four years is 48 months longer than Brad and Emily's relationship will last.

Greetings internet!

Today is my anniversary, so let us all stop and wonder at the miracle of my 4 year old marriage. Woooo.

Spousetotheultimateproviderman and I celebrated last weekend by going out of town. And by out of town, I mean traveling from one suburb of Salt Lake City to another so that we could spend the weekend in a bed and breakfast eating chocolate cake for breakfast. Chocolate cake is breakfast food at bed and breakfasts, so long as it is also served with fruit. The things you learn.

Today, the actual anniversary, has proven not so exciting. Things that put a damper on celebrating:

1. 7:00 am faculty meetings where we don't end early enough for me to actually eat the provided breakfast.

2. The student who told me today that my hair looked frizzy, "like a black man!*" and followed up with "but it is okay, you are married, you don't have to look pretty anymore."

Is it misogynist week on the nature channel or something? Between freaky "I want to wave the Proclamation in your face" lady, and "women are just shiny pretty objects for men to collect" student, I feel like we need to consider resurrecting Alice Paul. (Tangent: let us all take a break to imagine an enraged Alice Paul sitting up in her grave, screaming, and then hauling ass out of her grave to right all the gender-oriented injustices of the world. Kapow! Equality! Bam! No more sexual harassment! I'm sorry. My feminist fantasies often get mixed up with my sci-fi fantasies. Please disregard.)

3. Anyway, I am also really upset at myself for not responding to the student in an appropriate way. I should have sternly rebuked him, explained why his behavior was inappropriate, and alerted him to the consequences should his behavior continue.

Instead I sort of ignored it/make a weird joke and moved on to the next group of students. Sigh. Feminism fail. Please let me keep my ID card. I promise to do better.

4. The massive amounts of tests I need to grade by next week. I should probably stop blogging. Julius Caesar awaits. (Yes, I love that I am grading Julius Caesar finals on the Ides of March. English nerds unite!)

I am as constant as the North Star,

Stephanie Mormon Child Bride.

*Racist AND Sexist. What a gem. I'm waiting for the homophobic remark so I can label him a true triple-threat.


S.A.R. said...

The Ides of March! I just had to say it. It's one of the few things I remember from Julius Caesar. Though unlike in Julius Caesar the Ides of March is actually something to celebrate by eating chocolate cake for breakfast-- something I will be copying on my anniversary in 4 months.

I hate it when teenage/young adult men feel like they can say stuff like that to a woman bc she's married. Recently such a boy called me "old," and thought he was being hilarious. And I wanted to slap him.

jnyfritz said...

Congratulations on four years! I have to admit that I have the same Alice Paul as zombie-feminist-avenger fantasies as well!!

Erin said...

I was in the process of watching the episode on hulu as I was scrolling through my blog feed and I saw this title.
Booooo spoiled.
Womp womp. There goes my afternoon.

.....In other news, congrats on your anniversary.

Stephanie said...


I am actually really sorry for spoiling it for you. Really sorry. Like I am suprised/horrified about how much remorse I feel. Oh Bachelor, you fickle beast.

Please accept my heartfelt apologies.

Lena said...

I used to bring my AP European History teacher a Caesar salad on the Ides of March. It was a fun inside joke. Makes me sad when people don't know the obscure holidays.

Julie said...

Hahaha! I heart you, Steph! Happy anniversary to you and Spouseman... May the next year be filled with many a sexist comments for you to make up your blunder with.

amy said...

please, please, please blog again. that's all.

Erin said...

Your heartfelt apologies are accepted.
Also, you would enjoy my sociology of gender class. We spend lots of time talking about sexist comments. Its a hoot and a half.
And yes, the Bachelor is a fickle beast that I am unfortunately a slave for. It happens.

Katrina said...

you got married 5 days after me... happy anniversary month to us both!

Ms. Quantz said...

So I just found this blog. I need this blog. I was wondering if I was the only one around here with some liberal tendencies...