don't i know you from the cinematographer's party?

I love me some Paul Simon. I really do. And I'm not even leaving a judging space for that.

I had a really nice Thanksgiving. Did you? Thanksgiving with my Mom's family is always awesome because my relatives always bring randoms. This year my aunt brought her old babysitter from ten years ago when they lived in Kansas.

Babysitter friend and I bonded, because we both recently found ourselves college-educated and underemployed in our respective fields. Except Babysitter friend had a much better attitude than I did. She told me that she just had faith that something would work out, and she ended up working at Borders for awhile. She ended up making good friends, one of whom joined the LDS church, which is neat. Compared to my hectic impatience to land the perfect job, she seemed calm, and much happier.

I rarely like to verbalize any level of Mormon Guilt on the internet, because unintentional or not, it tends** to sound preachy, (i.e. "I had this magnificent revelation reading the scriptures, and I felt I needed to share my new found righteousness with those of you still struggling,") but I will say that I was reminded of a few things while talking to Babysitter friend:

1. My time schedule isn't always God's time schedule, but his is better.

2. What if there is something I am supposed to be doing right now, but am not, because I am so frantic to change the currently unchangeable.

About then, my little cousin Jane threw a roll at me, and said "I GOT YOU THAT WAS A GRENADE." Which reminded me of some of the comments on this* post. So I'd like to add the just described scenario to the discussion. Then again, Jane truly believes she is "Half Snow Leopard Half Cheetah," so I don't know, maybe the point is moot.

Random fact: I never use the drive-through window at banks. I don't like it. I don't know why. But I always go in and wait with the old people instead.

Does anyone else have random things they won't do for no reason? Or am I alone?

(note: asterisks are backwards today.)
*That's a link.

**"Tends to" and "Always" are not the same.


some more stuff for you guys. and an extra addition.

Sometimes I feel like blogging alot. So yeah, post two in one day. Are you judging me? Would you like a space for that? ____________________ There. There is some judging space.

Anyway, I survived today. I did not kill anyone, even a student. Although I did send hateful thoughts to the teacher who shares a room with me and leaves me snarky notes on where I put the computer cords. Not very Thanksgivingish, of me, no, but still no one died.

I like to have low standards, sometimes. No one died. Mission Accomplished. (Plus, I can say things like "Mission Accomplished," and not look like an idiot a trillion dollars and a bunch of dead people later.)

I am saddened about my 3B class that hates "Our Town." 2B liked it, but not 3B.

I am super excited for Thanksgiving, and our tradition of watching Pieces of April the night before with my family. You should all go rent that movie. Pre-Tom Katie Holmes is in it, back when she might have had talent. Don't judge the movie for having Katie Holmes. Unless you really want to. In that case, here is a space for that as well.________________

My students are sad I am leaving soon. Apparently, it is because I am "loud" and their real teacher is "too quiet." I am taking that as a compliment, because I take what I can freaking get, and the other option (worrying about my teaching skills) is depressing.

I haven't sewn anything since moving, even though I technically have an entire room for sewing, and also for grading papers. But I have not sewn, and I still grade in bed. Someone send me ideas of something awesome, and easy to sew, so that I break my self-imposed sewing fast. Sewing Ramadan.

I have cable now, and I really like watching "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

Addition: My Dad sent Dan and I letters today, in the mail. We see him nearly everyday, but he still sends us letters. On his fancy-office stationary. Typed up by his secretary, because my Dad won't use computers. He dictates all his letters, memos, and emails on a little tape recorder, and a very nice lady types them up. For some reason, this whole process, the tapes, the mailing, and receiving of letters from a person I see regularly strikes me as very funny and very sweet.

You won't read this unless I print it out for you, but Thanks, Dad.

Happy Thanksgiving! Eat pie!

it is 6:00 am

If I make it to 12:39 pm, today, without killing anyone, (potential victims include hyper-pre-long-weekend teens,) it will be a miracle.

And make the upcoming Holidays so much simpler.

Pray for me.

Or stick some voodoo dolls, I don't care.


really? the beckster? did he sign your copy? or just cry on it.

Displaying a Glenn Beck book (in your home or as a sticker on your blog) with any degree of pride makes you look like a moron.

At least pick a smart Republican.

I'm sure you can find one...somewhere....


what i'm doing over here

I planted tulips! In my garden! I felt very...something. It was nice.

