"I'm tan...

...and have beautiful hair. "

Just kidding. I'm not and I don't.* But guess who does? My 15 year old brother, Grant. And yes, that IS a direct quote from Grant. Isn't he a peach? Had a lovely time in Mexico with my family, and Grant, and his endless supply of "your mom" jokes.

Here is a list of thoughts:

1. I understand why you are no longer allowed to climb on the ruins Chitzen Itza. Really, thousands of tourists do cause a lot of wear and tear, and I want my kids to be able to see awesome historical sites too. BUT I also wish Spouseman and I could be the exception to the rule. Knowing what is best for other people, but considering myself the exception? I AM a good Democrat.**

2. Speaking of history, the irony of staying at a Mexican resort modeled after a Spanish colonial villa, (complete with Mexicans serving white people drinks on the beach) was not lost on me. I wish I could talk to the owners of the resort, because really? That was the best idea you had? This is why "themes" are never really a good idea. Why can't the "theme" for the resort just be "lots of food and alcohol and water-related entertainment?" Probably the same reason suburban women wear cowboy boots in engagement pictures, and photographers put babies in tutus, and people hold weddings in barns: people are stupid. And, in the case of our resort, culturally insensitive. ***

This is what a highly liberal humanities based education gets you, folks. Major in science. It pays better, and you can go to resorts guilt free.

3. Occasionally, I read grown-up books. Here are some grown-up books I read whilst on vacation:

Sarah's Key, by Tatiana de Rosnay- I liked this book, but it was horribly depressing. And I felt like something was missing, a conclusion, or some little ray of hope that everything would be all right. Then I realized that wanting a book about the Holocaust to have a happier ending is at best presumptuous and at worst revisionist. I did like how the author connected the Holocaust to a contemporary person, because I think that is the best way to remind people that the Holocaust still impacts people, and should be remembered.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows- I know. I am the last person on earth to read this book. It was very good, and I liked it, and while I think it is wrong to expect a WWII book to be funny and uplifting, when they are, of their own volition, I like it.

New Mercies, by Sandra Dallas. I really enjoy Sandra Dallas books, and have read most of them. They are perfect airplane/beach/ travel books, because they are well-written (so you don't feel secretly embarrassed to be caught reading it) but still fast-paced and entertaining. If you read all of her books, you notice re-occurring plot lines and themes, which can get old, but really, whatever, I've eaten a billion hamburgers in my life and I still like them. So go get yourself a Sandra Dallas for your next trip. Except not Chili Queens, I think that was the only one I didn't like.

4. Most of the time, I read books for children and teenagers, so it wouldn't be a real vacation if I didn't read at least on YA book. I finally managed to snatch The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart. I loved this book. I thought it was a great read, and, as my friend Gurr pointed out, reminds one of reading a Roald Dahl.

Also of reading Lemony Snicket, but we can't talk about him, because I'm still bitter about how he ended his series. Whatever, Lemony, go back to writing X rated adult fiction. I'm over you.

5. So that is what I read. I also kayaked the heck out of some ocean, saw a crocodile, and ate more than should be humanly possible.

What is new with you?

*I love when I come back from vacationing in a warm place, and people ask me "where's your tan?" This is laughable. I will never tan. I burn, painfully, peel, and return to the exact same shade as before. Kudos to you if you can tan, but it will never happen for this MCB.

** See? See? I can make fun of democrats too, just because we don't have the equivalent of Glenn Beck doesn't mean there isn't an abundance of comedic material....

*** I'm going to get so much crap for that, but, again, whatever.


The Boob Nazi said...

I'm jealous of your vacation. I feel like I need to go on a real vacation now when really, I have 5 months of crap ahead of me. Instead of going on a vacation, I'm currently watching "Snakes on a Plane." And just got so scared I almost peed my pants. I jumped off my couch.
That's what's new with me. AHHHH

The Boob Nazi said...

Oh and the Spanish theme is laaaaameeeeeeee in Mexico. Quite funny.
The mother and I went to a Mexican restaurant in Spain. Not as good as Spanish theme in Mexico, but it still made me laugh.

amanda said...

sounds like you got the true spanish conquistador experience.

lifeofdi said...

This could very well be one of my favorite posts. I laughed through the entire resort description and wholeheartedly endorse the idea of being a science major.

