When I started Grad School, my professors were always talking about providing "timely and meaningful feedback" for students. So they would probably frown on the fact that I have papers here dated from November 30th. (Wait, Wait, Professor McStandardyson, I've been out of school since December 17th, is 2.5 weeks still considered timely?)
Anyway, I promised myself I would get them all graded over the break, and I had very good intentions. But first I had very important things to do, like debate the merits of picking up Ghost Whisperer* into my T.V. routine, or if I instead should focus on more important things, like Mike and Molly.**
Fortunately, my guilt/anxiety complex kicked in shortly after Christmas, and I got all organized and ready to start a massive grading marathon. Unfortunately, every time I tried to log onto Skyward, (my school's online grading system,) I was foiled. The system was down! The system was down!
Now, could I have gone old school and grade everything by hand and enter it in later, but that seems like a waste of time. Like doing the job twice. Well, maybe 1.5 times. I don't have that kind of time. Not with two weeks off for Christmas break, and Jennifer Love Hewitt's*** surgically altered pouty lips solving mysteries.
Last night, however, I decided to try logging on around midnight, just for fun. Miracle! Apparently Skyward is up from about Midnight to 5 a.m.
Are you getting what I'm putting down? That's right. I've been pulling all nighters. Just like college. For those of you who want to play along, or are so old and senile to remember what college is like, here is a recipe for an all nighter:
1.Caffeine. Tons of Caffeine. Hide the evidence later.
2. Mac N Cheese. In college, when your metabolism was that of a jack rabbit, you could eat a whole box in one sitting. If you do that now, you'll feel really bad about yourself. Best to spread the box over the course 5 hours. If you get snacky in between sessions chocolate is always a good idea.
3. When eating 3,000 calories worth of chocolate makes you incapable of grading one more paper on Modern Rhetoric, bundle up and take a walk. Ignore any inner naysayers that tell you that walking around in a snow storm in the dark at 3:00 am is weird. Also, try walking in the middle of usually busy streets. It will make you feel powerful. Powerful enough to stay up until Skyward crashes at dawn.
4. Gilmore Girls on DVD, perfect grading background noise, and when you feel weary, remind yourself how Rory Gilmore would never quit grading before the job was done. Then again, Rory didn't go to a State School and become a public servant. Damn you, Gilmore. Damn you and your perfect hair and high standardized test scores.
5. Log on to your Gmail account frequently to see if anyone is around to chat. Bemoan the fact that college really is over, and all your friends are now adults and not randomly online at all hours of the night. This also impedes on finding a companion for greasy food runs, which is probably for the best.
6. Ignore your Spouse when he accuses you of having a Peter Pan Complex. Remind him that it is his fault you have any interest Ghost Whisperer in the first place.
Did I miss anything?
**I will name my firstborn child after the person who can guess what piqued my interest in Mike and Molly. I'm sort of serious. I'm terrible at picking out names. Contest excluded to people named after Book of Mormon characters, or have weird spellings of normal names.
***I refuse to confirm the spelling on her last name.