One of those girls with permanent make-up. I know. I know. Slippery slope to anthro obsessions, mistakenly believing that there is a major life lesson to be learned about slightly changing your appearance, (at least I am not telling you about how a new lipstick shade gave my life greater meaning, count your blessings, I say,) and all sorts of other tomfoolery.
But alas, I can defend myself.
You see, my sister Grace came home the other night with her eyelashes dyed, proclaiming that she never had to wear mascara again, and all because she paid $12 for some minion at Paul Mitchell School to dye her lashes.
I was intrigued. You see, I rarely wear mascara, and if I do, it is applied during a particularly long red-light on my way to school. This usually results in some kind of mess, and is also dangerous.
So I decided to give it a shot. I made an appointment, and the following are my observations from the experience:
1. Even if you make an appointment, you will still wait at least a half hour to be helped. This is probably why all the services there are incredibly cheap. It's a cruel, cruel game they play, those Paul Mitchell minions. I was just about to leave, un-dyed and grumpy (WHAT is the POINT of an appointment if you still have to wait with all the other walk-ins,) when a very tiny Middle-Eastern girl came and fetched me.
2. Not only do you have to wait half a year to be helped, but whatever you are having done will take forever, too. That's because a supervisor has to approve every little movement done by their charges. While I was waiting, I watched a girl slowly clip what I am certain was a single hair, turn to her supervisor for approval, and then pick up another single hair and continue.
I am never getting my hair cut there, ever. I don't care how cheap it is, I would inevitably go mad, snatch the scissors, and probably do permanent damage to myself and/or others.
3. Fortunately, I only have a few eyelashes, so my little procedure was fairly quick.
4. Additionally, why you are waiting, you will inevitably end up watching the flat-screens they have set up all over, and thus you will inevitably see footage of well-coiffed, half-naked, and mostly likely gay ballerina men dancing about to loud music. I do not know what this has to do with hair, or eyelashes, but it was nonetheless on the screen.
5. Lastly, you will probably feel really bad for the tiny Middle Eastern girl who is painting your face with petroleum jelly (to make sure the dye doesn't discolor your skin,) and you will leave her a huge tip. Because she was adorable and all apologetic about the wait, and told you all about her boyfriend who wasn't committing right before Valentines, and how she is trying to drop the weight she gained in hair school, and you will chat about how hard it is to work out while going to school and working and yeah, huge tip.
But, apparently, I will never have to wear mascara again (6 weeks) and the odds of me killing someone while driving to school at 7:00 am and applying said mascara are greatly reduced.
Addendum. Afreakin'dendum. For those of you who care about me not a whit, and simply want a Spouse update- his appointment was canceled. (Boo.) He is rescheduled for next Tuesday.