i've decided to blog less because it's a total waste of time.....

BAhahahahaahahaha! Didn't that sort of rankle your feathers? Especially those of you who spend lots of time blogging/reading blogs? Bah.

I once had someone who was considering my Masters Program tell me they "didn't believe in going into unnecessary debt in order to be a teacher."

That rankled (doubting that's a word...) my feathers to0, but it took me awhile to figure out why.

Answer: Because people who feel the need to validate their life choices by putting down other people are feather ranklingly annoying.

If you don't want to get a Masters degree, fine. But it doesn't mean my degree was unnecessary. If you don't want to blog, fine, but that doesn't mean it is a waste of time.

I've found though, that the most frequent offenders of this crime are women, and the most frequent victim: children. Or lack of children. Or childcare.

It seems like nobody can have a kid, want a kid, have a job and a kid, without being subject to the "I'd do that, but...." clause.

For instance, how many times have we heard this gem?

"I'd like to have a career, but I don't want to sacrifice my baby for my own ambitions."


Because working mothers are just selfish and need to feed their egos.


"I'd love to be a SAHM, but I'd think I'd go nuts! I need more in my life than just being a mom!"


Because SAHMs are just mindless drones that don't need external validation.

It's just as bad for those of us without kids.

"I thought about waiting to have kids, but I realized that having kids was the most important thing I could do, so why put it off?"

Childless people just don't have the right priorities, you know?

And people who have kids right away are just dumb.

"I was going to have a kid, but people who have them right away usually don't know what they are doing..."

We've heard it all before. Heck, maybe we've even committed the "I'd do that, but I'm so much smarter than you" crime. I admit, owning your own life choices can be hard to do.

It's still annoying.

Either get a degree, or don't. Blog. Or don't. Work at home, stay at home, go to work, have a kid. Or don't.

Remember in kindergarten when we learned that "You don't have to put someone down to bring yourself up" phrase?

Still true. I should know. I was going to be a kindergarten teacher, but........


The Boob Nazi said...

I'm guilty of saying the one about SAHMs.... But I don't mean it in a "because it's mindless" way. I mean it in a "I'm not a kid person" kind of way.

But you know, I am going to blog less because I have better things to do.

Tristin said...

Don't leave out the mitigating tactic often used: "But that's not anything against you at all! I don't want you to think I am judging you, cuz I'm totally not."

Nothing beats judging people while telling them you aren't judging. But I'm not judging people that do that. I have nothing against people that do that at all.

Brandi said...

My visiting teacher came today and instead of giving me the VT lesson for the month (about renewing our covenants) she instead pulled out Elder Bednar's talk "Things as They Really Are" and then proceeded to inform me that my blog (which has been quite the subject of unkind gossip in my ward for more than a year now)was going to ruin my life , my marriage and my eternal salvation, because I am not my "real self" on my blog (because I suffer from social anxiety, and therefore I'm much more outgoing on the internet--which, by the way, is the more authentic me-- than I am in person.

Anyway, she finished up her lesson by saying that she was going to blog regularly but she knew it was Satan's tool for separating us from our bodies. So she only blogs about her children and spiritual thoughts.

Talk about feather rankling.

Hilary said...

Can I get an amen! One choice isn't right for everyone. :)

Alisha said...

Brilliant post! I hate how I've been guilty of that :(

Sarah said...

This is why we're friends.

Ru said...

Hahaha, I'm so guilty of this. Whoops.

(Of course, I don't have any kids, or a husband...but I'm sure I have good excuses for those things that make me feel better about my ring-less finger and empty womb, while also subtly slamming those who do.)

gurrbonzo said...

I wanted to comment but then I realized that commenting would make me seem like I care and I'M TOO BUSY TO CARE.

Just kidding.

If I start a Owning Your Decisions club, you can be the education and rage coordinator.

April said...

Great post. The sad part is that I know I've done this.

Oh, and you left out the ultimate female judgment. Breastfeeding. Women who don't breastfeed are selfish and basically guaranteeing their child a life of stupidity, diabetes, and other horrific things. Just sayin'.

Janssen said...

Wow, do I want Brandi's visiting teacher or what?

JustMe said...

Brandi - do you ask your VT to leave your house and never come back? Cause I would have. I then I would have informed the RS president of the visit and tell her you don't need self-righteous sisters coming to see you. What an ass.

And - what's your blog??

amanda said...

I wish I'd never been guilty of this kind of talk. The best remedy is to be thrown into the other person's shoes and see how you deal with it.

I sadly always judged people that got married after a short dating period. ...then I married Jonathan after dating him for 7 months and ate my words. And we're happy.

I always thought I'd be a SAHM, but you better believe I'll be right back at work as soon as I'm healed and figure out babysitters.

James McOmber said...

Doing or saying something normal + people reacting like you're stupid or crazy = I want to kill everybody.

Melinda said...

" and rage coordinator..." That's hilarious. And if I were the RS pres of the aforementioned VTer, we'd be having a seriously unpleasant conversation, because you can't be pleasant with women like that. They're too busy being "righteous" to consider anyone's feelings. (Obviously there's some irony somewhere here since I'm now judging someone -again.)

Emily said...

Stephanie. I love you. I love this post. That's all.

JJ said...

sadly, I have been on both sides of this...though my still all-time favorite comment that was said to me at my youngest brothers wedding..."if I was single I would be like you and choose a career over marriage, but..."

Mrs. Clark said...

Boob Nazi: You will be a kid person once you have kids. And thank you, MCB, for pointing out that it's nobody's business but your own whether you go into debt, have kids or not, or work or not! Brandi, I would love to read your blog.

Me said...

Great post! I had a friend tell me once that she would love to be a SAHM, but she really felt she needed to contribute to society instead. Nice!