School starts so freaking early. I made the mistake of staying up waaaaaaay past my old lady bed-time of 9:45, (opting instead for a way past midnight one,) and now I am paying dearly for my stupidity. Do your eyes burn when you are tired? Mine do.
(It should be very, very, apparent that I am now typing solely to stay awake.)
Anyway, I thought I could get away with staying up late because today I am subbing, and not actually teaching anything. I forgot that you still need sleep in order to maintain basic human functions, like blinking. Also for typing.
How am I able to amuse you with my blogging splendor when I am supposedly working? I will tell you. Today I am getting paid a ridiculous chunk of change to sit in an empty classroom. The kids came in, I marked the roll, and then they were collected by their guidance counselors and taken to some seminar about staying in school, and going to college. (You know, all the usual liberal propaganda.)
I will repeat this procedure two more times, and then, since this teacher has a 4th period consultation (no students,) I will go home early, and still get paid for subbing the consultation period. Even though I am really at home in bed watching Mona Lisa Smile and eating gold-fish crackers and eventually passing out until Spouse gets home. (The life of a Mormon Child Bride is SO GLAMOROUS.)
And while I totally meant what I said (And I said what I meant, an elephant is faithful, 100 percent,) about loving my real teaching job and doing meaningful things, I have no moral qualms about earning money for doing absolutely freaking nothing. None. At all.
I am harboring some qualms about my next plan. Which is to lock the door, set an alarm on my phone, and take a nap under my desk. *
*It is either nap, or blog recite more Dr. Seuss. I can recite the entire literary masterpiece that is Go Dog Go.
I know. Impressive.