The fake-management would like me to obey employee policy and wear a name tag.
In a throw-the-girl-a-bone move, they said I could use the label-maker all by myself, even! (Wow! Thanks! I must be a big girl.)
So I gave in, and I made one.*
Hi, my name is BestServerEvah, and I'll be your server tonight!
*And when I say "I," I mean "I coerced a younger and more impressionable employee to do it for me. "