i always wished my name was estephanie instead of stephanie

In case you were wondering.

Anyway, hello e-world! I assume you're here because you would like an update? Okay then.

Some things you didn't know:

1. When I was hired for my job, I was told it was for this year only, and I would have to go through the entire interview/competition process again in April. I took the job anyway, because hells bells, a half-year of teaching is better than no teaching.

2. When interviewing for a job, here are some tactics I find helpful:

a. Begging.

b. Threatening.

Some things you know now:

1. During my interview last week, I threatened to egg my Principal's car if he did not re-hire me.

2. I got the job.

Woot woot Child Bride! AND....I never have to interview again. Assuming I don't sleep with a student, I'm here as long as I want.


if you haven't worn it in a year, throw it out.

Anyone who watches TLC's What Not to Wear knows that the quickest way to get Stacey London riled up is to cling to the fashion sense of the 1980's. Seriously, she gets nasty when she encounters anything with shoulder pads, stirrups, or bangs.

Likewise, nothing gets a "contestant" more riled than Stacey and Clinton telling them the 80's are over. For many of them, the 80's were when they were hot and young, and who wants to give up on hot and young? No one. Even if it means clinging to your sky-high bangs.

Eventually, though, the contestant gives in. Old clothes are discarded, a new wardrobe purchased, and the contestant comes out saying "This is the real me!"

Sometimes, I think our LDS church culture gets stuck in a fashion rut. Despite the fact that we have biannual meetings (Conference! It's like the Fashion Week of Church!) where we receive counsel from our Church leaders, some of us cling to counsel that is outdated.

You may think I'm being facetious, but really, sometimes Church counsel, like stirrup pants, becomes less relevant as new information, new styles (to continue my metaphor) come into fashion.

Does anyone still wear the skins of animals?


I bet you don't follow God's counsel to sacrifice animals, either. Which is good. That sounds messy.

Recently, I've seen this quote bantered around, and I'd like to discuss it.

“You [women] were not created to be the same as men...

The business world is competitive and sometimes ruthless. We do not doubt that women have both the brainpower and skills—and in some instances superior abilities—to compete with men. But by competing they must, of necessity, become aggressive and competitive. Thus their godly attributes are diminished and they acquire a quality of sameness with man.”

President Ezra Taft Benson.

With all due respect to President Benson, who I believe was called as a prophet, this quote reminds me of shiny pastel metallics, leggings over over-sized sweatshirts, and cone-bras. Not that those things didn't have their place, but I'd much rather wear this:

"It is disturbing that so many, especially women, have self-doubts and question their ability to succeed. Addressing female students studying math, science, and engineering in March 2005, BYU president Elder Cecil O. Samuelson Jr. of the Seventy said: “One of your professors has commented to me … that some of you have less confidence in your abilities and prospects than do your male peers, even when the evidence may suggest that this is not justified. You do need to recognize your talents, skills, aptitudes, and strengths and not be confused about the gifts that God has given you.

Women especially may receive negative feedback when they aspire to professional occupations. A young sister entering her late 20s and faced with supporting herself wrote for advice. She confided that she had approached an ecclesiastical authority about studying law and he had discouraged her. We do not know her abilities or her limitations; the counsel she received may have been based on them or on inspiration peculiar to her circumstances. But her determination could be felt through the pages of her letter, and it was clear that she should be advised to reach the full level of her potential.

President Thomas S. Monson, as part of his message during the general Relief Society meeting held on September 29, 2007, told women: “Do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your tasks will be no miracle, but you will be the miracle.”

Elder Dallin H. Oaks and Sister Kristen M. Oaks. "Learning and Latter-Day Saints."

Like dark-wash denim, and the wrap dress, this more current information fits me better. I think it also fits the statement in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," which identifies men and women as "equal partners" who should help one another.

Instead of characterizing men as aggressive and beneath the pedestal on which women are placed, why not embrace each other as equals? Instead of clinging to our hair spray, why don't we cut a bob? Instead of worrying about whether or not competing in the business world will make us less feminine, why don't we pray for "abilities equal to our tasks?" Why don't we become miracles?

