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3/6/10

when will people learn that equal doesn't mean the same?

Sometimes, I have to break-up with blogs that annoy me.

25 comments:

Mama Hen said...

You broke up with c jane, too? You evil feminist...

Caroline said...

Heh,I feel like I'm in on a secret!

Genavee said...

Amen.

Jane of Seagull Fountain said...

Me too. I wrote whole posts on this a year (or more) ago, when the new big thing was "Equal parenting." Equal doesn't mean the same. Amen.

Brandi said...

I'm so glad I wasn't the only one completely annoyed by that post. I had to restrain myself from posting a tirade about it in her comments.

A couple of months ago I blogged that she (and her sister) were beginning to be more annoying than entertaining. (Which, by the way, caused my inbox to be flooded with hate mail the likes of which I'd never seen.)

I kept reading in the hopes that maybe it was just her hormones and in a few months all would be well again. But this last post of hers kind of drove me over the edge.

And I'm going to feel ridiculous if we're not talking about the same blog. But I'm pretty certain we are.

aubrey said...

thaaaaaaaaank you.

I was bugged too.

Becky said...

who did you break up with?

Audrey said...

I was wondering if you were going to blog about this. It wasn't a famous mommy blogger with an even more famous sister, was it?

(I've been a lurker for a long time, but I had to surface for this!)

The Boob Nazi said...

I didn't even know what to say to that post. I rewrote my comment about 8000000 times.

turleybenson said...

Yeah, I was sooooo disappointed with that post. I can't stop thinking about it. And being annoyed.

Urg.

E Soutter said...

Followed you from a blog I think I'm breaking up with. And I think I totally just fell in love with yours! Your liberal Episcopalian friend, EBS

Teryn said...

Oh Man! I am SO out of the loop!

April said...

I only read through a few of the 4oo and some comments, but I thought this girl had it on the mark:
"Now, I've always had an issue with equality because what's EQUAL isn't always FAIR. For instance, I have 4 younger sisters and when I was a teenager, my youngest sister was still pretty small. When school time came around we were all given $100 to get new school clothes. I quickly realized that there was a HUGE difference in what I could get for $100, and what my sister could get for $100 at the same exact store. Because she was still in children's clothes, she was able to get about twice as many clothes as I was- which even though the money was EQUAL, it wasn't really FAIR."

I really like the direction of her thought but I would change the word "fair" to "equitable". My MIL was a great Mom and all of her kids agree with that statement. One of the things she said she tried to do was to treat her children, not equally, but equitably. Giving your kids the exact same thing is equality, but giving your kids exactly what they NEED as individuals is to treat them equitably.

In the feminist movement, that is what we want, to be treated equitably. I think that the idea that a SAHM can look at her life and say "I am happy with my life so I have no use for feminism" is a very narrow view. We live in a world with different people, countries, customs, etc. and just because she is happy in her sphere, doesn't mean other women would be happy in that same sphere. What I, as a feminist, want is for every woman to be able to make that choice. Foe every human being, man or woman, to have a choice about the path of their life. And just because you happen to fit a mold and be happy with a traditionally non-feminist lifestyle, doesn't mean that you don't have a responsibility as a literal sister of the world's population of women, to stand up and say, "Everyone should get a choice."

Sorry. I'll shut-up now.

Ru said...

I have no idea what blog this is, and I'm glad. I have been far too riled up lately, and one more idiot might really push me over the edge.

Sharon said...

Seriously. It makes me wonder if so many well-written comments have facilitated any re-thinking of the issue.

Stephanie said...

no sharon. she will ask her spouse to read it, assure us he told her it was fine, and that she was right.

Ru said...

Ugh.

Found it.

Wish I hadn't looked. :/

AzĂșcar said...

Alright.


First of all, the comments about her sister: uncalled for and mean.

The personal attacks? Rude and tacky. Honestly.


Her opinion on feminism? I disagree with, clearly, since I was the first comment on the post that disagreed. I'll keep reading because I love her, her writing, and even when we disagree, sometimes vehemently, it's OK, because you can do that with friends.

If we don't talk to each other RESPECTFULLY DAMMIT during the times we disagree, then coming to a consensus will be impossible.

Now I'm angry at both of you, haha! ;)

AzĂșcar said...

(Because I hate it when my friends fight.)

Sarah said...

I've never read the blog in question but was drawn in out of curiosity yesterday. Big mistake. I spent the rest of the day fuming.

I understand that men and women will always be different. This is a good thing. It does not mean we are not equal.

Tammy said...

....I guess negative publicity is still publicity. Damn, I am apart of that. I shouldn't have said anything.

Stephanie said...

no one is saying anything hateful, patti. we are simply disagreeing.

cjane is a WRITER who puts her work out in PUBLIC. saying we don't like her writing isn't saying that we hate her, we just didn't like the writing.


i disagree with lots of people. my friends, my husband, and my neighbor. it doesn't mean i HATE them. i'm quite fond of spouseman.

and wouldn't it be a scary world is disagreeing with someone meant we hated them? it doesn't work that way in the real world, it shouldn't work that way online.

Little Fish said...

I had a blogger who I kept on my Google Reader simply because she annoyed me and sometimes I enjoy seeing dumb people in their natural habitats. However, when she wrote a recent post about how most poor people are that way because they are lazy I was DONE.

Emmie {orange + barrel} said...

I am not LDS, but that article reinforced the image LDS women have in some people's mind. I know that is not true because I am friends with a lot of LDS people, either way not positive PR.

I just think of my favorite quote:

I'm not sure what being a feminist really means. All I know is that people call me a feminist whenever I make statements that differentiate me from a doormat.

NIKOL said...

Her post initially upset me, but I let it go quickly. I cannot comment on her post because it just makes me tired. I don't have the energy to argue with someone who actually uses the phrase "Equality has never done any good for me."

That phrase just makes my head spin. Sometimes it's just better to back away from The Crazy.