all about me

Because why pretend that this blog serves any other purpose? Sure, I could claim that I write because I really want to develop my talents, or inspire people, but whatever. Really? I like to talk about myself.

1. A major Child Bride life philosophy: I can do anything for a year. You would be surprised how many major life events to which I apply this mantra. Including but not limited to- graduate school, substitute teaching, waitressing, serving in various church callings, marriage (hey, I thought it, don't judge,) real-teaching, and living in my grandparent's basement while they served a mission.

Usually, I do it for a year, and I come to Conclusion A or Conclusion B.

Conclusion A: I can do this for a year, but if I do it for one day longer, I will incredible Hulk myself out of the situation. Hulk Smash! Applies to graduate school, waitressing subbing, and living in my grandparent's basement. (I did live there more than a year, and I did incredible Hulk on several occasions.)

Conclusion B: Hey, I actually like this, and shall continue to do this. Marriage,(phew!) real-teaching.

Things still undetermined: Owning pets, current church callings.

Today, however, I proved my theory wrong. My school received a grant to give all the Juniors the ACT for free. We had to provide all the proctors and supervisors. While supervising, you are not allowed to read, grade, or do anything besides stare at stressed-out teens for 3 hours.

I do not know how people do that for a living. If you are a full-time ACT proctor, I salute you. You either do not have ADD, or possess a near-lethal prescription for Ritalin.

In fact, I grew so bored that my highlight of the day was watching a student I really dislike getting kicked out of the test, and having his form voided, for texting.

2. That is another thing about me: I glory in karmic justice. After a year of constantly telling that student to stop texting in my class, it was nice to see him receive a tangible consequence. (All I could do was take his phone for the day.) Especially since he clearly thought he was the exception to the rules. The instructions state no less than 5 times that the use of any electronic device is prohibited, moron.

3. I can do anything for a year, but that doesn't mean I don't harbor a whole lot of righteous indignation the whole 12 months.

Does my theory work for you? Am I quitter? Or just awesome? What level of Dante's Inferno would be reserved for being unusually pleased when douchebags are punished?

Speaking of which, say a prayer that Parent Teacher Conferences goes well tomorrow.


Caroline said...

"Am I quitter? Or just awesome?"

Definitely awesome.

Speaking of Dante's Inferno and our ADD-riddled lives, I stumbled across this video just moments before I read your post - it might be one of those things that's only funny because I blew entirely too much time on his site 4 years ago, but it sure made me snicker when I found it again :)

Andrew and Becca said...

I do the same year thing (mine is usually 3 years, however) for things like school and commuting and crappy jobs. However, you must be prepared for my angry judgment if you adopt a pet and don't commit for the long haul.

Tristin said...

I don't think it's quitting if you do it for a full year before deciding it's not for you. Except for church callings: if God wants you to be the nursery leader for 10 years straight, you better not question His Divine Authority. If you do, plan on leaving your temple recommend on the bishop's desk after your announcement.
I once wished a man dead and he died. True story. Karma is a whore; don't play if you can't pay.

AzĂșcar said...

You can only take his phone away for the day? Is that school policy? J takes his kids' phones away and makes the parent come pick it up.

Unless you are an "A" student, and then you are allowed to use your phone whenever you want.

Colt said...

I live for shadenfreude, mostly because I am a bad person. But, when the universe deans to punish someone for being a moron it lets me believe in purpose once again.

Stephanie said...

@Azucar: Indeed! I mean, I can take it to the office and they have to pick it up from there at the end of the day, but that is about it.

Because the walls have ears, I'm refraining from my rant on how my administration sometimes caters to the teens, and not the official handbook....oops

@Becca: fear not. I may not decide that I LIKE my pets after a year, but I am keeping them. Mostly because no one else would.

mommy dearest said...

I once tried decided to try motherhood for a year. 24 1/2 years later best decision of my life. Except for the last two with your brother the infidel.

MJ said...

I'm going to live in my bubble and assume that Tristin is joking about the calling comment.

I'm with you in putting up with something for a year. Only before I was married, it was 6 months. If I wasn't happy with how things were going after 6 months, I changed my situation.

Now that I have kids and a husband, and responsibilities, I can't really do that. I've been at a craptastic job for 4 years now, longer than they deserve, for sure.

And Caroline, thanks for the link. My son thought it was hilarious and was singing along the 2nd time through. I didn't play it a 3rd, lol.

Sheyenne said...

Trying something for a year is pretty good way to give it a try and not feel like a quitter if it really just isn't for you. Also, it's not wrong to be glad that kid got kicked out. I don't even know him and I'm glad he got kicked out. And I would really like to hear what parent-teacher conferences are like from the perspective of a teacher.

Auntie Em said...

see and my dad has always told me you can do anything as long as you know there is an end to it...s o big thumbs up to you.

Julie said...

Hopefully NO level of Dante's inferno, since I too harbor no small amount of gleeful pleasure when morons are punished.

But if there is, I'll see you there...

Jenna said...

Wow, what did you think about for 3 straight hours? Seriously?! I could not have done that, ever.

Did you count dots on the ceiling?

Stephanie said...

@ MJ: Fear not, Tristin is totally joking.

@Jenna: I did not count dots in the ceiling, but I did count the days left in school.

It was a lot like sitting through church.

Mandy said...

Um, I proctor the SATs and they say not to grade stuff or do anything else, and I always (ALWAYS!) do other stuff. If I had to sit and stare at the kids for all of those long hours, I might just die.

Are you sure you really have to follow the rules on that one?

Rachel said...

I would say you are seriously awesome. Mostly I have to use it a lot right now for things like living in my aunt's basement and my two church callings that I hate. But a few months it will be all over and maybe things will get better. Or worse. Either way they'll be different.

Ms. Quantz said...

Awe. Some. I'm a teacher and get more than a little satisfaction when that kid who makes my life hell gets a little hell dished back.