This is an engagement picture. Mine, specifically. I've long considered posting it as my blog photo before, because it just screams MORMON CHILD BRIDE. I mean seriously, look at it. I look 12. Spouse looks 13. We don't even look legal. Am I sure this isn't a 9th grade Promotion Dance photo?
But I haven't ever posted it, partially because of fear. I'm a little afraid my photo breaks a bazillion Engagement Photo rules. Such rules are popping up all over the internet these days. I'm pretty sure that, according to these edicts, my photo might be tacky. I'm sure I'm "headlocking" Dan, that it looks like he might be giving me a piggy back ride (he isn't, but whatever,) or that I may be inadvertently "ring flashing."
Whatever. If my engagement picture is wrong, I don't want to be right. If my engagement photo is tacky, I don't want to be un-tacky.
Plus, we all know I have my own rules for engagement photos: no exacerbating gender stereotypes.
Recently, however, I have changed my mind about the Rules of Engagement. I do not care if there is straddling. I do not care if there is blatant and obnoxious ring-flashage. I do not care if your picture involves a make-out scene so passionate that old people blush. I'm even willing to give up my beef with gendered photos (If you want to set back feminism 50 years, FINE, FINE.)
I no longer care about these things.
What caused my change of heart, you ask? I will tell you. I recently stumbled across an engagement photo in which the soon-to-be- bride *donned a mini-skirt, and sat down in such a manner that allowed me (and everyone else she sent her announcement to,) to see right up her skirt. Cute Victoria's Secret panties,** sweetie! I think I used to own that pair!
And that is the only rule I maintain now. No Visible Underwear. Ever.
I love lowering my standards, don't you?
* I KNOW! I KNOW! Clearly this woman has no friends, no mother, a blind or otherwise functionally-impaired significant other, a mother-in-law who hates her, and a photographer who secretly lusts after her future-spouse.
** I hate that word, but I suppose it had to be said.
ps, I no longer have access to the picture, so you will just have to trust me. Plus, posting other people's engagement photos w/o their permission might land me in blog purgatory...