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11/7/10

insert grumpy face here.

Can we all agree that asking someone when they are going to have a baby is just rude? Especially if that is the only thing you ask them? Ever. Every. Time. You. See. Them.

Can we also agree that reminding someone how long they have been married, in an attempt to force them to have a baby is just pointless?


3.5 years. I know. I was there.

18 comments:

Linds said...

Yes. Very Rude. Right on up there with people that ask me if my husband and I are done having kids (we have 4), like it's any of their dang business. My kids are happy, well nourished, well nurtured, intelligent kids. The end.

Sarah said...

You should just say "we can't thanks for opening that wound" turn around and walk away.

Colt said...

One of my friends got tired of her ward asking her about children. So she found the biggest gossip in the Relief Society and told her about she had been trying, but was unable to and how much it hurt when people asked. This spread like wild fire. She then correctly assumed that if she had a baby at some point it would be a "miracle baby" and thus even more loved.

Is this ethical? Most likely no. Is it awesome? I certainly think so.

NIKOL said...

Yes. Very rude.

Even more than just being rude, asking about people's family planning is a potential can o' worms. I have known so many people who've desperately wanted to have children but struggled with fertility issues. And I would see nosy people in the ward ask them why they hadn't had kids yet. As if they wanted to give them a detailed medical history about all their insemination appointments. Or that they'd want to share their very painful and private experience with infertility. So they'd just have to force a smile and say, "Maybe someday" or "hopefully soon." It's heartbreaking.

Shum Girl said...

We waited 9.5 years to have a baby. We tried before but unsuccessfully. I am very glad that it took that long, I was not emotionally ready at 23-28 to have kids even if I thought I was. You just tell people "Some people can't have kids." That will shut them up, or it should. If it doesn't just tell them to shut up.

Sheans said...

You think it will stop when you have a baby, but it doesn't. Then they just ask you when you are having your next one. Because you can't space them out, you know. You have to have them all RIGHT NOW!!!

It's awesome.

Fig said...

It was five years before we got pregnant. Not because of infertility or any other issues, but because we wanted to wait.

I started giving answers like "We're just waiting to see if the marriage works out first" and "Dude, we've been trying but we're not sure we're doing it right. Care to demonstrate?"

Serio.

Becky said...

yeah, I just say - "I'm infertile thanks for reminding me!"

Kristen said...

I usually say something along the lines of "well we just tried a few minutes ago in [insert location e.g. your bathroom, the church parking lot]...I'll let you know in a few months if it sticks!"

Lena said...

Hey, people can ask me when I'm having babies and point out the 4.5 years we have been married all they want, but hey, it ain't happening for at least another year. No matter what kind of looks they give me.

Kelly said...

agreed.

or asking them when they do get pregnant if they meant to. haha.

Kelly said...

sorry im back but i read through some comments and had to agree again. My mom and i both have health issues and it took her 9 years to get prego so we thought we should start "trying" sooner than we wanted. We were glad we did with all the fertility stuff we had to do. Then we finally had our little boy (by pure miracle)and now all we get are rude comments about how we DO have a baby.

I guess I just cant please ANYONE these days!! Sheesh!!

AzĂșcar said...

It's time to start giving answers back.

"Sex is unclean" should be a nice start.

Mrs. Clark said...

We waited 3 years (actually just over two, since I was pregnant for 9 months), and I was told I was "selfish" by a male co-worker. But it is nobody's business but yours.

{B} said...

Just tell them that you have been practicing...a LOT and that practice makes perfect, right? That's what I did. :)

laura loo said...

dude, i've been waiting to deliver this line for when ppl start asking me that same question, but i'll let you use it. because i'm nice like that. ready? here it is:

Rude person: So when are you gonna have a baby?

Me or You: Oh I dunno. How's your libido?

RP: What?

MoY: Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were talking about ridiculously personal things, is that none of my business?

and then if they still don't get it, or if they try to defend asking you that, you say, "don't ask me that question ever again or i will train my baby to eat your children." and then smile and say, "loves!" and walk away.

sue said...

This is the line my sister told me to use when people ask me that rude question:

"Why, are you trying to get rid of yours?"

Natalia said...

Lets add weight to that list