Clara goes hiking and other things.


That should make you feel special, because that is how I address people in real-life most of the time, especially my students or co-workers. Every year I try a social experiment where I say a specific thing a lot, and try and get my students to start saying it too. Nothing too radical, (although I did successfully get all my co-workers to start saying "douchebag") but just enough to indicate that I can warp tiny teenage heads into saying things like "Greetings." I also end class with "goodbye forever." One time, my sub from maternity leave tried to say that and the students got mad at her, because that was my thing. Sweet victory. Also? Much cooler than standing on your desk all "Oh Captain my Captain."

I freaking hate that movie.

This is not a big announcement or anything, but sometimes I think we are nearing the end here, with the old blog. I mean, probably not, because I like attention, but I realized something recently: this blog always maintained the primary function of getting me through something. I started it in college, I complained all through grad school, I kvetched about unemployment here, survived my first year of teaching, and then began the agonizing process of tearing my faith apart and building it into something new. I hate remodels. In future lives, if my reincarnated self picks a religion, I hope she doesn't pick such a fixer-upper, even if it has tons of potential.

Oh, and then there was that time I got pregnant...

Anyway, I'm looking out now and seeing no big storms ahead. Last night we had our National Honors Society Induction Ceremony, which used to really stress me out. Planning! Emailing! Musical Numbers! Now I've got that sucker down to a 35 minutes fine-tuned machine, with cookies after. (Side note: I think parents appreciate short events. As much as we all love your student, no one wants to spend hours in a school Auditorium. Ever.)

That is sort of what the rest of my life is like. It used to really stress me out, now it doesn't. I graduated. I've been teaching for three years, and while I'm always trying to do better, not a lot freaks me out anymore. Took a semi-permanent hiatus on the church thing. No more babies or wild hormones (for a while) to create blog fodder.

So while I will probably always stick around, these very occasional check-ins are probably the new normal around here. Until something else traumatic happens and I once again don't want to shell out money for a therapist. Tragedy bloggers really do have it made, right? Tragedy and fashion bloggers will outlive any zombie apocalypse. (Now take a minute to imagine all those hipsters in their maxi skirts and J.Crew bubble necklaces trying to fight off zombies. I'd read that blog, and so would you.)

In other news we took a trip up to Midway a few weekends ago. I like Midway/Heber, both towns are so unapologetic in their Utahness. Kitschy Relief Society crafts sold in every establishment ever! Even the bike rental place. Five thousand ice cream stores! Cheese! Oh, Utah.

We took Clara on a hike, and it was one of those happy moments when you find yourself living the life you imagined growing up. You went on hikes with your parents, with your baby sibling in the back pack, and you imagined what it would be like, to be the grown- up. Now I'm the grown- up watching Clara ride on my husband's back, and I know that life is still good. Life is still good post graduation and  teaching, and even post faith-crisis. I thought my world would fall apart, and it didn't. It got better.

Dan says Clara spent most of the hike whispering conspiratorially in his ear.

Goodbye forever! (But you know, not really.)


Breeanne said...

"I thought my world would fall apart, and it didn't. It got better."


Alyssa said...

Love that cute baby face! Also - I successfully got an entire semesters worth of freshmen to start using the phrase "that's so boss" in everyday conversation, and thinking they were so original and hip in doing so. There's some sweet satisfaction in manipulating those young minds in inconsequential ways!!

postmormongirl said...

Sounds like you are in a good place - and that is one adorable baby. :)

Mrs. Clark said...

You are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT about short-and-sweet auditorium events. I remember one particularly painful middle-school chorus recital that went on over 2 HOURS. (The teacher was new.) On a school night, too! All the parents were barely concealing their fury. Nearly 10 p.m. when we got home.

Also--parents are not all that interested in someone else's kid's awards, etc. They are there for their own kid, period.

Keep that sucker to 35 minutes. That's perfect.

Kimberly Wilson said...

"Goodbye forever" *better* not be for real. I already lost another favorite blog (Becoming Something) because she wrote to get through something, and she got through it, and came out the other side.

How am I supposed to be a voyeur if you're not fronting the info, eh?

; )

p.s. My husband ALWAYS says "Good Morning," day or night. Not to try to affect local culture. Just because he's eccentric.

Trav and Lizzie said...

You're seriously funny. And smart. Don't quit blogging, okay?
I hate most blogs and I love yours.
I've known lots of people who have experienced a faith crisis. Maybe I'm one of them? I haven't really decided... Anyways, most of them have lasted years and years. How long has yours been? You seem to have gotten through it fairly quickly.

MJ said...

I will happily read every post you write. You have been such a help in my own faith crisis. Thank you for everything.

Stephanie said...

@Trav or Lizzie: Unofficially?Shit hit the fan around 2007/2008. Officially? I started acting on what I was feeling in 2010. Everyone is different, I guess. I also think things go in cycles. I'm probably due for a rematch soon. :)

Wendy said...

Well,I'm torn - I have always enjoyed reading your blog, but I feel selfish to be bummed for me when less blogging means a better place for you. Even though I haven't commented much, you provoked a great deal of thought. You've helped me better define my thoughts on what actually bothers me with Mormonism, and what doesn't, and somehow both to better tolerate people when I tolerate them but to feel free to walk away without feeling bad or guilty if I'm not in the mood to be tolerant at that moment - if that makes any sense at all.

Jules said...

Not that this is particularly relevant to your post, but I simply must know why you hate Dead Poet's Society. I know what MY beef with that film is, but don't have enough friends familiar with the movie to have any kind of discussion. So . . . do tell.

Jules said...

Not that this is particularly relevant to your post, but I simply must know why you hate Dead Poet's Society. I know what MY beef with that film is, but don't have enough friends familiar with the movie to have any kind of discussion. So . . . do tell.

theirondaisywrites said...

I also hate Dead Poet's Society! To answer Jules, the reason why I hate it is because Robert Sean Leonard bugs the crap out of me, and there is no way, NO WAY, his character would commit suicide. Neil would have waited it out until his father no longer had a hold on his life to do what he wanted. And seriously, these boys rebelled by sneaking out and reading poetry together? In the immortal words of Cher Horowitz, "As if!" If we're talking movies with preppy boarding schools set in the 1950s give me "School Ties" anytime.

Mary said...

I think your therapy has provided a lot of therapy for others, so hopefully we do hear from you now and again.

Christina Bishop said...

You have asked questions I never thought to ask, which caused me to start searching for answers I never knew I needed. It has been amazing! I could blab forever (as in goodbye in not really forever) about some of the insights I have gained, but I'll leave you instead with a short and sweet thank you!

Your baby is ridiculously cute. :)

Tiffany said...

I know this is super late, but I loved this post. It made me feel good inside. :)