Billboards (day 3)

This is a memoir writing project created by Ann Dee Ellis. We write 8 minute memoirs based on her prompts. All the cool kids are doing it. Today's prompt:Billboards

What the fuck do I know about billboards?

The only billboards I can picture are the ones speckled along the freeway on the way down to Provo.There are three kinds of billboards as you drive down to Provo:

1. An ad for some type of plastic surgery.

2. An ad for some type of modest clothing

3. An ad for some type of MLM company.

I remember someone noting that the billboards on the way to Provo reinforce our cultural belief that women should have lots of babies, (as Modest Mormon Women) but never LOOK like they've had lots of babies (As Modest Mormon Women with Perfect Boobs.)

A friend of mine died getting a boob job. She had three girls.

But I am not against boob jobs. Your body, your choice.

But I am against that universal monolith of perfect Mormon femaleness.

The MLMs of course, are a reminder that perfect (righteous) people can get rich quick.

I remember driving down to Provo to visit BYU after I'd been accepted as a senior in High School. I really wanted to go to BYU. For the same reason I wanted a perfect body, and a perfect spirit and a perfectly neat organized life. BYU is so clean and sterile and I was (am) obsessed with perfection. 

If I went to BYU, I'd tame the wildness inside me and be happy.

Three weeks before school started, I decided to go to the U instead.

My life has been a tangled, wild, non-perfect mess ever since. 

I am happy.

This is the first time I've ever typed fuck on my blog. 


Breanne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Breanne said...

I agree all around, but I can't believe you didn't mention this one: https://m.reddit.com/r/SaltLakeCity/comments/4ikjwr/what_its_like_to_drive_through_salt_lake_right_now/?utm_source=mweb_redirect&compact=true

Will said...

When it comes to Boobs, I wonder if part of it is because many women have children so young. I hear having children plays have havoc with the chest. Having children so young often means having that happen at a time when they are still somewhat at their "peak" attractiveness. Perhaps if they had them later in life, they would have already come to the realization that the "ideal" body is not forever nor realistic.

Cocomo said...

Well, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck why not? I mean why not use the word? And, yes, plastic surgery, big houses and winter homes in St. George seems to be a "biggie" on the must haves for many Mormons. Maybe that is why Utah county is one of the big fraud capitals of the world. Get rich quick by any means mainly Ponzi schemes, multi-level marketing, whatever. And so it goes.

Chloe said...

Fuck, it's lovely to have your writing to read again.

Last year I hired a car and drove from Utah to Provo to visit BYU. I am from Australia, and driving on the wrong side of snowy roads with a boy in the front seat of my car who does not drive and kept pinching my phone (map) to check facebook was one of the scariest things I've ever done.

Standing in the food court in BYU looking at all the people and trying feel how Mormon they all were was exactly the sort of strangeness I wanted. I bought a hoddie, a snow globe, and returned the hire car early to the Provo airport (it cost $150 to give it back sooner than planned). We caught the train back to Salt Lake.

I didn't notice any of the billboards, I was trying too hard not to kill us both.

Feisty Harriet said...

F-word cheers!


Rory Tarics said...

dumb question -- what does MLM mean here? i keep reading it as marxist-leninist-maoist but i'm pretty sure that's not what you're using it for