not like riding a bike

Hi interwebs.

In case you were wondering, blogging is not like riding a bike. I keep opening the new post window, and can't think of what to say. What did I used to talk about?

Mormon rage

All of those things are still an important part of my life, I just forgot how to write about them in a way that is even remotely amusing. Also, I think somehow I lost a lot of my funny. Sometime last year. I now replace funny with profanity. Shit. Damn. Hell. Pretend I told a joke instead, if swears offend you.

If swears offend you, why are you reading my blog? If you are reading my blog because you get some sick high from being pissed off at strangers online...well good on you. I totally do that too. Except instead of swears I get pissed off at things like not acknowledging privilege (Everyone could be as successful as me if they just tried harder,) and not so subtle hints about their husband's income (Even though he works for my dad, Hubs is totally a self-made man.)

But it is okay, according to the gospel of Stephanie, to read blogs just because they sort of piss you off. Sometimes feeling superior is the best medicine, and also cheap, and doesn't require health insurance.

In case you haven't noticed, my ADD is out of control this year. Most of the time, I consider my ADD under control. It has been under control since college, when I got to pick my classes and schedule, and really loved what I was studying. Despite scary pamphlets, I've managed to get multiple degrees, get married, have friends, and stay employed. ADD/Mischief managed.

Recently though, I've really struggled. I feel like I'm re-learning skills that I thought I had mastered. Things like Remembering Deadlines and Staying Organized. It is funny how these things come back and haunt you.

Managing my ADD though has re-taught me a few things though:

1. I am not my ADD. I am still a good teacher and person, even though I've hit a rough spot. I have a student who was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and his mom is very worried, even though he does well in school/life. I think she has forgotten that her kid is the same kid as before, just with more awareness of how his brain works. I'm already pretty damn aware of how my brain works, so suck it ADD. I will manage the hell out of you.

2. ADD means my desk will never be organized, but (some of) my lessons will be awesome.

Remember when I told you I couldn't get into Modern Family? I keep forgetting to tell you that I have repented. Modern Family is really funny. Please don't tell me it isn't cool anymore, or how the second season just isn't as funny. My heart can't handle it. I really like Cam.

So. Checklist. Teens. Done. TV. Done. Mormon rage? I will give a pass for today, since it seems to freak my Mom out sometimes. Uchtdorf is hot, even if I don't like being compared to flowers. That isn't rage, just a personal preference.

What is new with you? Catch me up on the most awesome parts of your life.


MJ said...

I awesomely got fired, and made out with my boss, and my teenage daughter might be getting impregnated this very weekend.
Not really. But I did quit my job. I've been there longer than I've been married, and it kinda scares the hell outta me. But I'm thinking my sanity is more important than some job, and thanks to fb, I'll still be in touch. Sad? Maybe. I'm good with it.
I have ADD too. I'm much better now that I know-I'm more aware that it might just be me, and not everyone is a jack-wad.

kdstentzel said...

1. Swears tend to be my favorite mode of communication. I suspect this is because other people look super offended when I say "SHIT" in public, and that entertains me. (Because I am immature.)

2. My desk will never be clean because I'm a slob who married another slob. We are messy together.

3. I also dislike being compared to a flower, or receiving other "Mormon" female-specific complements (you're so nurturing, you are fulfilling the greatest calling in life by being a mother, etc.). I'd rather just be told that I'm funny or f-ing delightful.

That's all I've got. Cheers.

Stephanie said...

MJ, Everyone may still be a jack-wad. But probably not.

Sanity is much more important than some job. I'm sort of jealous.

kdstentzel, AMEN. Just tell me a compliment specific to ME. ME ME ME. (I'm funny and effing delightful too.)

Brittany said...

first time commenter and let me just tell you i feel like we should be best friends. i've been following your blog for some time now, and agree with you 100% on everything you post.
if i haven't said shit, damn, hell or bitch in the last hour, i'm having an off day.

Andrew and Becca said...

I'm so glad you're back! I kept reading through old posts and needing another one.

The only thing I've been doing with my life is pretending I have ADD to justify always getting "distracted" from doing all the crap I have to do and rewatching 30 rock over and over again.

Fig said...

I am majorly failing (not really failing, but, like failblog-failing) my semester right now because I too have lost all sense of deadlines and organization and keeping track of my shit.

And I love that you said mischief managed. Because if I could personally select a perfect compliment for me, it would be that I am superior at reading/memorizing/passionately loving Harry Potter books.

Heather said...

