I am making no promises about whether or not I make sense in this post. The usual reasons apply. I'm watching the Wing. (Hi. New to this blog? I watch West Wing all the time.) I have ADD. It's late (early) and I am taking a break from sewing.
I ran into a old friend the other day, and then had dinner with her the next week. I was dreading it, because:
1. I am anti-social. My husband is always trying to make new "couples friends" and I respond by establishing a quota for "couples friends" and insisting on sticking to it. I did however, grandfather a few people in. I'm wearing the pants here, not running a dictatorship.*
2. Re-connecting with friends is hard sometimes. I sort of felt like I had made soup (fine, Spouseman had made soup,) eaten half the batch, and then froze the rest. Now I'm trying to de-frost the friendship soup. Now I am ending that analogy, and filing it under "Things about this post that don't make sense."
Simply put, sometimes you realize that when you are 19, your standards for friends are very different from when you are 23. You no longer want friends who aren't friends, but instead are surrogate mothers, or people you use in order to maintain your relationships with other people. (If you are a girl, you have done this. Been friends with someone because they were useful, but not really your friend. If you are a boy, lucky you.) You liked cheese soup a few months ago, but now it is gross. (Analogy still not working? Damn.)
And the friend who can't tell the truth to save her own bum? You don't need that person in your life. And neither does your spouse.
But surprisingly, the dinner was nice. I realized that sometimes I end friendships too quickly. How many years of friendships did I miss because I let distance or time or more stupid, more insidious reasons interfere? In this case, I lost 4.
But sometimes, I'm pretty glad I ended some friendships when I did. I'm a happier, less-stressed person. Plus, their elimination grants me more leeway in adding additional friendships to my quota roster.
So. Tell me what you think. When is it time to let a friendship end?
Can you out-grow a friendship?
Will I ever like cheese soup again?
*If anyone takes that seriously, and comments on it, I will use Google Analytics to hunt you down, and punch you in the face.