no delete....friday

I mean, we can pretend it is Thursday, if you want. I would have done a no-delete post yesterday, but I was busy napping and eating sour patch kids.

This post is brought to you by the fact that Clara is exhausted from another riveting day at daycare, but absolutely refuses to sleep, because why sleep? Last time she fell asleep Mom abandoned her and left her in the care of teens, so instead, she will just lay on my side and stare at me angrily. How dare you, Mom, how dare you? It is sad, how desperately she fights sleep, and how she absolutely refuses to be held or cuddled, since that would lead to sleep. Stubborn little nugget. (We should have expected this behavior, coming from the former-fetus who would start moving head down, only to flip back up. My c-section scar thanks you for that, Clara Alice.)

Anyway, when I say riveting in reference to daycare, I mean it, that isn't the usual Child Bride sarcastic bullshittery you've grown to know and love. They take very good care of her there, despite the fact that until recently she was very fussy, and had a habit of staging passive aggressive diaper blow-outs every day during her nap. I guess that isn't passive aggressive  that is just regular aggressive  Way to break gender normative expectations of conflict avoidance, child. Anyway, they take very good care of her, and there really is only one teen who comes in as an aide, and I like her. 

What else is new? Not much. I thought Mimi Smartypants had a funny post today. (CAUTION: blog linked is profane sometimes, politically incorrect often, and occasionally sweet and tender. So read at your own will and pleasure and please don't email me some nonsense about how you just cannot believe that a sweet Mormon girl would link to such trash. Because I will just laugh at you because WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS.) 

Anyway, here is a link to the Smartypants blog:

Here is my favorite blurb from her last post: 

"Her teacher is a dude, and is of the “Entertaining Rockstar” ilk—chatty, goofy, fond of props and technology and humor. The kind of teacher that kids LOVE and parents…also love, although my inner bitch sometimes silently rolls her eyes at the level of sparkly enthusiasm. Do not get me wrong, if there is any profession where daily sparkly passionate enthusiasm is a huge plus it is probably teaching. I am super grateful that people like that exist and are making my kid’s fourth-grade year a joyful, learning-rich time. I just get a little mentally worn out being around such people."

I probably would wear out Mimi smartypants, especially today when I drank so much caffeine to get through the day that I was walking the fine line between "enthusiastic educator" and "manic lunatic not to be left in the presence of children."  Also, Mimi Smartypants is not a fan of Mormons, so I'm probably screwed on that front too. (I can't  believe a sweet little Mormon girl would link to such trash, yada yada yada I hate you....)

Maybe Smartypants lady wouldn't like me, but it doesn't stop me from reading and enjoying her blog. Sometimes I get comments or emails from people saying things like "I like your blog, even though you probably don't like mine." I always wonder about that. I click over to their blogs and they are usually mommy- type blogs, and I am, despite frequent accusations to the contrary, cool with moms. Are you nice? Do you talk about your kids in a funny way? Do you occasionally post really easy recipes that are delicious? I will probably like your blog just fine. Do you humblebrag about how awesome you and your spouse are, including the inability to separate yourself from your spouse's academic or career accomplishments ("We are in Medical School....".) Game over, in that case. Otherwise, please proceed  I probably like you fine, and probably even find your children adorable. Be funny. Don't be a dickalope.

Speaking of children, my students were very funny today. If you are my friend on facebook, you already hear a lot about the funny things they say, but what if you are not my friend? If you are not my friend please enjoy the following gems for the first time. 

Student A: "I hate this class! We spend so much time looking at words!" 
Student B: "That's called reading, this is English, and you are an idiot."


Best tattletale student ever: " Richard won't give up his notions of normative gender roles! He's being a privileged male again!"

See? They are funny. If you are seeing those gems for a second time, I apologize. Clearly, my blogging skills are bordering awfully close to non-existent. I did not even swear creatively in this post.  Unless you count dickalope, which I guess I do.

Thus ends this edition of no-delete Day-Ending-With-Y. I cheated a few times. I was going to talk about a mom-blogger that is rude to me, but I decided I've got 99 problems but a crazy mom-blogger ain't one.


BeccaVT said...

I am enamored with dickalope. And bullshittery, which seems related to douchebaggery, in a surprisingly lovely way.

Thanks for the new vocabulary words, and a peek into a workplace not filled entirely with boring, responsible adults. Adolescents FTW.

AzĂșcar said...

Was it me? I hope it wasnt me. Unless it is me, in which case i am sorry. Unless it was someone else being rude in which case SCREW THEM. My phone won't let me edit for punctuation today, so screw it. Why does my phone hate English? Let's fast for my phone.

Stephanie said...

@ Azucar

I just realized I broke a major blogging rule: vague drama blogging.

No it is not you! We've disagreed, but you've never been rude. Like most of my friends. :)

Ang said...

Dickalope. Haha. Just had to say it out loud.

AnnaSchu said...

i'm with the dickalope crew. i'm adopting it. it will like me a lot. i am glad it got two mentions because it means you realize how completely amazing that word is. you are usually my literary hero. especially with swears.

lifeofdi said...

I must find a way to work dickalope into casual conversation sometimes this week. I didn't think I was a creative (semi) curser until I was told by several people that they'd never heard of douchecanoe or twatwaffle, which I thought were pretty common.

Crystal said...

I'm totally going to count dickalope as the word of the day tomorrow and sneak it in as often as possible in my conversations.


Rachel said...

don't forget the truly awesome exhaustipated....which doesn't come across like swearing but translates into "too tired to give a shit". That folks is the beauty of the english language.

theirondaisywrites said...

I just need to thank you for introducing me to Mimi Smartypants. I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

Carmen said...

I fit all of those criteria. I never talk about my husband. And I don't THINK it was me being rude.

I break the vague blogging rule a lot.