well shoot

Hello internet. I have sort of missed you.

Here is a list of things going on over here.

1. Full speed ahead at the new job. It is overwhelming, exhausting, and fun (sometimes.) Right now I feel like I am just trying to keep my head above water. But doggie-paddling my way through employment is way better than the alternative, (faker teaching,) so, as mentioned, full speed ahead. I really like having a job. I'm still navigating how to talk about the job on the internet, but someday, it will all work out.* And what a glorious day that will be. Also, become my real-life friend, I'm a total work blabbermouth in real life.

2. One thing I do not like is 6:30 am meetings. Especially, if they are pointless. Sometimes, I wish life was like college, and I could AP test out of 6:30 meetings where I "learn" a new computer program that is so simple I figured how to do it on my own last week while shadowing. I should note that I am not a particularly computer savvy person, so if I can figure it out, the administration should be able to figure out that I don't need a meeting. Especially at 6:30 am, for the love of Mary and Joseph.

3. As an English teacher, (student, fake, and substitute,) I always hated the kid who asked the "How many pages does my paper need to be? What font? Will this be on the test?," before I finished explaining the concept. So my faculty meeting today amused me, because it was chock full of teachers asking "How many professional development hours do I have to log? Will this be in the faculty email? What time is the meeting?," before the poor shmuck from the district had time to exhale.

Second-Hand-Obnoxious-Adolescent-Disorder, a silent killer that affects the lives of middle-aged teachers everywhere.

4. I decided long before I got a job that I would not be one of those teachers who chucks candy at kids for answering questions. The last thing our often-over-weight-nearly-always-hyper-active youth need is a mini twix candy bar as a reward for doing their job (participating in class.) You know who DOES need a mini-twix candy bar? The new teacher who discovered the old teacher's stash in the desk drawer this morning. Enough said.

5. Lately, I've been appreciating the culinary goodness that is the nacho. It's all I want to eat lately. And before you imply that my cravings are remotely pre-natal, I'll remind you that OCD rules my life, and nachos are not the first food-related obsession I've fostered. Remember my french-dip sandwich phase, mother?

6. Ignore #5 for a moment. In an effort to be healthier, (Hey, I told you to ignore #5,) I decided to try a work-out video recommended to me by a friend. This is all I have to say: Jillian Michaels is kicking my trash, and my legs are so sore I had trouble walking down the stairs today. EPIC FAIL.

Also, a judging space for those who feel inclined. Because I got my trash kicked by a reality TV based work-out video.



*Seriously, I was going to say something, then I practice googled some of the information, and my school popped right up. Thanks, Google! Thanks for ruining my blog-life.


Melinda said...

I love reading your teaching related commentary. Why? Mainly because it's nice to know someone out there gets it.

Yesterday I had a student ask two consecutive questions. First question, "What do those numbers mean? You know, like where it says 'Registrations are due from 2/21 through 2/23...'" Second question,"Mrs. M, do you think I should take A.P. English?" This was preceded a day earlier by, "What does "injustice" mean?"

We all know that we don't get paid to be honest. So my answer? A very diplomatic, "I'm a little concerned about your reading comprehension. I think you'd be more successful in English III."


The Boob Nazi said...

I hate those people. "Will this be on the test?" UM EVERYTHING WILL BE ON THE TEST, YOU JACKASS.
Also, you didn't respond to my email asking what you thought about my 500 emails I sent you hahaha. I NEED TO KNOW. I'm still all odd feeling about this.

Genavee said...

Aaygh. I hate with the hate of a thousand fiery suns the people who ask millions of little whiney questions that they would know the answer to if they would just be quiet. I tell myself that they'll grow out of it, and if I just wait patiently the people around me will stop. Please, don't ruin my delusion.

Ru said...

I just ordered the Jillian Michaels DVD. Every day I check my mailbox, and I'm kind of relieved that it's not here yet.

Lisa Louise said...

i love your teaching comments, it's so refreshing from my hospital life.

Alyosha said...

I want to take credit for you doing the 30-day-shred. Please tell me my lovely sister-in-law is the one that recommended it to you, because I recommended it to her. It's awesome.

Sharon said...

OK, I had to comment after Melinda because I know her, and all THREE of us (you, me, and Melinda) are English teachers.

I am so excited for your new "real job," and I'm dying for you to figure out a way to tell us about it without telling us about it, because I really want to hear how it's going for you.

Being an English teacher is awesome. Most days.

Nicole said...

Um, no judging space needed. I go to the gym pretty regularly and run and stuff, and I fear my Jillian DVD. I got it for "an easy workout for days I don't feel like going to the gym", and the truth is, it terrifies me.

So I put her face down under a stack of other DVDs so she can't get me in my sleep.

Brooke said...

I use the winsor pilates dvd's. Still effective, not so much trash-kicking and soreness. Good luck with the new job!

Erin said...

I have noticed that many of the teachers at my school complain incessantly about the behavior of their students and then, in similar situations (like a faculty meeting), those very same teachers exhibit the very same behaviors they complained about. When I pointed this out to a teacher who was especially guilty of this, it ended badly. Very, very badly.

Lena said...

I miss being your real-life friend. Can we do that again? I want to hear about your teaching woes, and I always want to vent about banking idiots.

NIKOL said...

Which Jillian DVD is it? Is it the 30 Day Shred? I can attest to the madness. Also? Why does she always call people "buddy?" No buddy of mine would torture me like that.

Sarah said...

Rocky told me as long as you eat nachos with salsa, the contain three food groups--vegetables, dairy, and grain. I choose to substitute the salsa for sour cream. I'm doubling down on dairy to avoid osteoporosis.

Sarah said...

I don't think I recommended the Jillian Micheals video to you, unless it was done via connection of our minds. But everyday I do it I can't bend over.

Stephanie said...

hahaha sarah, i stock up on the whole thing. salsa AND sour cream.