no delete (it is thursday somewhere....)


I think I've this mentioned before, but every summer I turn into an insomniac. I don't know why this is, oh wait, I probably do. I turn into an insomniac because from June to late August, I have no schedule. Oh, the life of a teacher. Remind yourselves of my summer freedom every time you roll around in your piles of money that you get from the job society actually appreciates. My teenage brother came home from work the other day, (Clara and I were visiting my Mom,) and Grant just emptied a bunch of 20 and 50 dollar bills from his pockets. From one day of work. I don't want to live on a planet where I think my teenage brother makes more than me pulling weeds when I'm the one EDUCATING THE LEADERS OF THE FUTURE, but here we are, on this planet.

For the record, I don't want to live on a planet where Romney is a serious contender for the White House, the Kardashians make money, and people keep electing Republicans, but what can you do?

A complete and ADD-fueled aside: I've decided that Glitter is the crafting equivalent of Moderate Republicans. Fun in theory, but really, just a mess to clean up and sort of pointless.

I don't know why I capitalized "Glitter," but this is no delete Thursday, so Glitter is now a proper noun. Wahoo!

Hmmmmm, what else should I tell you, internet, on this no delete post? Aha! I shall break the cardinal rule of blogging and talk about blogging. Quick note before we get started though. I do not understand why it is socially acceptable for a blogger to post ninety thousand photos of themselves in a single post, but we aren't supposed to talk about blogging. We are just supposed to pretend that this is our secret journal that mysteriously wound up on the internet, and not acknowledge the fourth wall that is blogging for an audience. I know people read this. I write for an audience. Is "fourth wall" even the correct term for recognizing that you know people are reading your blog? I don't know. All I know is that when the characters in Seinfeld broke the fourth wall, it was all REVOLUTIONARY and TV HISTORY. So there you go.

Anyway, blogging about blogging. I realized my blogging kryptonite (spell check is not letting me fix that in blogger, and if we are going to be capitalizing Glitter, we are going to be leaving kryptonite.) Anyway, perhaps I should refer to this as my blogging Achilles heel, since I apparently know how to spell Achilles. Shit this post is getting embarrassing.


My blogging Achilles heel is dick commenters who misunderstand what I mean, usually because they are sort of dumb. Is that also against blogging rules, to acknowledge that some of your readers might be one candle short of a chandelier? Most of you are great, and I love interacting with you. Most of my friends are internet friends now, some that I have met in real life, and like that book they sell in Deseret Book to convince Mormon virgins that it is okay to have sex, "I am not ashamed." I am not ashamed of you internet friends.

Likewise, I usually don't bother with the openly hostile comments, except to remind them that I have feelings. And unless I feel like the conversation will be interesting and constructive, I sort of ignore the ones that disagree with me on every point. Therein lies the rub, though, friends. I don't care if you disagree with me on one of my opinions, as long as you understand what my opinion actually is. 

If you get all up in my face though about how I think all men are evil, or that I am just disagreeing with you because you are a man, (confession, I originally typed because I am a man, and no delete Thursday be damned, I wasn't letting that one go,) I will get in your face trying to clarify.

Which is really, really stupid, because people who read my blog and get that message can't be reasoned with at all, and our conversations just end up like this:

(Don't know source, someone posted this on my Facebook wall. Sorry internets.)

And then I go like this:


And it is a vicious, vicious, cycle, in which I write two whole posts (one I am proud of because it addresses a larger issue about equality, and one I am ashamed of because I wrote it at 1:23 am on a Friday morning, but not really too ashamed because childbirth rids you of any dignity, of which I had very little to begin with, ANYDAMNWAY.)

So my new goal of blogging is to never interact with dumb people. Mean? Yes. Opposition? Yes. Friendly? I'll meet you with a Diet Coke somewhere and we will be friends. Dumb? Of course I still will, don't be ridiculous. But I will be ashamed after. Like Mormons having sex.

See? That all came full circle.

I have to go now. My boobs are going to explode. Sorry, male readers, prudes, and any relative reading this besides my Spouse, who should just apologize because somehow this situation is all his fault.



Xan said...

I love your no delete days!

Also, my favorite line is this: "I've decided that Glitter is the crafting equivalent of Moderate Republicans. Fun in theory, but really, just a mess to clean up and sort of pointless."


Xan said...

Crap, did I just violate the "no loud laughter" Mormon rule?

(Side note, this was mentioned in Elder Scott's Conference talk. Which I really liked, but I still wonder about this "no loud laughter" thing. What is the line? What do they mean?! I have no idea. Because he says a sense of humor helps you get revelation, just no loud/raucous laughter.)

