fact, theory, conspiracy

Fact: If you have a blog, a facebook, a twitter, a tumblr, a flickr, and a formspring, you need to re-evaluate how much time you spend on the internet, talking to people you don't know in real life.

Theory: Planned Parenthood's main form of unwanted pregnancy/STD prevention is shame. They shame you into not doing something stupid. Particularly shameful? When the medical assistant asking you about your knowledge of "barrier methods" looks about 12. I felt like screaming I HAVE A JOB, A MORTGAGE, A MASTERS DEGREE, AND A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP, I DO NOT NEED PLAN B.*

I need to graduate from planned parenthood.

Conspiracy: Hipsters must all secretly hate each other. There's no way I'd let someone I really like go out with the hair/terrible pants/vintage grossness that some of these people go out with. I wonder what the end goal is? Who can convince the hipster queen to post the most unflattering photos of themselves online? In which case, I could probably name a few winners. But I won't. Along with being horrid dressers, hipsters are vicious. And I don't want to be labeled a "hater."

Isn't fact, theory, conspiracy a fun game? You can play too!

*When I'm embarrassed, I like to list my accomplishments to make myself feel better about myself. Funny how lots of papers resulting in lots of debt makes me feel better.

1 comment:

CaitStClair said...

Hah! Yes, and yes.
PP definitely DOES use shame, at least in Utah. When I was in Moab and DID need Plan B the "nice" matronly lady made me cry before she would give it to me. (Well, maybe not need but I wanted it just in case even though the risk was super low.)