.

Jscrapalex said...

pregnant? Well I'm excited for ya if that's truly in your plans :)

James McOmber said...

In 2009, I'm never gonna:

1. give you up
2. let you down
3. run around and desert you

4. make you cry
5. say goodbye
6. tell a lie and hurt you

Thanks to Rick Astley.

Kimbooly said...

Dude, Lena & Jscrapalex, Stephanie put "get pregnant" on her "Will NOT do" in 2009 list.

When I was still in college (which she's still fresh out of*) it was on my "what NOT TO DO" list as well. I was still navigating getting my microbes used to my hubby's, learning how to create a strong foundation in our marriage, finishing up school, and still figuring out who I was.

There is time for the family. It doesn't need to be rushed, especially *just* because a whole bunch of other MCBs out there *think* that's just what ya do right after you get married. The pressure can be unreal!

*oops, I think "of" is a preposition, and I ended a sentence with one, quite the literary no-no.

Kimbooly said...

By the way, I just noticed that I'm on your "strangers" blogroll!

Yeah, I'm a little slow that way.

But I'm so excited! Whooopeeee!!
: ) I feel so special.

And, as non-sequiters go, I digress to a diff. topic--resolutions. I wanted to tell you the best resolution I've ever done that was semi-successful for my lovely ADD brain. It's simple:


Only Handle It Once.

Although I still miss lots of things and am distracted about many things (remind me to tell you about the great comic where the kid got distracted MID-WORD), the things I do, I sometimes do all the way through. At least, out of the zillions of things I should be doing or need to be done, there are often 7-8 of them that are completely done, not half-done. Cool, huh.

So, for example, when a bill shows up, I go pay it online, record it in Quicken, and stick it in the file RIGHT THEN. Done w/ it. Doesn't have to rattle in my brain any more as another nagging, mundane "to do." Instead of spending 3 weeks moving it in piles closer and closer to the computer room. New concept, huh.

Bummer is it only works when I remember to do it. There should be an auto pilot for O.H.I.O. so my brain can be wandering about less important things instead...

Michelle said...

in 2009 ... i will not get arrested.

not that i've been arrested before, just going to make it another year.

do me a favor and send me your email so that i can add you to my readers ... i'm going private.

send it to


Julie and Rob said...

Haha! This list sounds much more fun than the resolution list. I also will NOT be:

1. GETTING PREGNANT... no siry... no babies for this girl. Not during law school!
2. Giving up caffine (do people actually do that?!)
3. Give up late night snaking (who says your body stops burning calories just cause its late at night?)

Sorry... my top 3 "not-to-do's" are the same as yours. You have good ideas though, what can I say?!

amanda said...

i will not work at jasmine again

i will not stop drinking diet coke either

i will not pay over 650 dollars per month for my next apartment

i will not get a boring job

Talina said...

I like your list. I think this year I will not start smoking. I like realistic goals. Like how last year I gave up drinking for Lent. But I like your NOT getting pregnant. I think I will add that one to my list as well.

dramamama said...

Finally! Someone who shares my pseronal beliefs about new years resolutions! I never make any either...because I know I will simply ignore it. I've done it in the past. I tell myself "I'm going to stop drinking caffeine." Then what happens? It lasts about one day because I have no will power. So rather than feeling depressed that I can't keep even one simple new year's resolution...I simply don't make any. Then it's easy to honor.

bonz said...

I will not tell lies to be polite. My main plans include living the dream. And, to Julie, babies in law school rock.