Claire McKinnis said...

i love your approach to commenters- there's a huge difference between a mature discussion and responding to an idiot.

p.s. more pictures of your adorable girl please :)

Lisa Louise said...

haha love the one candle short of a chandelier, i hadn't heard it put that way before. you crack me up steep.

Brooke said...

I just got compared to glitter. Not sure how I feel about that. And I feel you on the money thing ... at my last job I was standing in line at Taco Bell for lunch (because you know, who can afford anything nicer?) and I saw a manager's position posted. It was really depressing to realize they would start at a higher salary than I was making with two years experience at my "contribute to society" job that required a bachelor's degree. My job required me to work with a couple local school districts, and while I totally agreed with them teachers are HIGHLY undervalued and really needed to be paid more, it was hard to be too sympathetic because even the first-year teachers were making more than me and they at least got summers off instead while I was working the 4th of July and Christmas Day that year. Yay capitalism?

Brooke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephanie said...


Clearly, you have some repenting to do. :)

Miss Kendra said...

"I've decided that Glitter is the crafting equivalent of Moderate Republicans. Fun in theory, but really, just a mess to clean up and sort of pointles."

I would like to use this on Facebook and anywhere else I can :)

I am like you, in that I grew up LDS and have um, conflicting views now as an adult. I love your blog. I love your view on church, Utah, conference and more.

The point for my comment: my father is running for Legislature in Utah. He is one of those wonderful Mormons who is real, kind, and best of all unjudgemental. His ward loves him, as does everyone else who has ever met him. He went to BYU, was a JAG in the Army for 25 years, and worked for the state as an assist Attorney General. Guess what? He probably won't get elected. Want to know why... Because he is a democrat.
My point in telling you this? I just wanted to tell you that I wish more people were like you and looked at people as people instead of a religion or political officiate.

Miss Kendra said...

Btw: your baby is so cute!

Angela Baarz said...

I love your exploding boobs comment at the end. (Didn't think you'd get praise for that one did ya?) I pump exclusively for my little girl and I feel your pain (as do all women who have nursed/pumped). What a pain, right? (Literally.)

Hillary said...

I once heard someone call glitter the herpes of craft supplies. No matter how hard you try, or how long out it was used, you just can't seem to get rid of every last bit of it (and unfortunately it spreads everywhere). I'm sure there's a joke or metaphor or something in there re: republicans.

AnnaSchu said...

yes no delete days are definitely becoming the highlight of this blog for me. candle short of a chandelier...I'm keeping that.

Caitlin said...

I'm sure you know this, but in a few month the "water balloon about to burst" feeling in your chest gets so much better. I still nurse my one year old, but can now go 12 hours without discomfort. I hated the early engorgement days!

Also, I get in trouble with my husband a lot because I can't resist arguing with idiots on the internets. I know it never changes things, but I just. can't. stop. Perhaps there needs to be a 12 step program?

Trav and Lizzie said...

That was awesome. I, also, can't stand to live in a work where the K fam and snookie make boo-koo bucks. What in the hell is wrong with our society?

And I concur, don't answer dumb people. It fogs up the comment section and then I have to take many breaks so I can sip my diet coke to recharge my brain and rid it of the blatant idiocy.

MamaBear said...

oh, loud laughter is not correct now? so glad i don't care, having left "the church" years and years ago. i've never regretted my choice. (that is my biggest parameter for difficult decisions, which am i less likely to regret.) another stellar job! <3

Cassandra said...

Ugh, I'm with you-- I also don't want to live on a planet where Romney is running for president (and people are actually planning to vote for him) and the Kartrashians make bank for being whores while teachers and nurses are woefully underpaid. On the upside, at least it's not Kim K running for President.

Great blog, by the way! Keep it up!

llegue said...

I am wondering why Republicans and Mitt Romney are so bad. Could someone tell me? I realize that in this post it's all in good fun but in reading lots of blogs and fb, there is this underlying feeling that Republicans are the devil incarnate and that you are worse than Hitler is you are a Republican. I really don't know where I stand in the political spectrum so I'd really love to be educated. On the flip side, I do hear derogatory comments towards Democrats (Not as often as towards Republicans) and those bother me as well.

ChristyLove said...

So um, now that I'm all internet-paranoid that I'm one of the dummies you ignore because they misunderstand you and now I'll never get to meet you in real life like some creepy stalker person,

Hi. I like your no-deletes.