I also planted a tulip in the middle of my yard, because my Dad always does that, and it seemed like the right thing to do. We all need a random tulip in the middle of the lawn, right?

Also, if you are a person with some mild OCD tendencies, I highly recommend planting tulips. Repetitive motions? Check? The option to line things up in a perfect little row? Check. Dig. Plant. Cover. Move 6 inches. Dig. Plant. Cover. Move 6 inches.

Like I said, it was nice.

Also, I'm freaking eating vegetables right now. What the hell? Who am I?

Anyway, have a nice weekend. Now that you know my every move.


get a life, child bride

I had to step foot on Westminster's campus today, and it was not pretty.

This is what happens when I visit the University of Utah, in case you were wondering.

When I visit Westminster, I feel annoyed. I remember all the hours spent in classes with no point other than to convince me I was secretly racist, and that the only way to cure myself was to use a graphic organizer. Sure, I had a couple of awesome professors/classes, but the jury is still out on whether I would consider my graduate program to be a

a: Complete yet necessary waste of time.

b: Completely unnecessary waste of time.

Anyway, despite all my misgivings about Westminster, I still found myself having a funny internal dialogue while walking across campus.

Me :(in my head, not out loud, because I am silently crazy, not out-loud crazy.) "I wonder if Professor X is on campus. Maybe I should say "Hi." I could tell her that I am did a simulation activity last week, and it went really well. And she would probably ask me to reflect on what I could do better, and I would tell her that I had ALREADY REFLECTED the crap out of my simulation, and come to the conclusion that the concept of the activity was great, but my students needed a little more scaffolding along the way. "

"Then I would tell her that I developed an awesome Funds of Knowledge* activity for Our Town, and she would beam happily about my multiculturalness."

And then I did the same thing you've been wanting to do through your computer screen for the last five minutes. I mentally slapped myself in the face and said (again, mentally) "SNAP OUT OF IT FREAK. YOU GRADUATED ALREADY."

Looks like I've discovered something about myself. I'm a positive feedback addict. That's why I kicked so much academic ass in college. Because nothing makes me happier than an teacher/authority figure telling me "Good job! Gold Star! You are so talented!"

Needy much?

I've also discovered that this need for positive reinforcement has spread into my teaching life.** Sometimes I will be in the middle of teaching, and I will realize that I am all alone in a classroom of 15 year olds. I could do whatever I want. Best -worst-case scenario, I could be doing nothing, or putting National Treasure into the DVD player everyday. Worst-worst- case scenario, I could be... well, you've seen the news lately, I bet you can imagine some worst-worst case scenarios.

Anyway, I've often found myself hoping for someone, ANYONE to step in, see me teaching, and tell me I'm doing a good job.

And then, once again, I mentally slap myself in the face, and move on. I know the real solution is to develop more confidence in my teaching abilities, and focus my addictive personality on my caffeine committment instead of my need for positive reinforcement.

But somehow, scheming up ways to get an A++ in teaching seems much more fun.***

*FOK. FOK. FOK. LOL. Any Westminster alums out there? Anyone remember FOK? Anyone want to bludgeon themselves?

**Surprisingly, my "needs" are all academically or professionally based. I wish I could transfer it into needing positive reinforcement for doing the laundry or learning to cook, or learning to be less grumpy, but alas, no, we cannot pick our trials.

*** And by "fun," I mean "dysFUNctional." Hahaha! I'm such a punster.


guys! the universe smiles upon us!

Guess what the universe decided to gift us with this week?!?! (Besides two posts in one day on MCB).



The book is called Saving Kristen, and, well, SPOILER ALERT, here is a description of our leading lady: (pg. 9).

"You're the best looking girl here tonight. Look at you-blonde hair, blue eyes, a great dancer, good smile. A guy can't do any better than that."

Well. I've said it before, and I will say it again. Blonde is the hair color of the righteous!

If any of you actually read this, please email me if the following events occur in Saving Kristen

-Kristen strays off the path to eternal salvation, either via promiscuity or substance abuse.
-A man "saves" Kristen, and helps her return to the path of righteousness.
-Kristen is led astray by a slutty brunette.
-A man makes a vaguely misogynistic comment about women- I mean, what COULD be better than a blonde haired blue eyed dancer with a great smile? NOTHING.

