i have a question

You know those families who have professional photos done every other week? What do they DO with all of the photos? It seems a waste to pay for snap-shot sized ones, and throw them in an album....but one can only have so many brightly-colored-standing-in-the-woods photos, or, vintage-styled-domestic-scenes-photos-or even the blessed mother-to-be photos. I mean, I don't care how large your house is, you will run out of wall space eventually, right?


I'd wake up with nightmares if I had a bajillion photos of myself all over, and I'm a babe.



To everyone who mentioned the massive amounts of time teachers spend grading. Amen and amen.


some stuff on mom jobs, the kids i don't have, and teaching.

Sometimes, I get a little frustrated when people make assumptions about teaching. Some of them are offensive:

"Those who can't do, teach."

(Because teaching itself isn't a skill-set, just a back-up plan when grander life goals fail.)

Some of them are simply, and blissfully, ignorant:

"It must be so NICE to only work until 3:00 and still get paid for a full day!"

(I get to work at 7:00. 7:00-3:00 is just as much as "full day" as 9:00-5:00.)

But the most disturbing (at least to me) assumptions occur when someone questions my motives for teaching. While I know they don't mean any harm, the comment I've heard most when I mention I'm a teacher goes something like this-

"Oh that's wonderful! What a great mom job!"

Newsflash: I didn't go into teaching because it is a "great mom job."

I went into teaching because I am passionate about education. I am passionate about history. I am passionate about literature. I went into teaching because it is the best job for me.

Because, really, all jobs can be great "mom jobs." Just like all jobs can be great "dad jobs." (But no one tells men that, anyway.) I think being a great Mom has very little to do with what job title you hold, and very much to do with what type of person you are. There are great Moms who are lawyers, neurosurgeons, and CEO's. There are lousy moms who are teachers, nurses, and home-business owners (just to name a few of the more prominent and socially acceptable "mom jobs.")

Are the hours for teaching conducive to having school-age kids? Sure. But in a world where there are so many options for both Mom and Dad's work schedule and child-care, it's hard to use a schedule as the only qualifier for a "Mom job."

I also hear a lot of "Oh being a teacher will help you teach your kids! That's why I majored in ___________, so that I can be a better mom."

Yes. Being a teacher will give help me teach my kids. But why have so many people decided that only certain types of information can be valuable to our children? Wouldn't being a doctor help me teach my kids too? Or a businesswoman? Or a politician?

All types of education and experiences are valuable to teaching children. Not just the education you get from your FCS major. (Although that IS great, too!)

Lastly, I hear the "It's always great to have that teaching degree. Just in case."

I didn't get a degree "just in case" my husband dies, or is handicapped, or heaven-forbid, leaves me for some trollop.

I chose to gain an education to serve others, including God. Whether or not I work or stay at home,* my education isn't the intellectual equivalent of food storage, to be used only in case of an emergency.

But I also worked hard for my degree, for myself. For my own edification. The doctrine of my church teaches that if I am diligent and faithful in my learning that"There should be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things." (D&C88:67)

No darkness in me.

My body...comprehendeth all things.

My education, both spiritual and temporal, is for me.

Because assumptions about teaching aren't always right.

Because if I can't do, how can I teach?

That's how it works, right? That's how it should work. **


*In my discussion about great "Mom jobs" I chose to discuss more formal careers. But that shouldn't indicate a disrespect for great Stay-At-Home Moms.

**Wrong! Wrong! Child Bride! That's NOT how it works! You'll change your mind once you had kids! In fact, why are you even writing this!? Your opinions will change (miraculously, they will change to be just like mine) once you have your own children! Just you wait!

Dear commenters, please feel free to copy and paste the above statement as your comment if you find my thoughts offensive. It seems whenever I discuss my own, personal, opinions on motherhood/femininity/or children, I am inevitably given some variation of this comment. So I've made it simple. Copy. Paste.

It's not that I don't appreciate discourse, I do! I don't appreciate being told I cannot have valid thoughts until I'm older, a mother, a mother of three, a mother of older children, etc.


Some judging space, just in case.




Well, first off, I'd feel like I world-class jerk if I didn't issue a huge thank-you to all of you who sponsored me for the Fight For Air Climb. Guess who was the top fundraiser for last week? Yours truly. All thanks to you! Really and truly, thanks for being awesome. If you are interested, you can still sponsor me, (even if it is two bucks, you can sponsor me!) just check out the post below. The Fight For Air Climb isn't until February 27th.

Anyway, updates?

Jillian Michael is still kicking my butt. Nachos are still delicious. Opening Ceremonies for Olympics are way too long. I haven't showered yet today, but I think my husband still thinks I'm hot. Don't tell another blogger with "Mormon" in her blog-name, because I think it will shatter a paradigm that is very dear to her, and that could be dangerous.

Winter is killing me. It's a good thing I freaking love living in Utah,* or else I'd be out of here. I always get a little SADsish and super ragey (sorry, real life friends!) this time of year, so it is safe to say I'm ready for spring. In fact, if I weren't married, I wouldn't be above signing myself up for the freaking Bachelor so I could go to Hawaii for a week. Or, I could be re-incarnated as a bear who hibernates all winter, and keep some of my dignity. Both are equally feasible to my brain at this point.

In other, more cheerful news, we had an awesome long weekend, full of sleeping and excellent television. Some of my students are getting really into To Kill a Mockingbird, and, as I previously alluded, the Bachelor is on tonight.

So Hurray!

