i don't trust you if

1. You have unusual facial hair. Male or female. (Including but not limited soul-patches, weirdly manicured side burns, and most abhorrently of all: ironic mustaches.)

2. You sincerely enjoy working out.

3. You like Sarah Palin, or her familiar, Glen Beck.

4. You are "inspired" by material objects, or photos of material objects. (Thanks for the rage, Gurr.)

5. You believe that the "Bachelor" is not scripted/manipulated in some way.

6. You wear clothing from Urban Outfitters, or Anthropologie. Yes, this mean sometimes I do not trust myself.

7. You turn the words "thrift," and "gift," into verbs. (Can I get an "Amen?")

8. You have more than one blog.

9. You don't like school.

10. You like Thomas Kinkade.

11. You don't eat carbs.

This doesn't mean I don't LIKE you. I like tons of people. I'm just suspicious of you/think you aren't entirely human/am upset that you aren't sharing whatever you are on/would like some of your Kool-Aid, etc.

Who don't you trust?


JJ said...

finally watched the tivo'd bachelor episodes. is any of it real?

dont trust any news anchor person.

Stephanie said...


I just don't know. (Shakes head in confusion and shame.)

NIKOL said...

I was on the same page as you until you got to the part about having more than one blog. I have three. Four if you count that secret diet one that my friends and I abandoned after two months...

Lindsey said...

I have A facial hair. (As in one). I don't trust myself because of it.

I also don't trust people who "forget to eat."

Jane of Seagull Fountain said...

People who mix up your and you're. I may or may not have done this once myself.

On the extra blog--if you make money it's no longer suspicious.

And worse than thrift as a verb is calling used items "thrifted."

Tristin said...

I don't trust people that don't trust anything that comes from science, the government, or any other part of "the establishment". Granted, a healthy dose of skepticism is invaluable to avoiding dubious claims and falsehoods. However, it becomes a problem when you automatically discount truths simply because they come from the establishment. I'll leave it at that, because I don't trust you if you have to ask me for specifics.

Kristine and Ryan said...

Wait... you mean the bachelor doesn't seriously see a future with vampire girl? My world just collapsed.

Don't get me started on Thomas Kinkade.

Stephanie said...


Thats okay, just pass the Kool-Aid

@Lindsey, the "forget to eaters" are lying.

AzĂșcar said...

Uh-oh. I have, at last count, 10 blogs?

~j. said...

Thrifted, Gifted, gag me.

I don't like school.

I don't trust liars.

Lisa Louise said...

sorry steep, I really do LOVE to run. I know it makes me crazy though, does that make it better?

Linds said...

A few times I can understand more the one blog. I have a family blog and a recipe blog. But other then that. Amen!

Stephanie said...

um, @Jane

Did you notice I did the your you're thing IN THIS POST.

Thats okay, I am not to be trusted.

But I fixed it.

JustMe said...

*I can deal with facial hair
*Working out? what's that?
*Glen makes me want to hide in my basement with my thumb in my mouth. Sarah mostly amuses me
*I don't know how you get inspired by material objects
*Bachelor - can't believe ppl watch it
*WISH I could wear Anthropologie
*Thrift/gift - no verbs here
*Hard to believe - but I have NO blogs ;-( I'm sure this is a great loss to the blogging community
*I love learning - be so long since I was in school I can't remember if I like it or not
*Thomas Kinkade - barf, barf, barf
*Carbs? you mean there are other food groups?

You still like me even though you know I vote Republican ;-)

meagan said...

YES! Yes! Yes! To all of the above. Well, except the extra blogs. I see your point but I unashamedly participate in quite a few. Does it matter less if they're group blogs?

Also: I don't trust people who advertise blog postings on facebook or twitter or via text (gross)

I also don't trust blog giveaways in general, but especially when you have to do the free advertising for them for "extra entries" etc.

Also: I think I mentioned my disgust with Thrifting before, but I don't think the point can be overstated.

lifeofdi said...

People who use then instead of than.

I also agree with not trusting those who don't trust "the establishment," those who forget to eat, those who like working out, and I wrote a whole blog about how much I hate people saying they were gifted something. NO! Someone GAVE you something. They GAVE you a gift. They did not gift it to you.

I tend to mistrust those who don't like any animals. I have friends like that, but I still don't get it. Not being a dog or cat or snake person, I get. Not liking any animals is baffling and kinda sketchy.

AnYoNe WhO tYpEs LiKe ThIs a) has too much time, and b) is not to be trusted.

Anyone who is content to never travel farther than 100 miles from they grew up makes me suspicious.

People who don't like lolcats.

SGOT said...

Can you post who you do trust? People who love argyle should be #1.

Stephanie said...


I thought that was a given.

Mrs. Clark said...

Hey! I do love argyle, but I only have one sweater, and it's pretty old. Is that okay?

Will not watch The Bachelor. It makes me want to throw up, plus I am scared that there are that many shallow girls out there, who make shallowness seem cool.

I've worked out consistently for over 5 years but I still kind of hate it. I have one Anthropologie shirt, but I got it for $15, does that count?

Colt said...

If you had ever seen me with my beard, there is no way you would have ever trusted me. Which brings up a question. Can you start to trust someone if they shave?

Lena said...

Hey, I have no real comment on this post, but I did find a great (looking) tutorial for a crochet hook clutch that I figured I would pass along just incase you ever get around to actually making that one for me..... :) Love you!

Shanna said...

Wait wait wait. I use gift as a verb! And I just looked it up in the dictionary and it says it's a verb and a noun! Please, enlighten me as to what's so wrong with this?

I agree with everything else, especially the Glenn Beck one.

Lady Elaine said...

I definitely do not trust people that don't share a good recipe. They get all weird when you ask for it & then never respond to emails when you ask again and again for it. You didn't share the goods & now you are not to be trusted!

megan said...

I don't trust you if you participate in pyramid schemes. Or if you got married after knowing each other less than six months.

Stephanie said...

@megan I am very untrustworthy, and not because I want you to join my multi-level marketing corporation.

I agree though, on boths counts.

Julie said...

Confession: I bought a book at B&N the other day. It was a political thriller. Looked interesting. But silly me, I forgot to look at the author. After getting home and upon further inspection, I realized it was by was yours truly, Glenn Beck. In an attempt to get my 10 bucks worth, I'm now trying to read said political thriller with an open mind...

Kacy said...


Alice Wills Gold said...

I used to not trust anyone but I am getting better at it.

Glenn Beck is spelled with two n's...pretty sure. Does that make you not trust me even more?

I hate the bachelor.

I only have one blog.

Republican all the way, but I will still be friends with you, if you read my blog back.

Came over from mormon mommy blogs. wanted you to know that they actually give you some traffic...although I may be the only one. I don't trust it.

Rachel said...

I just found your blog and I think it is hilarious! Anyway. I also don't trust people who take pictures of their food because who has time for that? And I mean, I love food a lot.

ChristyLove said...

I think this post means you don't trust me.

I could be wrong.

Kristen Cawley said...

I do not trust Oprah's Book Club. She has recommended some crazy-ass books.