hello internets!

A few items of ward, erm, blog business.

I am writing today as a new person. Last night was the first full night of sleep I've enjoyed in a week. I feel like a whole new person! A functioning person!

Hell week began last week when Dan took a job working on some computer servers. The servers were apparently in charge of all AT&T's text messages, so blame Spouse for any problems you may have encountered last week. Anyway, the company didn't want him breaking and fixing things during business hours so he started working on them at 10 pm, and coming home around 2 am. Not a problem. Annoying, but fine. Then 2 am turned into 4:45 am. Then 4:45 turned into 8:30,* and all of the sudden Dan was working all night and all day, over and over again.

Zombie Husband!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand in a strange bout of unexpected co-dependency, I discovered that I have a really hard time sleeping sans Spouse. So I wasn't sleeping at night, trying NOT to sleep during the day in hopes that exhaustion would right my sleeping schedule, and basically trying not to kill anyone.

Zombie Child Bride!

Basically, the only way I survived teaching was pumping myself full of sugar, caffeine, and carbohydrates. I'd like to think I kept it together for my students, but based on the following behaviors outside school, I sincerely doubt it.

Exhibit A:

Telling my friend to just marry her boyfriend "for fun" to see if it would work. I believe I believe I compared holy matrimony to leasing a car, suggesting that she could just end it after a year if she didn't want to buy the car/and/or husband.

I'm pretty sure I was joking when I said it, but still, um, probably one of the more inappropriate comments I have ever made.

Exhibit B:

Numerous rambling, and embarrassing emails sent to several people. I finally made a rule that I cannot respond to emails in my mormonchildbride account until I had slept.

Exhibit C:

Getting a teary-eyed while watching Ellen with my sister Grace. Seriously. The time Ellen gave the stay-at-home-pregnant-with-baby-number-two-living-off-student-loans-with-husband-in-grad-school mom $2,000 dollars and a new nursery? I nearly lost it.

Exhibit D:

Yesterday I went to the library to pick up my slew of adolescent literature, and nearly tore off the librarians head (sorry, Nemesis) when I couldn't make the self-checkout machine work. Or, more accurately, I couldn't make my brain work, and therefore could not operate self-checkout.

It was then that I decided that hell or high-water, I was going to bed. Right then.

Plus, I was out of sour-patch kids, noodles, and running low on Diet Coke.

*The reason for the lateness THAT night was because someone threatened to BOMB the building Dan was working in. And the bomb squad thought that Dan's lone car in the parking lot was part of an elaborate bomb-scheme. Everything turned out fine, but Spouse didn't tell me this until after we'd slept, because I probably would have freaked out.

And that is all. Soon I will tell you about my ADHD student who gets high inhaling hand sanitizer, what blogging-behavior makes me want to kill puppies, my plans for UEA/conference, and possibly about the time I nearly eloped.

Happy Tuesday!


The Boob Nazi said...

I feel like we're friends in real life now. I'm not sure why. But I want to hear about the bad blogging behavior.

~j. said...

Your new profile pic: bueno.

Jessica said...

yes. L, just marry J.

lifeofdi said...

As a side note I laughed at my news meeting, at my grown-up job, like an immature 12-year-old kid when I found out the UEA speaker was named Harry K. Wong.

Whatever the K is for, I would go by that. Nothing could be worse than Harry Wong.

Lena said...

I also know the Zombie Husband, but not because of excessive work. Quite the opposite actually. He gets that way with too much sleep. I hope that everything is back to quasi-normal, and that you get more diet coke soon.

Julie T. B. Hansen said...

My Diet Coke was running low the other day too... I had to make a special trip to the store just to renew my supply.

Is that a sign of an addict?

Nemesis said...

Hey, no need to apologize to me. I'm (kinda) sorry that when you asked me how to make the self-checkout machine work my answer was, "No idea, I've never used one."

Which, now that I think about it, is not strictly true. I have used one. Once, about a year ago. Before I worked there and could just do such things at my computer my own dang self.