Anyway. Thanks Jack! And thanks anyone who reads this an emails me details! And thanks Gurr for the informative email!

ps, on most computers, links show up as purple. But sometimes they don't. So if you think there should be a link somewhere, there probably is. Maybe just try clicking on random words? Like a treasure hunt?

But just in case, here is an extra, easy- to -see link to my previous musings on Jack Weyland.


a brief summary of the week.

1. Today at lunch we (the teachers) discovered that a drunk 17 year old had been using the faculty parking lot as his personal bumper car course. All morning. Seriously, the kid was careening through the parking lot, crashing into various cars, backing up, and crashing again.*

2.My students are finally starting to like "Our Town." Finally.

3. My sister Laura is upset because I never mention her on my blog. Dear Laura, you have been mentioned.

4. My students wrote me a bunch of letters in their computer class. I guess the assignment was to write a formal letter to someone, and for whatever reason** they chose me. Many of the letters were adorable and heart-warming, and said very nice things. But my favorite letter was from "Landon," who identified himself as my "Most Polite and Best English 2B Student."

Dearest Mrs. L________________:

I write in my journal everyday how I had fun in your class. You lift my spirit every day. Yet it saddens my heart to see you struggling with your dangerous addiction to caffeine, and the addiction is winning. Don't let this war get out of hand. You can win. Please Mrs. L, let me help you fight your addiction. I'm here for you. Coke is a material thing you can live without. I know you can.

Oh Landon. It isn't an addiction, It is a COMMITMENT.

Anyway, that was my week. How was your week?

*Eventually he was apprehended, and stopped. My car wasn't hurt, which is lucky for our little alcoholic, because for the first time in my life I drive a nice (nice=functioning) car, and I won't have some little 17 year old punk take that away from me.

**Because I'm awesome? Oh. How nice of you to say.



Here is a poem I have been thinking about. It is a bit more somber than the usual MCB fare, but we shall persevere.

W.H. Auden,

September 1, 1939

...I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return...

Lest we should see where we are,
Lost in a haunted wood,
Children afraid of the night
Who have never been happy or good...

We must love one another or die.

You can read the full text here.

I love that last line. We must love one another or die. Originally, Auden wrote that line as "We must love one another and die."

I like the revised version better.

That is all.


thank you, universe.

Behold. A line from one student's "Issue Paper."

"Gangs- when one hears this word, one usually thinks bad, money, and drugs flowing out the butt."

Bless her. Bless her heart.


a yellow bellied new england warbler*

Well, internet, how are you? I am good. Nothing new to report here at casa de Childbride and Spousetotheman.

Everyday I realize how much ego it takes for me to write this stuff and assume you want to read about it. Do you want to hear about our new house? It's awesome and we like it, and we will stick with home-owning. Do you really care to know more? Probably not.

Although, and this is a little bizarre, the move has made me strangely social. When we lived in the batcave,** I was always very anti have-people-over. Mostly, because, where the heck would I put them? When your living room is also your husband's business headquarters, (meaning we had at least 6 computers in said room at any given time,) your sewing room, the dining room, and also where-you-grade-papers whilst watching West Wing, the best you can offer the home-teachers is the tiny corner of couch not covered in crap. Or sometimes the floor. Oh! Oops! Watch out for that hard-drive there. Okay, carry on.

Anyway, since our move in, I've been basically inviting people off the street to come share a diet coke. Now that I know where to put you people, suddenly nothing sounds more awesome than sitting in my living room eating frozen twix bars and enabling my caffeine addiction. (Hey, I said I was social, not domestic. If you want refreshments, you'll have to befriend Dan.)

So if you are a relatively normal, (or if I happen to like your type of crazy,) e-friend, consider this your open invitation.

*Extra points if you place that reference.

**Only bummer about not living in a basement apartment is that suddenly windows serve more than one purpose: to see out. Now windows allow people to see OUT and IN. Which means my days of wandering around my home in various states of undress are officially over. You are welcome, new neighbors.


dias de los muertos

In honor of my favorite Holiday, I wore a fleece fest with dancing skeletons all over it. And shoes covered in glitter.

Actually, I lie. I didn't pick the ensemble in honor of the day of the dead. I wear that kind of crap all the time.

And yes, both my husband and dad have matching vests.