Today my 2yo said "Oh shit! That hurt!" I wasn't sure whether to be proud or ashamed. I'll stick with proud.

And I'm laughing because you just called an old guy hot. Though I must agree. I just probably would have said "handsome" or "distinguished," but hot works too.

And this is my first comment on your blog. Hi!

Also, the lack of acknowledgement of privilege thing bugs me too. Big time. I've had to stop talking to some friends over the whole Occupy thing, because they're all "Just pull yourself up by the bootstraps, poor people." And I can't keep biting my tongue and being nice. said...

I have been busy canning and storing food for the winter like a deranged, plus sized squirrel. Let me also just say for the record that my inner rebellious side absolutely hates that I enjoy such a cliche, Molly Mormonesque thing like canning. So to balance things out I try very hard to listen to entirely inappropriate music while I can my heart out. And I use an occasional dammit to keep things real.

~j. said...

~ I went to Hawai'i, and can't stop using the apostrophe in that word.

~ One day I kept track of how many miles I drive on a typical day, just getting my kids to Their Things. I stopped counting at 120 miles, and then I cried.

~ Today my 7-year-old dropped my laptop on the kitchen floor. Said laptop will turn on, but the only thing the screen will show is white.

~ Watching Cake Boss makes me want to live in New Jersey. (This is not new, it's just how things are.)

Stephanie said...

~j. It is okay. I submit a bunch of times too.

I'm jealous of your trip, but not your laptop woes.

Bunkersdown- I feel that way about sewing. Sometimes when I'm feeling super crafty I turn on R rated movies to balance the universe.

I will sew you something sickeningly cute in exchange for some canned goods. If that seems to Mormon we can high five and say "bitchin!" after.

Cortney said...

-My graduate problem super totes loves this teaching style-

I hate how she asks "What's a sentence?" and then when the kids try and answer she interrupts with the "CLASS". Also, she ignores the kid trying to ask a question, then shames him with the rule, then when he tries to ask again, she tells him "I don't need any hands up right now, we're learnin'". Ugggh. Rage. Srsly, watch the whole thing. Awful.

- I logged onto my classes, and lo and behold, I had a surprise 3rd graduate class for the 2nd 8 weeks. With two lessons due, which had to be implemented in class, with evidence. Oh, and I had only 4 days to plan them, coordinate with my mentor teacher to shoehorn them in, teach them, and yeah, each corresponded with a lengthy assignment. W.T.H?

- On a positive note, it snowed today, school was cancelled, and I'm letting myself be lazy for a few hours before I use this afternoon to get caught up on schoolwork.

- Regarding privilege: I shared "Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack" and Tim Wise's video "The Pathology of White Privilege" with my fellow grad students on our "Diversity" discussion. Surprisingly, it was well received, and the professor sent out an e-mail to everyone referencing it. I almost didn't post it because I just didn't want to deal with it, but I'm glad I did.

Stephanie said...


Ew. I have a lot of "friends" who loooove that teaching style. It depresses me.

Student. Teaching. Sucks. As did many of my teaching classes.

I've got Unpacking on my nook. Maybe I will get to it when the term ends...

Crystal said...

I'm back in school (I'm currently in class right now!) and I tend to notice that my blogging picks up while I'm studying, which is apparently contrary to when you are teaching. My posts don't make a lot sense, but I find there's lots to gripe about anyways.

Apparently, as with Bunkersdown, I have allowed my Molly Mormonness take over too. However, when I am crocheting (I'm working on a blanket for my Aunt & Uncle for Christmas, because I'm poor) I watch the crap out of Sons of Anarchy and have dirty dreams about Charlie Hunnam (and don't feel guilty about it).

jordan said...

I think you're absolutely hilarious and I love swears.

Krista said...

Oh, I'm single handedly tanking my business and schooling, because I don't want it to be winter and am trying to spend as much time outside AS POSSIBLE!

Stephanie said...


I would have never graduated if I didn't blog/internet shop in class. I needed to be just a little distracted or I would fall into a rage/boredom coma. So, good for you.

the mom~ said...

Ha! Those are my choice cuss words too, but I also like piss :)
You're a hoot, love reading your blog.

ChristyLove said...

I have no interesting updates for you. My life and cursing habbit and some of the time I used to spend dry humping has been swallowed up by school. I'm trying to think of a funny way to tell you it's all your fault.

Please post more.

Mary said...

I moved out of Utah county. Even though I still teach there, I feel slightly less repressed. It's refreshing.