Every weekday morning. Go ahead, judge me. I will provide you with a judging space.
Am I capable of making my own lunch? Yes. Do I ever make his lunch? Maybe once. But it's something he does, and I do other things. Isn't it weird how I do other things, but still feel like our arrangement is pretty equal? (snark.)
Today, my husband made me a sandwich, loaded with pickles. Now see, he does this because I love pickles. They are delicious. But I hate them on sandwiches. Hate, loathe. I've expressed this, but it is to no avail. He always throws pickles on my sandwich, thinking I love them (which I do, but not on a sandwich.) I take them off, eat them separately, and remind him casually that pickles on sandwiches are gross.
"But you LOVE pickles!"
"Not on sandwiches."
Then he puts more pickles on the next time he makes me a sandwich.
This is probably mundane and boring to you, but I find this little miscommunication hilarious and endearing. It's been going on for about two years now, and I like to think that in 50 years my husband will still make me a sandwich with pickles.
Consistency is nice, even gross consistency.
In other news, I just finished a mildly ineffective 3 week unit on 12 Angry Men. I taught it earlier this year for another class, with much success, so it bummed me out that it didn't go as well this time around. I think it had something to do with the fact that the first time I taught it to one class of 22 students, and this time I taught it to 214 students in six classes. Turns out teaching is not like baking. You can't just multiply the recipe for a larger batch. That's fine, I don't bake or make my own lunches. Lesson learned.
And now, I feel as though this post needs a list. So here you go, a list of things I think when I see my students, but do not say.
1. You are not a person who should wear skinny pants.
2. Your girlfriend is controlling.
3. I know you STILL cheat on all your assignments. I just fail you. No reason to make a big deal.
4. Your behavior problems don't stem from ADD, they stem from your parents telling you that you aren't responsible for your own behavior.
5. I have ADD. How is I can manage to behave (mostly) appropriately, and you can't?
6. Please bathe.
7. Wearing your pants that low makes your legs look tiny and like toothpicks.
8. I know I should be happy you are reading, but there is so much more to literature than Twilight.
9. For future reference: I would like a diet coke, with lots of ice, and a lime. Commit this to your memory, it will be relevant to your future career.
10. You will regret that promise ring.
11. You are my favorite student, and I hope I have a kid just like you. ( Okay, I may say the first part of that one....)