Me: Dad I just blogged about your outfit.


Me: I know, Dad, I know.

Dad: You know my employees READ this shit....

just fyi

My dad is currently wearing a rose colored button-down dress shirt, and a kelly green puffy vest. He thinks this is normal.

Not that you care, but I'm wearing head-to-toe black.


a few items of non-note*, basically a drastic lowering of all and any standards.

*because really, if you are looking for something life affirming in the next few paragraphs, you should probably move on.


1. I have taken to sewing obsessively instead of doing my homework. ____________ That space there? That was room for some of you to judge me.

All done? Good. Because sewing is awesome. It's the one domestic thing my mother successfully taught me how to do. Not that she didn't try to teach me other things.The fact that I suck at cooking and can't keep up on my laundry is my own damn fault. Anyway, I've been sewing. I may even post pictures of my creations, because seriously, I've already posted about my wedding, bragged about my husband, (apparently saying he got into grad school is bragging,) and it just seems fitting that I should start posting pictures of my creations. Since I may or may not graduate from grad school.

Next step? Accidental-on-purpose-pregnancy.

2. The best diet coke in all the land is to be had at Eat-a-Burger. It's in Holladay, for those wondering, by the old Cottonwood mall. I don't know why it is so good, but it is. Maybe it's the whole wedge of lime they will put in there if you ask. Just fyi, lemons and limes at restaurants are gross and usually covered in germs. But at Eat-a-Burger, I DO NOT CARE.

Maybe I don't care because along with having the best diet coke, all the employees are smokin' hot. I'm serious. So far I have only encountered females, but from what I've seen, in order to work at Eat-a-Burger you must be:

a. female
b. between the ages of 18-22
c. hot
d. hot.
e. extremely hot. In that fresh-off-the-farm freckled and tan innocent girl next-door-way.

It's starting to give me a complex, since I usually frequent their establishment after spending half a day not doing my homework or showering.

By the way, there is no logical correlation between hot restaurant employees and me suddenly being less germ-phobe. But yet, the correlation exists.

3. I think they put cocaine in those cadbury egg candies. Or I just have an addictive personality. You decide. Thank you, Word of Wisdom, from preventing me from drinking, smoking, or doing drugs harder than caffeine.

That is all. Tomorrow I will do my homework, I promise.


i am terrible.

The older I get, the more I realize I am a complete hypocrite. But you know what else comes with age? Not caring. (At least for me, I know many people who do not degenerate morally with age.)

First, I spend significant amounts of time mocking Mormon Child Brides, when, well, I am one. (I recently scowled openly at a 19 year old announcing her engagement.)

And now, I am texting, blogging, and in general refusing to listen in class. Refusing. I have not made the transition from teacher to student well. Not well at all. I have also developed an "attitudinal response" to learning. Meaning I don't think the things in being taught in class are important or applicable to me. Am I 17 all of the sudden?

Lastly, and this is less hypocritical and just plain stupid, I am also refusing to do my homework. I will eventually, I hope, because otherwise I will not graduate. Which would suck.

Should I start listening now? Or should I blogstalk?

I think we all know the answer.


because i am a good listener.

here you go, friend JustMe
I can be nice when I feel so inclined.


i suck at blogging.

But I don't suck at watching TV! Which is what I am doing right now.

Which means a few things for you:

1. I shall NOT be held accountable for any spelling grammatical errors. The TV, it is sucking my brain. Just as my father said it would.

2. The post will be particularly ADDish. While having ADD makes one particularly fond of multi-tasking, it doesn't mean one is actually GOOD at multi-tasking. Achilles heal.

3. I forgot where I was going with this. See previous.

Anyway, we have much good news to announce here, at casa de Child Bride and Spouseman, and so here we go. Oh! And also! There may or may not be smush. I haven't decided yet.

a. I am finished with student teaching! It is thrilling.

b. Spouseman was accepted to Grad School. Sucker...

c. We celebrated our 2 year anniversary last weekend. And so I have decided to post some cheesy/mushy wedding pictures. But it is legit, as I am talking about my wedding, and recent anniversary, and not just posting it randomly. i.e. "I went to the grocery store and I was happy! Here is a wedding picture to show what my happy face looks like!" or, "I love my brother! Here's a picture of him at my wedding! Since I only have wedding pictures, apparently!" So. Legit. But still Mushy. Anyway.*

I need to tell you that this shot was not followed by cake-smashing. I am opposed to cake smashing. You don't have to be. But I am.

