Spouse: "So the job is totally awesome, I'd be helping kids who are having trouble in high school, like kids who have bad attendance or just don't go."
"Kind of like you."
"And some of them have drug problems."
(Pause. Realization where this might be going. Look of horror.)
"Which is totally not like you."
Child Bride: (Mentally.)
"That is what you think."
In other news, parts of me that never saw sun saw sun last week, and are now peeling at an alarming rate. What? I don't even get a tan with my melanoma? Damn.