You're totally welcome to come over and eat nachos with me, but I'm unbathed, unrepentantly grumpy, and have a tendency to talk to characters on the T.V. You've been warned.

*You know, because we bought a house here, started a business here, we might want to stay.


Fight For Air Climb

Why hello again, internet!

I’d like to take a minute to talk about the awesome new button on my blog. Did you see it? Spouseman and I are both participating in the Fight For Air Climb. This is a fundraiser put on by the American Lung Association, which develops research and prevention programs for lung disease.

Hey, why don’t I let them tell you what they do!

“The American Lung Association Fight For Air Climb fights for research that will find a cure for tomorrow. We are fighting for those who can’t quit smoking and for those who shouldn’t start. We are fighting for lungs that burn from exercise rather than from ozone. We are fighting for asthma education to stop children from dying from asthma attacks. We are fighting for laws that improve our air quality both inside and out. And we won’t breathe easy until we win the fight.”


Now here is the part where I shamelessly plug my participation in this event. I would like you to sponsor me as a participant in the Fight for Air Climb.

Here’s how you can do it. Click on that handy box on the right. This will take you to the American Lung* Association home page, where you will have the option to Sponsor Participant. Click on the “Sponsor Participant” button. You’ll be asked to “Search for a Climber.” At this point, I would recommend searching for Stephanie Anne Child Bride, (Child Bride being my last-name alias,) because that’s the name I used when I signed up.

When my name comes up, click on it to make a contribution to the American Lung Association. You can contribute however much you want. But it’s a good cause, so you totally should. You can also sign up to participate in the climb yourself.
Now before you start judging me (even though technically, you aren’t allowed because I haven’t left you a judging space,) you should know that I have been very careful to never make my blog sound like a brochure. So why am I doing it now?

1.) This is a charity fundraiser, for an awesome cause that I believe in, not an attempt to boost by page-views, or anything nuts like that. I’m never going to be Dooce, but I figure I can do my part to support an organization I believe in.

2.) I have Asthma, as does my completely adorable little brother, the Clark. Supporting the American Lung Association is supporting an organization that works to make our lives and many, many other lives better.

So do it! Sponsor Me! **

*Sometimes the link is a little slow after business hours. Be patient or try again.

**You know when people have ads on their blogs, and they call them sponsors, when we all know they aren’t sponsors, they are ADS. This really is a sponsorship! SO. HA.


cha cha ching

Hey internet!

Here is some stuff that is new with me.

I'm totally watching Greek oh Hulu right now. Holy crap I love that show. I think I am the only one that watches it. In real life, I think it is on Fox Family on Monday night. But I really love it. Mostly because I was in a fake (LDS) sorority in college and the show is ALMOST as campy as the LDS fraternity/sorority system. So it brings back happy collegiate memories for me.

For instance, the sororities and fraternities are always singing to each-other. This is a central part of LDS culture in general, but especially in fraternities/sororities. Does anyone else remember singing "Going to the Chapel" (but subbing in Temple, of course,) when a girl got engaged? And how secretly, amidst all the squealing and hugging, you could tell some of the girls were ticked it wasn't them? Girls who were 20 and 21 being ticked about their non-married state is still hilarious to me.

Also, mostly the show is cheesy and silly, but the Beaver character is a total secret minefield of awesome. Seriously, he steals every scene and makes the whole show. Oh Beaver, there's no crying in baseball!

Anyway, I watch a lot of TV, and I am not ashamed. In fact, I will draw a line in the sand and say we cannot be friends if you pretend to be totally above crappy pop culture. You don't have to like the Bachelor,(I'm dancing the song of my heart!) or Lady Gaga, or whatever, but you do secretly like SOMETHING even if it is just that one Top 40 countdown song from 2007. Saying you don't just makes you look uptight. And I'm an awesome friend, so don't make me draw that line.

In other world news, teaching is still going, and I find myself getting better everyday. Most of the time it is two steps forward one step back (today was rough,) but I keep telling myself that with time and practice, I will improve. Right now I think I am a decent teacher, but I want to be a really good teacher. So I will be. Someday. (This is my personal mantra, along with, "Peace in our Time," said somewhat ironically.)

I think I can, I think I can,

Stephanie Child Bride.


let me guess, it has a circus theme and the models are wearing cute dresses....

How is it that I can tell you all about the new Anthropologie catalog, without ever seeing it?

Because every damn mormon-mommy-turned-design blog has talked about it.

All of you are clones.

But wait. You love "Anthro?" Really and truly? You aren't just like everyone else who likes it? Fine. Learn to say something besides I love this cover/I want everything so bad/I love love love Anthropologie.

I read 196 student essays on the same topic today, and they were more interesting.

Rant over.


fun fact

I like Bones, but mostly just because "Angel" is in it.


i'm phoning in this blog.*

This is an email I sent to my friend Gurr this morning. (I told you I was phoning it in.)

Here you go....

"so my sinuses are going nuts, so this morning i tried this gross, but somewhat effective thing where you squirt saline water up your nose, up one nostril, and it comes out the other. I KNOW. GROSS.

anyway, so this happened at like 5:30 this morning, and it seemed to make me feel better, so hurray.

except i just leaned over to get something out of my drawer, and a freaking torrent of saline water came out of my nose and all over the floor.

i am leaking. and i have to teach 15 year olds in an hour, and i have to somehow remind myself to keep my head entirely upright.

gross, gross, but also weirdly hilarious.


That is how my day went. How was yours?

* No. I don't capitalize, punctuate, or spell check my emails. Judge me.