i am now one of THOSE girls.

One of those girls with permanent make-up. I know. I know. Slippery slope to anthro obsessions, mistakenly believing that there is a major life lesson to be learned about slightly changing your appearance, (at least I am not telling you about how a new lipstick shade gave my life greater meaning, count your blessings, I say,) and all sorts of other tomfoolery.

But alas, I can defend myself.

You see, my sister Grace came home the other night with her eyelashes dyed, proclaiming that she never had to wear mascara again, and all because she paid $12 for some minion at Paul Mitchell School to dye her lashes.

I was intrigued. You see, I rarely wear mascara, and if I do, it is applied during a particularly long red-light on my way to school. This usually results in some kind of mess, and is also dangerous.

So I decided to give it a shot. I made an appointment, and the following are my observations from the experience:

1. Even if you make an appointment, you will still wait at least a half hour to be helped. This is probably why all the services there are incredibly cheap. It's a cruel, cruel game they play, those Paul Mitchell minions. I was just about to leave, un-dyed and grumpy (WHAT is the POINT of an appointment if you still have to wait with all the other walk-ins,) when a very tiny Middle-Eastern girl came and fetched me.

2. Not only do you have to wait half a year to be helped, but whatever you are having done will take forever, too. That's because a supervisor has to approve every little movement done by their charges. While I was waiting, I watched a girl slowly clip what I am certain was a single hair, turn to her supervisor for approval, and then pick up another single hair and continue.

I am never getting my hair cut there, ever. I don't care how cheap it is, I would inevitably go mad, snatch the scissors, and probably do permanent damage to myself and/or others.

3. Fortunately, I only have a few eyelashes, so my little procedure was fairly quick.

4. Additionally, why you are waiting, you will inevitably end up watching the flat-screens they have set up all over, and thus you will inevitably see footage of well-coiffed, half-naked, and mostly likely gay ballerina men dancing about to loud music. I do not know what this has to do with hair, or eyelashes, but it was nonetheless on the screen.

5. Lastly, you will probably feel really bad for the tiny Middle Eastern girl who is painting your face with petroleum jelly (to make sure the dye doesn't discolor your skin,) and you will leave her a huge tip. Because she was adorable and all apologetic about the wait, and told you all about her boyfriend who wasn't committing right before Valentines, and how she is trying to drop the weight she gained in hair school, and you will chat about how hard it is to work out while going to school and working and yeah, huge tip.

But, apparently, I will never have to wear mascara again (6 weeks) and the odds of me killing someone while driving to school at 7:00 am and applying said mascara are greatly reduced.

The End.

Addendum. Afreakin'dendum. For those of you who care about me not a whit, and simply want a Spouse update- his appointment was canceled. (Boo.) He is rescheduled for next Tuesday.


Kristen said...

I've also toyed with the eyelash dyeing. I've had my eyebrows tinted before and I really loved that (they get weird and bleach-y in the summer) but I've never been brave enough to do the lashes. Now I'm intrigued.

Also, that is muy sucky that le spouse's appointment is postponed. :(

Jessica said...

I'm a little jealous. Taking off mascara every night is the worst. I may have to look into that.
Sorry about Dan't appt. being postponed.

gurrbonzo said...

I look forward to reenacting this with you next time.

gurrbonzo said...

Or something.

Lisa Louise said...

cool steep, i want to see how it looks!

JustMe said...

Yes, I was worried about your spouse. How self-centered of you to wait until the end of your post to give us a "non update".

I tried dying my eyelashes one time, only to realize that I don’t have enough eyelashes to worry about. I do dye my eyebrows because if I don’t, you can’t see them. And it is so great to wake up in the morning with them already on my face.

When you start posting about "threading", I will worry that you have gone over to the enemy. Until then, you are probably safe.

Heather said...

Ooh, you'll have to let us know how long it really lasts and if you'd do it again. My eyelashes are white blonde. Would be nice not to apply mascara. Even if only for a 2 month break. Without I look deathly ill.

Michelle said...

i wish i were so lucky ...

i have to submit myself to the likes of mascara AND eyeliner to look decent considering my eyes are black.

Lena said...

Post a picture of how you look with the cool lashes, or come hang out with me. I too am intrigued.

Kimbooly said...

Wait, it's only permanent for 6 weeks? And here you got me all excited.

Oh, and I am just *dying* to know what "anthro" means as often referenced on Seriously So Blessed (well, it used to be, I haven't been to the site in awhile) and other blogs?

I *finally* just learned what "etsy" means that I see on the sides of lots of blogs.

amanda said...

i've wanted to do the eyelash dyeing thing for awhile... but i'm afraid of getting dye dropped in my eyes and going blind. i have an annoying phobia of things coming near my eyes; they're getting all tingly just thinking about it. anyway, you're brave to let people practice on you. i'm glad you made it out with your sight. shudder.

amelia said...

Thank you for the warning. As long as you don't start drinking copious amount of Diet Coke while texting, I think you'll be safe.

Mrs. Clark said...

Ha ha ha ha! Great post! And this doesn't count as permanent makeup, since it's only good for six weeks and does not require a healing process.

Lauren Palmer said...

Next thing you'll be getting permanent lip-liner, and never wearing lipstick. You know the type. Or, you can just be cool like me, and get progressively bigger and bigger big-girl tattoos.

The Boob Nazi said...

I got my hair cut there once. It took 3-4 hours. My hair was not even to my shoulders. I've NEVER gone back.

~j. said...

I read this.

I thought about it.

I had thought about doing it for a long time.

I made an appointment.

I had it done.

I will have it done again in four weeks (or whenever).

And again, and again, and again.

I love it.

Thank you.