There are a few events in my life that repeat themselves so often that I just accept them. For instance, come every August I turn into a raging insomniac. I don't know why. End of summer blues? Birthday rage? Mysteries.
Likewise, I always turn into a terrible blogger in springtime. It's definitely not due to the nice sunny weather found every year in Utah. I can't even use excessive sunshine as an excuse.
But you know what? I've accepted these things. They do not bother me. I intend to turn into a vampire come August. And I will blog sporadically throughout spring.
SEGUE MACHINE: OTHER THINGS THAT DO NOT BOTHER ME.
1. Sex in books. Sometimes people suggest books to me, and at the end of their glowing recommendation, exclaim "And it's clean! You don't have to worry about sex or anything!" Now I'm not saying that I require book sex, or that I seek out book sex explicitly, I'm just saying that it won't deter me from reading the book. I’m not worried.
People have sex. It is part of the human experience. What does bother me are people who classify ALL sex as dirty and censor-worthy. There are smutty porny books out there. Grapes of Wrath is not one of them. You know? Nod, please.
My standards for movie and TV viewing are a little different, but I guess I’d have to say that in general, humans being humans does not bother me. Because that’s what sex is, when you take your prude glasses off. Humans being humans. Mom, if you are reading this, don’t worry, I don’t watch porn. I do watch Shakespeare in Love.
2. Swears. They do not bother me. I understand that there are places where it is not appropriate. I do not have some weird hierarchy where one swear is worse than the other. Somewhere, my past self is proudly proclaiming to her peers that she has never said the “f” word. My current self is waving at her happily, and frantically trying to cross the time-space continuum to tell her that life gets a whole lot better after junior high, damnit.
3. Teens. As I teacher, I get a lot of the patronizing, “I don’t know how you spend all day with high schoolers!” I don’t know how you spend all day with office douchebags, or small children. But to each their own. Teenagers are like regular people. Some are nice, some are annoying. Yes, they tend to be a little emotional and extreme, but they are also very creative and funny. Their pre-frontal cortex has not developed fully, but neither has their single-minded –to-the-point-of-insanity cortex. I mean, come on, some of them don’t even know if they are Republicans yet! Do you see the influence I have here?
So, there you have it. Several things that don’t bother me, that in retrospect seem vaguely related. Can I hijack my own post though, for a bit of housecleaning?
SOMETHING THAT DOES BOTHER ME.
People who steal my jokes, rearrange them a bit, and put them in their own blog posts. I was reading a post the other day, laughed at a little jokey phrase the author used, and realized it was funny to me BECAUSE I WROTE IT. Was the post a word-for-word copy? No, but my joke was inserted, very word-for-wordy, and now that blogger’s two readers are laughing at a stolen joke.
Immature of me? Sure. But still, write your own jokes. You can do better.
What doesn’t bother you? What does? I’m equal opportunity!