We were too cheap to buy food for our reception. So we served babies.

* Look, okay, I did post a picture of my sister at my wedding for her birthday post. So yes, I am a bit of a hypocrite. But I have just made an amendment to my rule. Child Brides may post as many pictures of their wedding as they want if they are TOTALLY AWESOME pictures of food consumption and/or if they make you ask "Why did the photographer take that picture, anyway." So we are still good. But if I do it again, I will just swallow my pride and write a post proclaiming how much my husband spoils me and resort to talking in a weird hybrid of both babyandoldlady talk for the rest of my life "my husband got is such a darling dear he bought me an sweet pressie for my matchey-match kitchen I soooo spoiled....."


ask the internets

Dear Internets,

As you may be aware, the end of my relationship with Westminster is nigh upon us. Graduation is near. Which leads me to my "ask the internets" question for the day.

Should I attend my Graduation ceremony?

Before you answer, consider the following:


1.The ceremony is for the whole school. (Westminster is a small, small college, and you may now insert your own dirty joke about how a lot of the things Westminster does is a desperate attempt to compensate for said smallness.) Anyway, even though Westminster is small, since the ceremony is for the whole school, it is going to be long. And boring. And long.

2. I have ADD.

3. Most of my family does too. If i go, I intend to invite them, and I expect them to show up. But they will probably be miserable. As will I.


1. I suppose, hypothetically speaking, that Graduation Ceremonies are a nice way to commemorate an accomplishment.

2. I believe I get to wear cool robes, and flaunt my cool Master's Degree robes in front of the lowly undergrads who are actually paying more than I am for a lesser degree (thank you, government subsidies.)

3. Maybe I will regret it later.

4. It will probably be my last graduation for awhile.

So internets.

Tell me your thoughts. Should I go? Not go?

I look forward from hearing from you.


whilst i dumb down my lessons

I would like to share with you a list of some things I think are highly over-rated.

1. Wearing headbands like a hippie instead of like a normal person. Headbands are meant to hold back hair, not create an oddly shaped indent on your forehead, or emphasize your poof in the back. I like headbands, but wearing them like a hippie is a completely over-rated trend that needs to die now.

2. Headbands with huge accessories, especially those of the feather-variety. I mean, I appreciate the flash-back to the 1920's flapper era, but unless you are going to a garden party at Gatsby's house, stop wearing them. No one needs a ten-foot tall peacock feather headband to run to the grocery store or eat at Cheesecake Factory.

3. Cheesecake Factory.

4.Glenn Beck. He's fine, he's not nearly as irritating as his colleagues Limbaugh and Hannity, but he's not the one and only expert on politics or morality. Over-rated. And I think it is a stupid tactic to imply that only conservative Republicans think "America is good" and that only Republicans "try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday."

What he is trying to say is that if you agree with me on these points (America and honesty are good,) then you must be a conservative Republican, like me.

I think America is good. I try and increase my honestness factor, and yet, I do not agree with Beck's politics. One event (me agreeing) did not cause another (me becoming a Republican.) There is a logical fallacy in your argument, Mr. Beck, and it's called false cause. Try harder.*

5. Brangelina.

6. Parent-teacher conferences. In theory, these allow for better communication between teacher, parent, and student, and results in improved student behavior/grades. In practice, it is irate parents who truly believe that you forced their son to fail, and thus loose his football scholarship.

7. Giving football players scholarships to top-tier schools when they are failing English.

That's it for today.

*Note that reading this blog post does not mean I expect you to agree. We can all be different! We can all be friends, even! Even if you are wearing your headband incorrectly! I will fix it for you, but then we can totally be friends! See you at Cheesecake Factory! (just kidding.)



I am listening (from my desk, I can hear most of the surrounding teachers,) to a teacher absofreakin'lutely butcher a novel I really enjoyed in high school.

This is why teenagers hate English.