And by this, I mean blogging. I'm a little disgusted by how infrequent a blogger I've become. I wish I could blame future child entirely, but we all know that I always have some reason not to blog, usually involving T.V.
(Side note: I started watching How I Met Your Mother over the break, and it is embarrassing how close I am to being caught up. I like HIMYM. Is it not cool anymore? I live in a TV time warp.)
(Another side note: This blog post is coming to you in the form of No Delete Thursday. Which means barring a huge typo, or maybe even despite the huge typo, I'm not deleting anything I write. I'm that rusty at blogging. Apologies (or, if it is awesomely embarrassing,) You're Welcome, in advance.
It is weird that I always put off blogging because I really enjoy it. I like interacting with people, and I'm a glutton for attention. It is also a great way to kill time. Maybe my reluctance to blog stems from my superego trying to control the raging narcissist id that is my blogging persona.
Oh shit. Claiming to be a narcissist is what truly annoying narcissist bloggers do in an attempt to be cute. Oh, here is my one-millionth photo shoot of me doing mundane things! Bahaha, I'm such a narcissist, want to see what I wore c/o Anthro?
Damn you, No Delete Thursday, damn you to hell.
News and Updates
-Spouseman claims pregnancy doubles all pre-existing personality traits. Thus, I have become even more antisocial (I find myself avoiding social gatherings for no other reason than I worry about being homesick) and more easily enraged (I don't care if it is No Delete Thursday, I'm not telling you about some of my more awesome rage freak outs.) I'd feel bad for Spouseman, until I remember that not only am I the one rapidly gaining weight and going insane, it is also my job to push this kid out. So, really, dealing with an angry hermit is not that big a deal. Be grateful for that Y chromosome, friend.
Want to know the way I remember which gender has the XX chromosome and which has the XY? XX is the girl because it is closest to XXX which means porn stars, who, in my mind, for the purpose of memory-keeping, are all girls. Sexist? Yes. Even true? No. Meaning men are also porn stars, the part about XX and XY chromosomes is true. Slightly ashamed that I put that on the internet? Yes. But the integrity of No Delete Thursday lives on.
If this were one of my normal posts at this point I would
a. use a poem to help resolve my deeply rooted issues with the LDS church.
b. insert the word "damn" into another word (i.e. adamndorable.)
c. develop some form of conclusion/ask a question so I could wrap this up.
Clearly, this is not a normal post.
Side note: I really liked how people left comments on my last (non-deleted) post about what poems/bits of literature they have floating in their heads. Aren't words wonderful? I think you can tell a lot about a person based on what poem they keep in their heads. I think you can tell that they are awesome.
Anyway, as I've mentioned, I'm really angry sometimes when gestating. I told this to the person I Visit Teach, and she told me how she kicked in a door while pregnant with her second child. That made me feel really good, because I've done a lot of things (including throwing away any of my husband's church books that were written by Packer, Young, or McKonkie in a fit of church rage) but I haven't kicked in a door yet.
Spouseman, if you are reading this, I am sorry about throwing the books away without telling you. (Until now, on the internet.) In my defense, I could have said I threw away all your church books that were homophobic, sexist, or racist (in that order,) and I know you haven't read 90% of them anyway, nor do I think you have noticed their absence. Also, I refuse to look up how to spell McKonkie, but find my way very amusing.
Given that I just confessed to chucking (not even recycling, just chucking,) a bunch of Venerated Chruch Literature away, are you surprised to learn that I am a kickass Visiting Teacher? For real. I hardly ever miss a month. I've given up on many church-related rituals (either entirely, or else modified them so that they suit my needs,) but I'll be damned (if you are a TBM, you might take that literally,) if I don't visit my church sisters. I genuinely like Visiting Teaching, though. I like talking to people about kicking doors in while pregnant, and even having meaningful gospel related discussions without worrying if it is the right "church answer."
I think I would like church a lot more if there were more talk about how human we all are, and less talk about what will happen to people who have double-earrings in the Millennium. (Spoiler alert: Spirit Prison. Seriously, last time I went to Relief Society, one sweet sister was very adamant that this was Christ's chosen way of dealing with multiple piercings.)
Anyway, after typing the word "porn" out a whole lot, I think it is time to wrap this thing up. I should leave you all in order to read some of my fascinating pregnancy literature, but I will probably just join Ted Mosby in another quest to find his future wife. It's been a very fun No-Delete Thursday. Really, I mean that, and if I don't, there is nothing I can do about it anyway.