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6/19/09

i am going to tell you a story...

That makes me look like a bit of an idiot. But oh well. Spouseman is at a Scout Camp, and I'm not quite ready to start my abandoned female ritual of stress-sewing. It's only fun when you start a project at 11:30! So that when things do not go as planned, you are sufficiently crazy and willing to start chopping fabric and tearing seams erratically!(Still want me to teach you to sew, Gurrbonzo?)

Anyway, the sewing bit is the perfect segue into my little Friday Night Anecdote. Here we go.


Once upon a time, I was staying up late to sew using a pattern I had borrowed from my friend, kept for weeks, and had yet to try. Dan, being the 8 year old he secretly is, had already gone to bed. (He has been trying our entire marriage to convert me to his 9pm to 6 am sleep schedule.)

I decided I needed some company while I sewed. Being caught up on all my trashy television, and having watched all my Jane Austen novel adaption films recently, I decided to watch Medium. My mother watches Medium while she sews, so I figured I would follow tradition and watch/listen to some blonde chick solve mysteries while I solved the mystery of the blind stitch.

I watched a few episodes, everything was going well, until I realized something. Medium was officially creeping me out. No one told me Medium is scary as hell! It never seemed scary when my mother watched it at 2 in the afternoon in broad daylight! Holy shit! Did that ghost just gouge out that girl's eyeballs????FREAK.

I decided to keep sewing. At this point it, it was 1:00 am, but I told myself that if I just finished the pattern, my productivity would uncreep my brain, and I could go to bed.

By 3:00 am, I had made two completely awesome bags, and had completely lost my mind. I desperately wanted to go to bed, but I was convinced that ghost-man eye-gouger was hiding in the hallway from my sewing table to my bedroom.

I could not convince myself to walk down the hall. I also convinced myself that I could not turn off the lights, (those girls only got their eyes gouged out in the dark). Plus, Dan was going to wake up in 3 hours anyway. Maybe I could just wait out the night...

Or, I could call my husband repeatedly on my cell phone until he woke up, demand that he walk down the hall to retrieve me, escort me past my caffeine-sewing-Medium fabricated delusions of eye-gouger man, and take me to bed.




I'll let the audience decide which option I picked.




Fin.

10 comments:

Crystal said...

that's the best story ever. Really.

My hubby's in the Navy and was out to see last halloween. I love watching zombie movies, thought I'd pop one in since it was halloween. Um, bad idea. I had to keep the lights on all night. Even my 3 year old got up in the morning and was like, "um, mommy, you forgot to turn the lights out." no dear, no I didn't.

BTW...I've been reading your blog for ages and this is my first comment, so um, hi. :D

MamaBear said...

Oh, My, Goodness, you are hilarious today! of course, any time we tell our embarrassing stories they tend to be hilarious in the extreme...

i don't know which option to guess. MY dh would never stop laughing at me if i did such a thing to him, and i'm not sure my pride could take it...

stewbert said...

*snort* I've done the same thing with other sufficiently creepy shows, only my husband works graveyard shifts ... I only wish I could call him and have him put me to bed. :)

Femme Facetious said...

HA! you're hilarious. I do this too though. I have more than once jumped FEET from the bedroom doorway to my bed because I'm afraid something (ghost from The Sixth Sense?) is going to grab my ankles.

yep.

Kimbooly said...

Wow. I don't remember any Medium episodes being so scary. (I must have missed the eye-gouging one) But maybe that's because I didn't watch them at 1 in the morning.

Now, Ghost Whisperer? My younger siblings teased me abt. being scared by it IN THE THEATER, so scared that for months I had terrible dreams and kept waking up during the night, sure that a spirit was lurking right by and if I happened to catch one off guard, I'd see it. My husband gave me multiple blessings.

My siblings all thought it was a great, fun movie. Crazyheads.

Finally, my mom explained that the other spirits that are roaming the earth are pretty much doing their own thing, and unless I want to get involved in things that invite the yucky spirits, I'm pretty much only going to run into ones with the same likes, like people at the temple waiting for their work to be completed if they want to join the church.

Though I'm sure there are exceptions to what she told me, it was what finally allowed me to breath easy.

And don't even get me started on Stephen King's "It." Why I ever watched it, I don't know. It was just plain scary!

Shar said...

Oh girl, you can't start a good project unless it's really late! That's half the fun!

Medium... at night. Wow. You should have put on Care Bears Movie after that, just so you could walk down the hall!

Carley A. T. said...

Those shows gave me nightmares as well, and it didn't help that it was in the last weeks of my pregnancy when I was waking up every hour... and seeing those freakin' eyeless heads staring at me..

Zombies give me the worst nightmares though, and the zombies always stalk me when I'm taking my dog out to pee at 2 AM. I have to comfort myself by repeating that if there WERE zombies, Stella would definitely bark at them. Then I slowly make my way back to my house..

Mrs. Clark said...

Was he mad?

Lena said...

That is classic MCB. I totally know what you decided to do, and i feel a little sorry for spouseman. Oh, and we need to get together. I really want to see The Proposal. Would the men want to see that too, or should it just be us women?

Julie and Rob said...

HAHAHAHA!!! Fin!!! You crack me up, Steph! Ode to Melia....