Kristen said...

I am so glad someone else was irritated with the ending of the Series of Unfortunate Events books. WTF? I thought the end was a total cop out and after reading 13 books I was really disappointed with it. Boo!

Have you read the Percy Jackson and the Olympians books? I've been meaning to read them for a while and now that the movie is coming out I feel the need to ignore my coursework and thesis to curl up and read them all in one sitting. Just because. :)

Stephanie said...


they are awesome, and higher education is over-rated.

just kidding! sort of.

Queen of the Castle said...

Science majors have guilt too, atomic bomb anyone?

MamaBear said...

hahaha, i planned to major in science anyway. if i can ever find someone to support my higher education needs.

i'm jealous of vacay, too; just so you know, you don't EVER GET ONE AGAIN after you have kids. you go, but it isn't rejuvenating or anything good at all. it's exhausting.

LOVED MBS. gave sequel to my mom for christmas. we like youth/juvenile lit. it is more intelligent than much of what is sold as "adult" lit.

now i wish i had or hadn't finished SUE. i want to know, but i don't want to be disappointed.

Lena said...

I am glad you are back from your highly anticipated Mexican vacation. Sorry about the resort. Although, you got to go for free, so you have no room to complain :)

I want to read that Potato Peel Society book too. So it was good?

Oh yeah, your back, so we can go to IKEA now.

Little Fish said...

a. Maybe your brother should participate in the Beauty School project.

b. From one lefty liberal to another thank you for, "Knowing what is best for other people, but considering myself the exception? I AM a good Democrat." That is hysterical and it's really good to laugh at yourself once in awhile.

NIKOL said...

Your Lemony Snicket comment leads me to believe you must have read Watch Your Mouth. I felt like I had to confess to my bishop after reading that thing. Yeesh.

I did, however, adore his book called The Basic Eight.

The Series of Unfortunate Events had an unfortunate ending, which (while not the least bit satisfying or entertaining) seemed sort of fitting. The series started to go downhill for me when we found out that VDF really did stand for Volunteer Fire Department. Give me a break.

Melinda said...

Let's see, while away from student type kiddos (as opposed to my biological type kiddos) I read the Percy Jackson series and loved every minute of them. Finally read The Hunger Games and Catching Fire and was completely sucked in (even though they reminded me too much of Scott Westerfield books. Just finished The Guernesy Literary... Society on Sunday and have thought about it ever since. It was that good. I love it when books stay with me. Makes me feel like they were extra worth reading.

And you're right about Democrats. My own spouse needs to lighten up.

JustMe said...

Sounds like a wonderful time. I thought of you all during Christmas since my 19-year-old got engaged. I think they dated maybe 4 weeks.

"good" democrat made me laugh. We have a friend that moved here 35 years ago from NYC. He was SO liberal he made me totally nuts. But after living here for so long, he's way more conservative than I am. Ah - the irony.

Still adore you though.

Mrs. Clark said...

MamaBear is totally right about vacations--it's just a trip for Mom, who still has to make sure people get fed and their clothes get clean while away from their own kitchens and washing machines! AND when the kids get old enough to fight and whine in the car--it's even worse than when you climb aboard an airplane with a toddler and a baby and everyone gives you dirty looks. Hey, planes are public transportation, folks!

But I digress. Glad you got some down time. And I loved Guernsey Literary..etc. It's our Relief Society Book Groups selection this month--I read it last fall.

Aunt Spicy said...

Theme or no theme, plop me on the sand and I am good to go! Glad you had a lovely vacation, this post was classic!

Chloe said...

The image of Grant saying this made me laugh. (It isn't too hard to imagine.) I'm glad you enjoyed your trip!

PS- The last lemony snicket book made me angry for weeks.

samnhal said...

Can I just say I love this post? Because I do. And it's true, the thinker majors screw you up because you're always analyzing everything. I'm glad that you caught the Spanish theme irony. It made me laugh. The Guernsey book is so cute, I'm glad that you liked it too. Your little brother sounds like my little brother at least they make for pretty good entertainment. Somehow my brother at 18 still is like that though. P.S. if I ever do become an archaeologist and work on the ruins in Mexico or Guatemala I will sneak you in to climb them. Even though I don't know you, I would do it, just because you asked.