I have a billion email accounts. I don't know why, except for maybe I have ADD and like to compartmentalize things. I have an email for this blog, a grown-up email that doesn't make me seem involved in polygamy, (fun fact: most people find my blog by google searching "polygamists") and a random and very old email that houses all my comment notifications.
The very old email is a hotmail account, and I'm keeping it around simply because MSN is just so amusing to me. Everyday, in the sidebar, is a link to truly bizarre and random articles. Top 6 ways to alienate your whole family! Top 7 ways to die unexpectedly! 5.5 ways to ruin your wedding! Today's link: Top 9 Unsolved NFL mysteries.
I always read these, while simultaneously wondering how the heck they came up with their numbers. Top 7 ways? You couldn't find three more to make the normal, and more expected 10? Does Letterman have some kind of copyright on the phrase Top 10?
The wedding lists are my favorite. Apparently, all it takes to ruin your wedding is a failure to serve a favor. Or serve the oh-so-cliched Jordan almonds. Or not send out individually letter pressed thank you cards. Oh MSN. If only you had been to my wedding.
Top 3 Things That Happened at My Wedding Reception, that if I were MSN, I would think Disastrous. But Because I Have Perspective, I Just Find Them Funny.
1. My newly minted brother-in-law showed up to the reception totally high. He stuck leaves in his hair, and made chipmunk cheeks in the family pictures, until the photographer asked him to leave. He then proceeded to hit on my then 14 year old sister.
2. My sister's hair was waaaay prettier than mine*
3. On our way to the reception, my car broke down. Why we were in my POS car and not Dan's nice car is a story that I still do not find funny, and therefore will not discuss. Oh wait. I will. If you are in town for the wedding, and want to turn your trip into an extended vacation, rent a car. Or borrow another friend's. Don't ask the groom for his. He might need that car. To get to his own reception. And then the airport. For his honeymoon. Sheeesh. But actually, my # 3 was really about how because my car broke down, we were late to the reception. And everyone thought it was because we had checked into our hotel early for some sexy times. No one believed the car excuse. I guess that's what everyone says?
Anyway, despite these little snaffus, I still don't think my wedding was a disaster. And I didn't even have individually letter-pressed thank you notes.
*In retrospect, my original #2 seemed mean. Not on purpose, but still. So I changed it to an equally true, but less mean one. If you saw the first version, well, know that I found it more funny and strange than annoying, and I like the people involved.