For the love of all things, literally, holy, why don't we buy the dark wash jeans?

Of course, there are the classic wardrobe staples, that do not become less relevant over time, and are passed down from generation to generation. These are your grandmother's pearls that you wear at your wedding.

These are the worlds of Eliza R. Snow:

"We want to be ladies in very deed, not according to the term of the word as the world judges, but fit companions of the Gods and holy ones...Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time... the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling and qualifying for those responsibilities."

"This is the real me!"


my husband makes my lunch

Every weekday morning. Go ahead, judge me. I will provide you with a judging space.


Am I capable of making my own lunch? Yes. Do I ever make his lunch? Maybe once. But it's something he does, and I do other things. Isn't it weird how I do other things, but still feel like our arrangement is pretty equal? (snark.)

Today, my husband made me a sandwich, loaded with pickles. Now see, he does this because I love pickles. They are delicious. But I hate them on sandwiches. Hate, loathe. I've expressed this, but it is to no avail. He always throws pickles on my sandwich, thinking I love them (which I do, but not on a sandwich.) I take them off, eat them separately, and remind him casually that pickles on sandwiches are gross.

"But you LOVE pickles!"

"Not on sandwiches."

"Oh, okay."

Then he puts more pickles on the next time he makes me a sandwich.

This is probably mundane and boring to you, but I find this little miscommunication hilarious and endearing. It's been going on for about two years now, and I like to think that in 50 years my husband will still make me a sandwich with pickles.

Consistency is nice, even gross consistency.

In other news, I just finished a mildly ineffective 3 week unit on 12 Angry Men. I taught it earlier this year for another class, with much success, so it bummed me out that it didn't go as well this time around. I think it had something to do with the fact that the first time I taught it to one class of 22 students, and this time I taught it to 214 students in six classes. Turns out teaching is not like baking. You can't just multiply the recipe for a larger batch. That's fine, I don't bake or make my own lunches. Lesson learned.

And now, I feel as though this post needs a list. So here you go, a list of things I think when I see my students, but do not say.

1. You are not a person who should wear skinny pants.
2. Your girlfriend is controlling.
3. I know you STILL cheat on all your assignments. I just fail you. No reason to make a big deal.
4. Your behavior problems don't stem from ADD, they stem from your parents telling you that you aren't responsible for your own behavior.
5. I have ADD. How is I can manage to behave (mostly) appropriately, and you can't?
6. Please bathe.
7. Wearing your pants that low makes your legs look tiny and like toothpicks.
8. I know I should be happy you are reading, but there is so much more to literature than Twilight.
9. For future reference: I would like a diet coke, with lots of ice, and a lime. Commit this to your memory, it will be relevant to your future career.
10. You will regret that promise ring.
11. You are my favorite student, and I hope I have a kid just like you. ( Okay, I may say the first part of that one....)


from the desk of s.a. childbride

Hi internet!

Goodbye spring break!

Speaking of spring break, (Moab was great, thanks!) I decided to do something wild and post some craft pictures on my blog.

I know, right?

Anyway, I really like sewing stuff, and I really sewing bags. I'm super particular about bags, so I like to make up my own patterns. Sadly, I'm not a spatial visual learner, so the fact that this bag has THREE freaking pleats is some kind of miracle. Also, I like bags with a lot of structure, so I always line them with duck cloth, which is a really stiff canvas. I have no idea whether or not you care about my creative process, but if I'm going to go craft blog, I'm going to go hardcore.

And yes, suddenly I'm feeling all sad that I'm a lousy photographer with a normal person camera. Just imagine my bag a thousand times cooler looking in real life. Because it IS pretty kickass, frankly.

Is this a better photo? I can't even tell.

And, for your further viewing pleasure, an awesome photo of Dan looking festive AND patriotic whilst modeling the bag.

go me.


important life lessons from zoolander.

People who say "namaste" after saying something offensive/condescending are the Hansels of real life.

Whatever. Peace. God bless.